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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's very sad that some parents can't be bothered to take their children to the school christmas fair

200 replies

emkana · 07/12/2007 21:54

And before you all start I know that there are 101 very good reasons why some parents can't take their children.

But some could and just choose not to and I think that's sad for their children and sad for the school.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 08/12/2007 21:23

There are several events at our school, but still you find that out of the 200 or so families it's always the same group who supports all the events, which is galling really - people then don't have a problem with their children benefiting from it...

OP posts:
madamez · 08/12/2007 21:23

Bear in mind also that while some people might not have a 'good' reason (explosive diarrhoea, being held hostage by armed gunman, only day of the season that a distant relative can visit etc) some people's DC would rather go to the park/swimming/Pizza Hut or stay in and crayon on the walls.
My DS is only 3 so we have not had to worry about this yet, however, I am perhaps a Bad Mother for refusing pantomime tickets on the grounds that he is 3 and probably wouldn't enjoy it that much but more importantly both I and his dad farking hate pantomimes and would rather chainsaw our own heads off than sit through one.

Original poster
emkana · 08/12/2007 21:25

Okay madamez but then there is no charity aspect to that, whereas there is to supporting the school fair.

OP posts:
pigleto · 08/12/2007 21:28

I like school christmas fairs. I enjoy all the glitter and tat. Some people don't like it so they don't bother attending. Horses for courses and all, definately not worth getting your knickers in a twist over.

Original poster
emkana · 08/12/2007 21:29

But the point is if people don't go, where is the money supposed to come from for all the extras that people want for their children?

[slightly exasperated ]

OP posts:
madamez · 08/12/2007 21:32

IMO 'it's for charity' doesn't justify bullying or inconveniencing or annoying other people in any way. What people want to give to charity is up to them, and there's nothing wrong with simply making a cash donation rather than being rammed up against a load of people in a crowded shreiking hall or shelling out your money at 50p a time on rubbish you wouldn't want to give houseroom to. How do you actually know that the families who have not come to the Xmas fair have not quietly slipped the school a fiver instead?

Original poster
emkana · 08/12/2007 21:33

Of course I don't know that, but I very much doubt it in the majority of cases.

OP posts:
camillathechicken · 08/12/2007 21:35

i am agreeing with Madamez

trying to bully parents into going, is just counter productive

for some parents financially , it is not an option, or due to other constraints

i don't think they should be disallowed from enjoying the same benefits as the children whose parents can afford it

sparklygothkat · 08/12/2007 21:35

my kids new school don't have a xmas fete I used to love going to the one at their old school

Desiderata · 08/12/2007 21:37

Why don't they, Sparkly?

WestCountryLass · 08/12/2007 21:47

Well I took my DC to theirs this morning and they loved it!

It was stressful at times as it was raining cats and dogs so we got their wet and with a double buggy and DS2 did not sleep through it as intended so I had to cart him round with me BUT the PSA had made a huge effort and it was a really well organised and a good turn out.

That said, it did cost me £15. This term I have paid out for tea towels, Xmas puddings, shoe boxes (x 2), goody bags (x 2), items for the tombola (x 2), school photos, school trips and a few other thigns besides which have set me back over £100

sparklygothkat · 08/12/2007 21:50

no idea, I think they don't have a good PTA, we don't have summer fetes, xmas fetes, discos. I think I will have a word in the office on monday and find out why.

WestCountryLass · 08/12/2007 21:54

The school my kids are at has a very active PSA. I think once you have an established PSA then it almost runs itself but you need someone in the first place to get it up and running.

Desiderata · 08/12/2007 21:56

Go for it, sparkly. It usually takes just one person with the will, and everyone else follows.

It does seem a huge shame.

scrummyfairyontopofthetree · 08/12/2007 21:58

Ours is Monday. Changed for the better this year as Head Teacher has asked year 5 and 6 (ds1 in year 6) to run it. It starts at 2.00pm. All the little ones get to go round the fair and in between the older ones will get little breaks so they can have a look at the other stalls.

At 3.00 the bell will ring for children to go back to their class and then the parents can go in and either collect their children and go home or take them back to the fair. Fair open till 4.30.

The only thing I object to though is our children have to provide the float money for their stalls. They will get it back (and I know it will probably teach the kids about being responsible with money) but the profit is for the school so why can't they provide it in the first place.

The children do love it but I agree with West CountryLass, at this time of year there is a lot to shell out for. Sometimes I think it would be better for our school if they just asked for £30 per term and get it over and done with.

sparklygothkat · 08/12/2007 22:02

they had some sort of a fair last year but only for the kids no parents were allowed and it was during school time. Its a shame because the old school used to make tons of money for equiment at their fetes

Doodledootoo · 08/12/2007 22:04

Message withdrawn

madamez · 08/12/2007 22:06

Certainly 'can't be bothered' might well translate as 'we have no spare money at all but I don't want to admit this to some do-gooding twat with a clipboard'. ANd surely some of the reason the funds are being raised in the first place is so that the kids whose parents are really broke can also go on school trips, etc - so it might be a bit counterproductive for those broke parents to feel obliged to come and spend their money on tat...

camillathechicken · 08/12/2007 22:06

but if we support the summer fair , halloween disco and various other things, can we not be excused the xmas fair? or does it have to be all or nothing? last year, Xmas fair cost me #28, summer fair #35.. not insignificant amounts

Reallytired · 08/12/2007 22:10

It depends what you mean about not being arsed about your child's school. There is a huge difference between someone having no interest in social events and having no interest in their child's education.

I don't take my son to the school fair because I don't want him coming back with a heap of cr@p. I prefer to socialise with my true friends than people who just happen to send their child to the same school.

I certainly attend important things like parents' evenings, I make sure my son does his homework and reading. I also make sure he turns up to school on time in a clean state.

Doodledootoo · 08/12/2007 22:12

Message withdrawn

camillathechicken · 08/12/2007 22:14

so it is ok not to go, if you go to other things and have a valid reason and doctors note excusing you?

ElasticAnimal · 08/12/2007 22:16

i love mine!

i flirt with all the dads!

ElasticAnimal · 08/12/2007 22:18

actually i don't think it is just "extras" that the fair and such pay for,

SantasUnderGodzillasBumcheek · 08/12/2007 22:19

Hear, hear, madamez!

I am one of the skint parents. I have to fork out for the stupid raffle tickets (two books because i have two kids in the school), and tickets to the school play, where there is also a raffle on entry (optional, but with free looks-down-noses for those who don't join in).
This year, we have had a £35 school trip (which, seeing as my dds are in the same year, i had to fork out twice), amongst several others. Next year we have a £50 (each) trip coming up...wellll excuuuuuse me for not going to a snodding Christmas Fair...especially a boring pile of w@ank even my kids aren't interested in!

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