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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get DS vaccinated

311 replies

Florence282 · 06/10/2021 08:42

I think this probably not allowed but I'm very interested to see what the general population thinks about vaccinating our DC. DS is 12 and after a tonne of research we've decided not to vaccinate. Other mums in the school are struggling to make a decision.

Yanbu=no to the vaccine
Yabu=yes to the vaccine

OP posts:
cloudsareback · 06/10/2021 09:11

I have 2 boys in the 12-15 age group and it is tricky to make a decision.

However, as I understand it the JCVI have concluded that the health benefits for this age group are in favour of the vaccine (but they are being cautious and because they didn't consider wider educational or social benefits they came down narrowly against vaccination).

Also it would seem that myocarditis caused by COVID may well be a higher risk than that caused by the vaccine.

On balance given the educational and social benefits and the marginal health benefits I think we'll support vaccination for both our boys. It's an easier decision for the y11 tho as he has more to lose educationally this year

wonkylegs · 06/10/2021 09:11

We've let teenage DS decide and he wants it
Our only reluctance was the effect of the programme on availability of vaccinations in developing countries.
DH is a cardiologist and is not concerned over the myocarditis risk after reading and assessing the evidence so far.

earthyfire · 06/10/2021 09:13

I've been double jabbed, but my children won't be having the vaccine. I've already completed the form the school sent out to say we aren't consenting.

Sirzy · 06/10/2021 09:15

Every family will make a decision on this one based on what is best for them. When ds is 12 he will have his but that’s because it’s right for us.

I respect everyone’s decision either way with the u16s as it’s quite complex

Belladonna12 · 06/10/2021 09:19

My DC are are over 16 and have had it. Based on their experiences and that of their friends, if my child was 12 I would certainly let them have it.

The people arguing that we don't know about long-term effects don't seem to be getting the point that there is no entirely risk-free option with this virus as it is so infectious. They can either have a vaccine or they can have Covid. Why are you so worried about the long-term effects of a vaccine which causes a bit of a sore arm and is then washed out the body versus a virus that will quite possibly cause your child to be in bed for a couple of weeks and has killed many people? There is a very small risk of myocarditis with the vaccine but Covid can cause that too. A child recently died of myocarditis in the UK following Covid whereas all cases of myocarditis following vaccination have been mild.

Original poster
Florence282 · 06/10/2021 09:20

Sirzy yes absolutely, I respect everyone's decisions too. Its complicated and every family situation is different. I've been going round and round in circles over it so I fully appreciate that it's not a 'no brainer' for a lot of people.

OP posts:
Peanutsandchilli · 06/10/2021 09:21

My daughter is 13 and will be having it. I've discussed it with her and she feels that it's beneficial for her. I fully trust the science behind vaccines, so the fact that it's a new vaccine doesn't bother me. It's based on thorough research. Anybody can have a bad reaction to any vaccine, and likewise anybody can react badly to catching covid. It's a small risk either way, but ultimately it's my daughter's decision.

Original poster
Florence282 · 06/10/2021 09:22

Belladonna12 very good points.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 06/10/2021 09:22

And don’t forget just because you say no now doesn’t mean that’s not a no never, I know in DS school the team will be going back in throughout the year to do more vaccines for those who have turned 12 or who have decided they do want it.

earthyfire · 06/10/2021 09:25

Our decision to decline the vaccine is also based on thorough research.

Belladonna12 · 06/10/2021 09:26

@Florence282

toomuchlaundry we've explained that in adults it can make them really quite poorly which is why DH and I are vaccinated whereas thats not the case in children. We've explained that the JCVI decided not to recommend it to this age group, not because its not safe but because the benefits were minimal, that Chris Whitty has decided to allow children to have it to prevent further disruption to their education. We've explained the very small risk of myocarditis in boys. We explained the pros to having it (eg.protecting grandparents, reducing the chance of having to home school again).
Some of my DC friends have actually been pretty ill following Covid infection and while not hospitalised they certainly wouldn't consider it to be a mild infection. When you explained the risk of myocarditis with the vaccine did you explain that there is also a risk of myocarditis following Covid infection and it could be even worse?. A child recently died from it
Original poster
Florence282 · 06/10/2021 09:28

Sirzy definitely, this isn't now or never. It's OK to take your time over it and change your mind as we all learn more and as our DC get older.

