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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would let a 16 year old leave school?

104 replies

Sillawithans · 05/10/2021 21:54

Obviously it's better if he stays in school but he absolutely hates, hates, hates it.

Would you consider letting him leave school?

He's 16 so can actually leave if he wants to but he'd walk away with no qualifications whatsoever?

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/10/2021 21:56

No gcses? What is his plan? He needs to be in education or training of some sort until 18. If he is still year 11 he cannot leave until end June next year.

clary · 05/10/2021 21:57

Do you mean he's in Yr 11?

I would not recommend him leaving tbh. Can you discuss with him that you are talking about another 7 months in reality?

Could you negotiate with school to cut his GCSEs to a minimum of, say, maths, English lang, science and maybe a couple of others?

Is there some SEN at play here, or why does he hate it? If he refuses school, could you access tutors through the LA to support him to take some exams?

Smartiepants79 · 05/10/2021 21:59

Isn’t he supposed to be in some sort of education and training til 18? What would be so instead?
Lie around in bed playing PlayStation all day? Then no.
Find an apprenticeship or a job? Then yes, if that was going to suit him better.
It’s all about what the plan would be.

cloudtree · 05/10/2021 21:59

are you in england?

Littlepaws18 · 05/10/2021 22:00

@Sillawithans

Obviously it's better if he stays in school but he absolutely hates, hates, hates it.

Would you consider letting him leave school?

He's 16 so can actually leave if he wants to but he'd walk away with no qualifications whatsoever?

He can't leave until he is 18. He needs to be in college, apprenticeship or training. Leaving now will seal his fate in low paid, low skilled jobs or benefits for the rest of his life. Which is why the law changed to 18.
Smartiepants79 · 05/10/2021 22:01

And without any GCSE’s I don’t think he’d find himself with many options in life.
I think all jobs require some basic maths and literacy qualifications.

GermioneHranger · 05/10/2021 22:02

Is there anything your DS enjoys? Is there a trade or apprenticeship he fancies? Traditional learning isn't for everyone and he could be successful if there is another route he wants to go down!

I think you would be U to let him leave without a plan!

ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2021 22:03

If he's year 11 he can't leave if he wants to - not unless you want a fine and he wants no qualifications

if he's 16+ then he can but he shouldn;t if he doesn;t have at least 5 GCSE's including maths and English

What does he WANT to do - now and long term - he may well need to continue his education but that can be via an apprenticeship or college

But if he's year 11 my god he needs to stay!

Original poster
Sillawithans · 05/10/2021 22:04

He's 16, just turned 16 in June and he's in year 9.

He is from a different country, started school here I think 2 years late. Not sure why.

We are not in UK.

Plan is he would get a job or a place on a youth training scheme.

He's a very pleasant boy, gives no trouble, just hates school. Not a bit academic, very good with his hands and very bright.

He thinks school is pointless, hates the teachers and the silly rules. I must admit I agree with him about some of the rules but would never let him know this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillawithans · 05/10/2021 22:06

@Littlepaws18 I have a pain in my face explaining that he would end up in low paid jobs but at 16 he can't see further than next week.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2021 22:06

he's be mad to leave with no qualification and you'd be mad to let him - the long term impact will be awful

ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2021 22:06

[quote Sillawithans]@Littlepaws18 I have a pain in my face explaining that he would end up in low paid jobs but at 16 he can't see further than next week.[/quote]
what is his long term career goal?

spotcheck · 05/10/2021 22:07

Y11?

It would be over my dead body.

Honestly- it is so, so much harder to get qualifications when you are older.
The need for qualifications pop up everywhere.

OP
What is he planning on doing? What kind of life does he want to have?

ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2021 22:08

life is full of silly rules - so is working life - is he going to leave jobs because he hates people or doesn't like the rules - maybe he needs to knuckle down

also if he's your child why don;t you know why he started school 2 years late?

MushMonster · 05/10/2021 22:09

You must be on education till 18, in England. If not school, apprenticeship or similar, must be within the group considered education.
But, in the rest of UK, it looks like you can still leave at 16.

