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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kate Middleton is a role model for me?

519 replies

BlueBookBag · 03/10/2021 20:21

I like the way she looks, so pretty and stylish but classic and simple at the same time.

Slim but toned and athletic figure, meanwhile I could lose a few kg.

Her personality seems refined and elegant, you will never catch her sharing controversial opinions or offending views.

She seems to be a supportive wife and mother

Seems overall to live such an elegant life.

AIBU? To want to be more like Kate and see her as a role model?

OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 04/10/2021 10:47

@kierenthecommunity

But he's not just any 'rich man' he's a literal prince. Kate really pulled it off

Dunno, if anything I think Pippa has bagged herself the better deal. A squillionaire husband, a more than comfortable life and not having to deal with all that royal family bollocks?

Definitely. I know which one I’d pick.
Wineandroses3 · 04/10/2021 10:53

@Cryalot2

To me she is better than Meg. But I neither know her nor have any desire to be like her. She wasted her education, someone else could have used her place to get a good job whereas she bedded a prince. I admire people who have by their own hard work achieved something . She has no worries about anything , never had, doesn't know what hardships are. All she does is wear expensive designer clothes and jewellery. As for being a mother, she never had to lift a finger. I guess I never put celebs or anyone on pedestals .
She bedded a prince? You mean she married one? Would any ever say of a man “he bedded a princess” - hardly. She has made her own choices and that’s ok, why slag her off with remarks like “she bedded a prince” so outdated and derogatory.
Cadent · 04/10/2021 10:54

@mustlovegin

What about young men? Why do you not have expectations for them to be pristine

I like men who are respectful, poised and polished too. I would rather not be around men who are aggressive and antagonistic either.

What an odd question to ask

You’re avoiding the word pristine for men. Why?
buttermutt · 04/10/2021 10:55

I like men who are respectful, poised and polished too. I would rather not be around men who are aggressive and antagonistic either.

Surely there is a middle ground?

ChurchofLatterDayPaints · 04/10/2021 11:12

Haven't rtft so apologies if mentioned upthread, but why would you idolise a woman who allows her 5yo to be indoctrinated into the royal cult of killing for fun?

She had to pretend to love shooting herself, to bag Wills and the Lifestyle. What an absolute icon of personal integrity.

(George is 7 in this article but apparently not his first grouse shoot).
www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a33896388/prince-george-kate-middleton-prince-william-grouse-hunting-first-time/

Roussette · 04/10/2021 11:13

just looking at my DH now and seeing if I can see a glimmer of poise or polish. Nope

Personally I prefer someone who is kind, generous and giving. Sod the poise and polish

knittingaddict · 04/10/2021 11:17

@buttermutt

I like men who are respectful, poised and polished too. I would rather not be around men who are aggressive and antagonistic either.

Surely there is a middle ground?

I agree. It isn't either just those two extremes.

"Poised and polished" says to me that they lack a sense of how to have fun and that they are a bit cold. It's definitely not what I want in the men or women around me. It's really hard to get to know people who put on a blank, bland persona.

I am happy that my adult children are truly themselves in all their slightly quirky loveliness. Being respectful goes without saying, as long as it's not inappropriately deferential. Sometimes women need to speak up for themselves and that's hard enough sometimes without them being condemned as being "unladylike" for it.

knittingaddict · 04/10/2021 11:18

You’re avoiding the word pristine for men. Why?

Good point Cadent.

puffyisgood · 04/10/2021 11:18

She's good looking and married a very rich [albeit neither talented nor hardworking] man. Popped out an heir and a couple of spares. Never had a career or accomplishments to speak of.

Turns a blind eye to his infidelities and whatnot, it goes with the territory of being the Princess of Wales [in waiting] and the compensations, if you like that sort of thing, are plenty.

