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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's very sad that some parents can't be bothered to take their children to the school christmas fair

200 replies

emkana · 07/12/2007 21:54

And before you all start I know that there are 101 very good reasons why some parents can't take their children.

But some could and just choose not to and I think that's sad for their children and sad for the school.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 08/12/2007 22:54

Message withdrawn

Doodledootoo · 08/12/2007 22:56

Message withdrawn

SantasUnderGodzillasBumcheek · 08/12/2007 22:57

Then (bows graciously) i apologise for earlier narkiness Doodledootoo (and previous mispelling of name which i noticed after i posted), and i now will fark orf to bed

(But i'm still not going to the school fairs cos they're rubbish)
(And i'm having to pay over £100 on school trips next year so can i please be excused? If not, tough, goodnight!)

MummyTubb · 08/12/2007 23:36

I've read through all the posts on here (now that is sad) and I still think YABU.

My oldest is only 3 so school is still another 9 months away. I am yet to experience the school christmas fair. However, I would be more than a little annoyed if I felt forced to go. Quite honestly, it is no-one's business but mine how I spend my 'free' time. Who are you to say that sitting on my backside in front of the TV on a Saturday afternoon is not a valid use of my time (or of anyone else's time)?

School, whilst a very important part of our local communities, is not it's be all and end all. I used to be a Guide leader (and you'd be amazed how many people just treated me as a free childminder for two hours a week), and still do fundraising activities for our county. I am involved with a lot of our local church activities. Last week I did a little presentation to one of the WI groups in the area (which "made our morning"). My point is that I think I do quite a lot for my local community, so I'd be pretty annoyed if someone marked me down as a lazy so-and-so who couldn't be bothered to do anything just because I chose not to go to a school fair.

And finally, I'd just like to say Christmas is not about fundraising for the school, it's not about making sure the kids have fun no matter what (although generally mine do), it's not about buying a load of rubbish which is only going to add to the landfill problem. It is about remembering the humble birth of Christ and the sacrifice he made for us.

becklesparkle · 08/12/2007 23:49

I agree with Doodledootoo.

Our PTA is very small. We struggle to get people to help with anything regarding fundraising. In a school of over 200 pupils we had 5 people donate something for the summer fair.

OTOH the money we raise with events like fairs and discos goes back into the school. The transport fund gets a fair bit which means that school trips are more affordable for everyone. All the classrooms now have interactive white boards, there are new 'stage lights' in the hall and new sports equipment for the children to use at playtime.

And the main point is that the fairs and discos are not for the parents to enjoy, they are for the children! And you don't have to spend a fortune, my DSs took £5 each with them (their own pocket money they had saved especially) and as I have said they came home very happy!

becklesparkle · 08/12/2007 23:53

I don't think the OP is saying that everyone should go to the fair, she even said that there are people with genuine reasons for not going!

It is sad when the only reason is they can't be arsed to give up an hour or 2 of their time to do something which in most cases, the children will enjoy.

Judy1234 · 09/12/2007 07:45

Yes, 23 years of them is abit much. ACtually it's more like 20 because it would be when the youngest was 3 or 2 we went to our first at her nursery school and looking into "big schools" she might go to.

Also I think they're less of a thing in private schools. You've paid all that money for the school to buy things and there isn't quite the same ethos to go to them or help. They do raise a lot of funds for extras but it's not quite so compulsory in its feel.

tigermoth · 09/12/2007 07:56

lots more to read on here since I posted!

I still stick by my view that supporting school fairs is a good way (not the only way of course) of fostering community spirit at your school. And I think it's a good thing to feel part of the school community.

Unlike many people here, I like them as much as my children. However, my ds2 is now 8 years old and the only child I have at primary school. I don't have to watch him constantly when we go to fairs. It was much more stressful when I had two ds at the school and my younger ds was a toddler. Pushchairs and school fairs are not an easy mix.

But now I have no ties - I can help on the stalls or just chat to all the parents I know (or hope to meet). So for me, it's as much fun as going to a mumsnet meetup (and that's a compliment to both things!). Having a reason to be there, common ground with the other parents, is a great ice breaker.

IME you don't get this sort of thing at secondary school, so don't take it for granted now. Time passes amazingly quickly and before your know it, your dc will be in year 6 and waving primary school - and school fairs like this - goodbye.

SantasUnderGodzillasBumcheek · 09/12/2007 08:28

Lol @ Becklesparkle saying £5 for each dc is not much...oh how i LOL.

differentbutthesame · 09/12/2007 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doodledootoo · 09/12/2007 10:34

Message withdrawn

pinetreedog · 09/12/2007 10:43

if you bought a christmad pudding for £7.75, you iz nutz

pinetreedog · 09/12/2007 10:43

(root vegetable)

LittleSleighBellasRinging · 09/12/2007 10:57

Oh God the self-righteousness of this thread. Do some of you spend your whole lives looking out for things to criticise about other people? Are you my mother?

I went to my DD's christmas fayre, but it didn't occur to me to think it was sad that other parents didn't.

And also, there is a limited amount of space. If there were a three line whip to force all parents to go, there wouldn't actually be space to let them in. So actually those who didn't come, are doing the rest of us a service by leaving us room to move around in.

Doodledootoo · 09/12/2007 13:14

Message withdrawn

becklesparkle · 09/12/2007 13:31

£5 each of their own pocket money Godzilla, which they saved up especially. They didn't spend it all either.

becklesparkle · 09/12/2007 13:32

Well put Doodledoo!

MerryAnnSinglemas · 09/12/2007 13:39

yes, second that doodledoo

Original poster
emkana · 09/12/2007 19:40

Thank you Doodledoo, you sum it up well.

OP posts:
themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 09/12/2007 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 09/12/2007 19:49

It's okay tmmj, I've worked out a way to protect them

edam · 09/12/2007 19:53

Blimey. As it happens, I took ds to his school's Christmas fair, but if I'd been told there was a three line whip I'd have been tempted to stay at home in protest. It was on a Saturday - parents and children are free to do other stuff at the weekends, you know.

(I'm still recovering from running the Bouncy Castle at the Autumn fair, so don't think I fall into any 'can't be bothered' camp.)

differentbutthesame · 09/12/2007 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janni · 09/12/2007 20:54

No, I didn't take mine.

It's the first time in six years I haven't been heavily involved in the organising and as he's had a couple of days off pretend-sick so we can madly coach him to take an entrance exam for which his school do not know he is entered and he's also having Monday off to take the exam, I figured he couldn't show up on Saturday for the fair.

Also, I found out last week that my younger son, who recently left that school, had learned some pretty choice sexual information from a child in his former class, which he proceeded to repeat in his new school, whereupon he was threatened with expulsion should it happen again. I therefore didn't feel like taking him in case I committed homicide against the mother of the guilty child.

Also, it was my recently adopted daughter's third birthday and her entire, extended foster family were invited, thereby making me feel that I really needed to prove I was a good enough adoptive mother for their darling foster-daughter and thus needed the day to prepare for the gathering.

Also, it was absolutely chucking it down.

Will that do as an excuse?

Beetroot · 09/12/2007 20:54

I hate them

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