Obscene voicemail would I BU to report it? TMI warning.

[tinnedpears]

So there were three missed calls on my mobile, and a voicemail.

Picked up the voicemail and much to my surprise was treated to a couple of minutes of some saddo wanking.

Amongst the groaning, he called me by my name and informed me that he's found me on google and that it was 'dead fucking easy' to find me. Said he was hoping I'd return his call. I'm a self employed physio, so someone wanting to find me on google would do so really easily.

He didn't bother withholding his number. Should I report him do you think, or just laugh it off?

I wouldn't post it on gumtree, even though he deserves it! Go through the proper channels and ignore him, no matter how tempting it is and just keep a record of calls, messages, voice mails. I wouldn't give him any attention, even negative.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Report it but wondering why did you listen for two minutes?

when it happened to me I kind of froze in disbelief

Today 21:14 godmum56

MrsSkylerWhite
Report it but wondering why did you listen for two minutes?
when it happened to me I kind of froze in disbelief“

Fair enough.

@Sozzlebozzle

Maybe I’m being sensitive…. I’m a huge animal lover and strongly support animal rights. My boss has a hobby which they talk about and mention several times a day involving killing animals. It really upsets me and they think it’s so bloody wonderful and guffaw indulgently at the fact they do this sport. Constantly dropping it in to conversation in the office. I honestly think they think it makes them seem upwardly mobile. I don’t think I can listen to it anymore as I just strongly disagree with it and think it should be banned. At the very least I don’t need to hear or want to hear about it. Wibu to tell them to put a sock in it?

@Sozzlebozzle you need to start your own thread

Yes I know! Thanks

I had something similar - I had the phone number. The police didn't do anything I still don't understand why

It can be dealt with under the malicious communication act 1998 or protection from harassment act 1997.

Please report it. You can do it by emailing your local Force ( contact details on Website) or live chat from local force 101.

@MagnoliaBeige

I’d report him to the police without a doubt.

immediatedly!

Report. I had similar when looking for nannying work through gumtree. Creep called me and started asking me weird questions about breastfeeding and my breasts. Particularly freaky as I was breastfeeding my DD at the time. I reported to gumtree who were useless, but also called the police. Creep had hidden his number, but used his flat mates phone. She called in a panic wondering what he had been up to so I got the number (well that’s what she said anyway) . Police were able to link number to someone with a history and went to have a chat.

Save the voicemail!
Upload the voicemail to where you know his friends and family will see/ hear it.

Report to his employer and police.

Do not allow this to happen. It's voicemails now but what next?

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria

Agree, report.

How do I stop my son from becoming one of these horrible people?

I worry about this. My son is the sweetest kindest little boy but these disgusting perverted men will have once been sweet little boys to their mums too. All I can think of is to model the kind of behaviour we expect and as they get older discuss relationships and respect/treating women and girls as equals etc in age appropriate ways.

Glad you are reporting it.
Certainly stress the fact he said your name and you were easy to find and that you feel that is a threat to your physical safety.

I expect it's very tempting to put the dirty bastard's number on every porn page you can find saying ring for extreme BDSM. Not that you would or should of course. It's just tempting.

Please do report. Even if you think you are not too badly affected by this: otherwise he will keep on doing this.

“Laugh it off”?! Im frankly shocked that you thought this was even an option. Someone could be in real danger at the hands of someone who would go this far.

Report it but wondering why did you listen for two minutes?
I would have listened to the end so I would know exactly what I'm dealing with. 🤷‍♀️

Report. He threatened you. Creepy bastard.

100% report it. Police and services need to know about every incident like this, it’s a deviant sexual behaviour and concerning. Also not to frighten you but it could escalate if not nipped in the bud.

@arrangeyourface

I’m not knocking the OP here but I don’t really understand why anyone would NOT report this and have to ask if it’s unreasonable to do so.

Because its only a phone call and nothing actually has happened yet. I didn't report an old man for grabbing and stroking my leg on a bus when I was 12/13 I didn't even say stop incase i upset or embarrassed him. I just pretended I didn't notice and even said excuse me when I got off. I didn't report glueing raped by a family member and the only person I ever told (male partner of years) that I think it was rape said women always say its rape. xyz accused zyx of raping her when they were even together and she lost in court so she must be lying. He disagrees with that now but it is the go to "she is lying" or "she is overreacting" or "she thinks so highly of herself, even if he did send a voicemail of himself wanking over her, its just a voicemail she just thinks he's obsessed because she thinks she's so good looking" or something along those lines. possibly even "why does she have her number available online for her job if she doesn't want to receive these types of calls" ffs think before you post.

Because women are repeatedly and consistently dismissed, not believed and called hysterical when they report abusive men.

She has a voicemail as evidence. Who is going to disbelieve that?

Have you googled his number to see if it comes up with anything?
Yes nothing comes up.

Have you googled yours? I’d also be concerned I was easy to find and be trying to find out where this could happen.

Ignore it - I missed that part of your OP! Can you take your mobile off and have a different way of contacting you?

Report this. The more we report shit like this, the more we catch these beasts before they go on and do smt worse. Rapists don’t start off rapists. They bark before they bite. Disgusting.

Er report and get a restraining order on him, name and shame him on social media too

Definitely report. I think this is how some rapists start off... with lesser (but also disgusting) crimes to test barriers and see what they can get away with. It then escalates. Nip this one in the bud before he becomes more of a danger.