Is she a much of a role model? Not to me, but hey.

madisonbridges · 04/10/2021 11:30

I think she comes across as a lovely person who has to be always engaged and on point. She has to watch everything she says andshe has had to put up with daily criticism about herself, and quite vitriolic criticism about her much loved parents, and never say a word. The day after journalists published naked pictures of her, she had to go out and shake hands with people and not show she was perturbed. That takes such strength of character that many other peoole wouldn't have.
She is in a strange position that the older she gets, the more she'll have to work so I don't blame her for enjoying her younger years if she's still going to be toiling away in her 90s.
I really like her and I'd love to have her inner strength.

postingfortraffichere · 04/10/2021 11:31

@puffyisgood is it really true he had an affair? How do you know this?

mustlovegin · 04/10/2021 11:38

You’re avoiding the word pristine for men. Why?

Pristine rather than smelly, unwashed and unkempt? Yes, I'd prefer a pristine man also. I don't understand why these words seem so outrageous to some

kind, generous and giving

Also a pristine, polished man (or woman) can be kind and generous also. They are not mutually exclusive

knittingaddict · 04/10/2021 11:43

Pristine also means spotless, unspoilt, perfect, untouched, unblemished. I very loaded word to use about women and one that you didn't apply to men in your post mustlovegin.

Roussette · 04/10/2021 11:55

Pristine rather than smelly, unwashed and unkempt?

Ahh... my DH is pristine then! Must tell him, he'll be made up!

Also a pristine, polished man (or woman) can be kind and generous also. They are not mutually exclusive

Yes, but those qualities weren't mentioned by you, so obviously are pretty low down your order of priorities

MissJeanBrodiesprime · 04/10/2021 12:09

Kate Middleton appears elegant and poised, comes across through the media as grounded, pleasant, easy to talk to, very interested in people she is talking to etc etc. However, this is an image through the media, we really don’t know what she or any of the royals or any celebs for that matter are really like because we only see them through the eyes of the media. We will never know the real them, and therefore how on earth can we hold them up as role models for ourselves? They’re ideals but what we see is not the real thing. Best to go out and meet real people who you can admire, like and learn from and offer friendship to.

MancMum2000 · 04/10/2021 12:09

God no, she’s not a role model at all unless your life’s aspiration is to marry rich and totter around smiling and waving. What about Sarah Gilbert, Kamala Harris, Malala Yousifazi? There are plenty of people in the world who are actually doing useful things.

TheKeatingFive · 04/10/2021 12:10

There's a hell of a lot of clear ground between 'pristine' and 'unwashed and smelly' fgs.

julieca · 04/10/2021 12:31

Poised and polished sounds awfully Stepford Wife.

eightlivesdown · 04/10/2021 13:26

Kate is following the Queen's approach - offer no opinions, show no personality in public. Be bland. Royals who have expressed opinions / shown personality sometimes create controversy / criticism, e.g. Prince Philip, younger Princess Anne (older Anne follows the Queen's approach), Prince Andrew, Sarah Ferguson, Megan, Harry.

To what extent bland Kate is the real Kate is hard to say. It is a choice to be neutral in public, and may be the best strategy for a senior royal / the RF; it has served the Queen very well over many decades and she remains highly popular. But I don't regard it as a role model for others to aspire to.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2021 13:30

@MancMum2000

God no, she’s not a role model at all unless your life’s aspiration is to marry rich and totter around smiling and waving. What about Sarah Gilbert, Kamala Harris, Malala Yousifazi? There are plenty of people in the world who are actually doing useful things.
Is nearly 40, fat, working class and 3 kids too late to make this my aspiration? I just want the Nanny and the Housekeeper really
summerhillgang · 04/10/2021 13:31

Robotic

Iamthewombat · 04/10/2021 17:38

But I wish more young women were like her in terms of how she comes across, does her job and is so polished, pristine, well-mannered and never unkempt.

Barbara Cartland (RIP) joins the thread!

Iamthewombat · 04/10/2021 17:40

Is Kate still fagging it? You used to see loads of photos of her sucking on a ciggy. At least that would be a glimmer of personality or independence or resistance to being ‘pristine’ and ‘kempt’.

aquashiv · 04/10/2021 18:10

She is a terribly naice girl.

I never understand how they get so thin.
I would get as fat as fuck with all that lovely food.

julieca · 04/10/2021 18:35

@aquashiv it is their job to be thin.