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 06/10/2021 09:30

My older 2 boys are having theirs today.

Original poster
Florence282 · 06/10/2021 09:31

Belladonna12 yes we did. This is where everyone's own experiences will differ and affect their opinion. I don't know any child who has been very poorly with it (thankfully!). If I knew of DC who had struggled with it I may well feel quite differently.

OP posts:
Belladonna12 · 06/10/2021 09:31

@Florence282

Sirzy definitely, this isn't now or never. It's OK to take your time over it and change your mind as we all learn more and as our DC get older.
It is now or never with regarding to being vaccinated and not getting covid though. Any child that is not vaccinated will almost certainly get it by christmas unless they don't go to school.
onlyreadingneverposting8 · 06/10/2021 09:32

I have 5 kids that fall into vaccinated categories. The first is CEV (age 18 at the time of vaccination) and was vaccinated with AZ as group 4. The second is 20 (DD) had her Pfizer over the Summer. 3rd is 17 (DS), 4th DS is 15 and lastly DD 12 Thai month. 3, 4 and 5 have not been vaccinated yet BUT only because they all had covid at the beginning of July. If they'd not had covid they'd definitely be having the vaccination. It carries a smaller risk than covid itself. This of you who had the MMR vaccine - rubella isn't dangerous to children at all. We vaccinated to protect unborn children. Mumps is only VERY rarely dangerous in children we vaccinate to stop adult men becoming infertile if they catch mumps having not had it as a child.

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 06/10/2021 09:33

This not Thai!

Narutocrazyfox · 06/10/2021 09:33

A wise and sensible decision OP. There's no way I'm allowing my children to have the vaccine. The risks far outweigh any slight benefit for a virus that for the vast, VAST majority of children is very mild.

Kendodd · 06/10/2021 09:35

My biggest objection is the fact almost nobody in sub saharan Africa is vaccinated, I've refused a booster for this reason (in in my 50s and in good health).

With regard vaccinating children, I believe a big factor in recommending vaccination was so that they don't miss school. I think it's quite telling that the JCVA took so long to make a decision.

And as for vaccinating children to protect others. Well who is it they are protecting? The vaccine does come with a tiny, tiny risk for them (as does covid). IMO the lives of 100,000 care home residents is not worth death of one 12 year old from vaccination complications, I'm sorry if anyone is offended by that but that's what I think.

With my own children, I've left it up to them. Either way, vaccine, no vaccine the risks are tiny so I'm not going to worry about it.

SprayedWithDettol · 06/10/2021 09:36

I assume that your ‘tonne of research’ was possible because you have a bioscience degree as a minimum. Those dossiers submitted for vaccine/drug approval are very detailed science and beyond the comprehension of a lay person.

debbs77 · 06/10/2021 09:38

My 4 teens will not be having it yet.

That isn't a no forever, just not yet. We did all catch covid, so some immunity there, plus they aren't around vulnerable relatives who we need to worry about (the adults are vaccinated anyway).

Original poster
Florence282 · 06/10/2021 09:38

SprayedWithDettol I do have a degree in Biology and I work as an Advanced therapy medicinal product pharmaceutical technician.

OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 06/10/2021 09:42

My eldest is 13 and we've decided not to for now. That's not the final decision, just not right now.
Funny though how many people are not getting their children vaccinated but if an adult says their not getting vaccinated there's uproar (I've had mine, just an observation).

Original poster
Florence282 · 06/10/2021 09:44

Thatsplentyjack I think that's because so many adults have died from covid whereas children haven't. I also think people appreciate that it's not an easy decision when it's your child rather than yourself.

OP posts:
Belladonna12 · 06/10/2021 09:45

@Florence282

Belladonna12 yes we did. This is where everyone's own experiences will differ and affect their opinion. I don't know any child who has been very poorly with it (thankfully!). If I knew of DC who had struggled with it I may well feel quite differently.
But I bet you don't know anyone who has been very poorly after having the vaccine either. It just seems bizarre to worry about the long term effects of a vaccine when there is no reason to think it would cause a long term effect. Don't you think it's far more likely that Covid will have a long-term impact whether a not symptoms appear mild at the time?
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