Over reaction or not ? Nasty husband

[Brighton5555]

Hi

Feeling down this morning . My husband for the last couple of months has been setting up a brand new business and I’ve been there doing everything and anything to help including taking care of social media advertising, doing market research, helping him with 50% of the additional deposit he needed and so on….

Any woman will understand the bore of also hearing about work constant any time I’m around him but I’ve pushed through due to
Being always told how this is a family business and for us all.

Last night he decides he’s opening today not giving much notice for things and he came home telling me how he employed a female delivery driver … we had agreed that we would discuss about who he employed and I do have jealousy issues not that that’s okay it’s shit and I’m trying to work on myself

However when I pointed that out he started shouting and said ‘ I can do what I want it’s got nothing to do with you , you don’t have a say it’s buisness’

Clearly not a family one . I was really hurt because I’ve supported him every step of the way and it will impact on family life going forward due to location and hours. He’s made me feel like this is all for him

Am I being a child ?

I stormed off calling him the c word he called me it back and I slept on the sofa

Too many women shaming other women on here.

Nonsense. Women don't have to agree with someone just because neither of them have a penis.

How is it a family business if you only own half of it? It sounds like you have bigger problems than a female delivery driver. The business isn’t even open yet and already the other partner isn’t pulling his weight. He’s going to let you do all the work and bleed you dry. Honestly he should be an investor not a partner, this is a disaster waiting to happen. My Dad had a useless partner like this and when he decided he’d had enough he burned the business down to get his investment back from the insurance.

Jealous of him employing a female driver? Yes work on yourself OP, trust is clearly an issue here by the sounds of it.

When it comes down to it, this just sounds like a toxic, unhealthy and dysfunctional marriage.

You are jealous to the point it's worrying, not wanting him to (or I guess trusting him to) hire women. If you were a man who wouldn't let a female partner work with others men, people would be quicker to label this behaviour controlling and abusive.

You name call and sulk, also abusive behaviour.

He doesn't see you as an equal teammate or partner unless he wants you to help, then he wants you to put in equal effort but not have equal security financially.

Isn't life too short for a relationship like this? Are there kids in the house having to live with this dynamic? How incredibly damaging for them if so.

Two very separate things here.

One, you need to protect your financial and other contributions to the business.

Two, you need to really think about sorting your MH if you'd prefer your partner to discriminate against another woman in employment. That's dreadful. And don't call him a cunt.

It's a shitty situation.

I feel so sorry for you OP. You have jealousy issues and everyone is shaming you for that. It's good that you can see this. I would have felt the same about my DH having a female employee a few years ago when me and DH just got together but after we've been married and have a house together I feel much more secure.

Do you feel insecure in your relationship?

You put in 50% of the deposit to start this business, you have been working and doing all the advertising/admin for this business and you are not paid nor are you named anywhere on this business.

I'd not be at all concerned about the driver in this instance, I'd be more worried you're never seeing that money or time and skills investment back.