What do you intend him to do? Does he have an alternative to school that he likes?
Also, not sure you can actually leave without GCSEs? He may regret this later on in life. As he cannot leave till the end of the year (I think?), why not going to the exams, and then leaving to do what he wants?

Littlepaws18 · 05/10/2021 22:10

Ignore my last post! If you aren't in the UK, it doesn't apply.

However think seriously about giving him this option. Education is the passport to most stable, secure, good jobs. Yes there are some who don't fit that mould and do well, but this takes a different type of person. Someone with resilience, resolve, tenacity, intelligence, drive, highest expectations to work against the tide to achieve. Does your son have those qualities? Does he have a passion for something? Does he have initiative?

If he doesn't then he will likely end up in a low skilled, low paid job. Which is absolutely fine if that is his ambition, but it isn't an easy life living on little. It's not something I'd advocate for my children.

Original poster
Sillawithans · 05/10/2021 22:10

We are in Ireland, sorry, should've mentioned that.

Absolutely will not be lazing around on his PlayStation all day, not under my roof.

To be fair, he's not on it much anyway, rarely in fact.

I was thinking to let him go to work with his dad when he has a week off school end of this month. His dad works long hours outside and it's freezing here now. I'd pay him minimum wage for his age and at the end of the week take money off him for rent, food, bills etc and show him the reality of a low paid job having left school with no qualifications.

I'm desperate for him to stay in school.

OP posts:
cloudtree · 05/10/2021 22:12

It’s very difficult to say without knowing which country you’re in. There will be some places in the world where leaving school at 16 with no formal qualifications is far more common than in the uk (where it isn’t permitted to leave education at that age in England)

ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2021 22:13

You must be on education till 18, in England. If not school, apprenticeship or similar, must be within the group considered education not legally - they can't be forced!

BluebellsGreenbells · 05/10/2021 22:13

Can you speak to a careers advisor and they can talk about another pathway?

Can he sit GCSE maths and English via online learning or college?

Can he consider a college coarse? Some are equal to GCSEs -

Original poster
Sillawithans · 05/10/2021 22:14

@ghostyslovesheets he's not my biological child, I'm his guardian. I've been in his life since he was 9. When he first came into my life I was absolutely appalled at the level of basic Maths and English he couldn't do, called a meeting with his school to get him to where he should've been but he's just never caught up. So frustrating.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2021 22:16

Will he get his Junior Cert at least? Doesn't he legally have to complete 3 years of secondary?

Are there loads of well paid job where you are for people with no qualifications - in the UK Maths and English is usually required for most trade qualifications - especially past GCSE level

MushMonster · 05/10/2021 22:17

I see you are in a different country!
If he prefers practical things, then there would be colleges he can attend?
I am from Spain. Around 16 was the age where wewent to an academic secondary or a trades one. Depending of what you wanted. In the trades one they had lots of subjects to choose from, and then they had to go into specialities, in other colleges.
To be honest, it suited some people better to learn how to melt and fold metal than the Middle Ages history. And then they became electricians, plumbers, heating engineers, builders, and so on, if they wanted to get into the next college.
You cannot really say that trades get less money than university graduates jobs these days.
Which alternatives are there to school? Will he get a full qualification? Because whatever you do in these times, you do need a piece of paper saying you are qualified!

ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2021 22:17

[quote Sillawithans]@ghostyslovesheets he's not my biological child, I'm his guardian. I've been in his life since he was 9. When he first came into my life I was absolutely appalled at the level of basic Maths and English he couldn't do, called a meeting with his school to get him to where he should've been but he's just never caught up. So frustrating.[/quote]
Got you - I'd have a good meeting with the school and discuss how they can support you - also you REALLY need to identify what his career ideas and aspirations ARE

XenoBitch · 05/10/2021 22:18

What will he do instead?
I don't agree with posters saying his life is over if he does not get his GCSEs now. You can get them at any time. There are lots of options out there for people who did not finish school for whatever reason.