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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cheated out of inheritance.

247 replies

Watzzap · 03/10/2021 12:52

Sorry this might be quite long. My late dh, who passed away 10 months ago, had 1 sibling. Both he and sibling had POA for fil. I know fil did not have a Will. Fil was in a Care Home as could not manage at home. Prior to him going into Care my dh and I were first contacts for fil on Community Alarm System and visited him every day. Saying this to show we did help out and have had a lot of input with Fil. We also regularly visited fil in his Care Home.

Fil passed away 6 months ago. As my dh had also died, sil organised funeral and sorted out finances. I did not expect to receive anything from my fil’s estate, but I expected my dcs to receive their DF’s share. However, apparently fil had very little to leave, therefore my dc’s share was only £1k each! When I asked sil what had happened to the rest of fil’s money she said that was all that was left after funeral costs etc.! For background, Sil has solely dealt with fil’s finances for quite a few years, however both she and my dh were named on his main account as had joint POA, until my dh died. I also know sil has withdrawn and hid money in the past, so fil got his Care Home place paid for (needed to be less than £23250). She also took his car and gave it to her son. I also know that fil had numerous Life Insurances etc. My dh was very laid back and just let her get on with things and never said anything about how his ds dealt with fil’s finances.

Fil’s funeral costs would be around £3/4K. It now looks like she has kept all the money to herself from the account she (and my dh, prior to his death) was named on and paid all expenses from his other account, which was solely in his name. Even taking this into consideration, with his other insurances, there should have been a lot more than the £6k she says is all that was left!

Is there anything I can do? As I said, I do not want anything, but feel that my 3 dcs have been cheated out of their inheritance.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 03/10/2021 15:34

@WorraLiberty

I also know sil has withdrawn and hid money in the past, so fil got his Care Home place paid for (needed to be less than £23250). She also took his car and gave it to her son. I also know that fil had numerous Life Insurances etc. My dh was very laid back and just let her get on with things and never said anything about how his ds dealt with fil’s finances.

You knew that and you're only interested in getting involved now because you feel your kids are missing out on money?

Agreed. I'm not sufficiently informed to comment on the legal position but if your late husband ignored your sister in law's dishonesty your reaction to it sounds no better. If you stir this up I hope the local authorities pursue the family for deprivation of assets.
AcrossthePond55 · 03/10/2021 15:36

Honestly, if you want this resolved you'll take all your documentation to a reliable solicitor, lay all the facts (including the fraud) and PAY THEM for their expertise. Client confidentiality should protect you if you're concerned about implication in SiL's fraud.

I'm in the US and used to work in Govt related fraud here so this may not apply in the UK: Failure to report a fraud was not a crime in and of itself, just a moral failure. But benefitting from it and not reporting it was a crime.

There's no other way you're going to find out whether or not your children have a case and if it's worth pursuing. And what effect there may be if at some point the fraud is discovered and your children have received monies from the money that was moved out of FiL's name. Once you have that knowledge you and/or your children can make an informed decision.

BoredZelda · 03/10/2021 15:36

Er, I think it might be best for questions of inheritance to mention if you’re in one of just a few countries that has VERY specific laws

The OP never actually ASKED about whether her children should inherit. People took it upon the self be to argue whether or not they should. OP KNEW her children should inherit. Her question was what happens when others mismanage and hide funds before the inheritance is paid out, effectively leaving her with nothing.

There was no NEED for the OP to mention where she was.

DameAlyson · 03/10/2021 15:37

213luckystars

Sorry now for this stupid question, but if a person doesn’t make a will, what exactly happens?

In the UK there is law governing how property should be divided when someone dies intestate - that is, without a will. Go to www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies and go to the section on dealing with the estate.

ParkheadParadise · 03/10/2021 15:43

I find it strange that your FIL didn't have a will.
When we applied for POA for my mum it's the one thing her lawyer made sure was up to date.

JellyfishandShells · 03/10/2021 15:47

‘

You may not have benefited thus far but, if there is a large sum in the estate that you think your SIL is holding back from your children, it is there precisely because it has not gone on care fees because the council was picking up the bill, due to fraud.

You are wanting your children to benefit from the fraud after the fact.

MurielSpriggs · 03/10/2021 15:47

It sounds like quite a complex piece of fraud, affecting the housing benefit people, the social care people, the estate of your father-in-law and now your darling children. I would say pass what evidence you have over to the police.

Beautiful3 · 03/10/2021 15:47

Because there was no will, technically the grandchildren wouldn't have received anything. So £1,000 each is better than nothing. The money would have solely gone to the living children, so your sil. I would not pursue legal action as your husband was involved in the illegal fiddling and may land you in hot water too. Also it's not worth falling out over.

JustLyra · 03/10/2021 15:49

@Beautiful3

Because there was no will, technically the grandchildren wouldn't have received anything. So £1,000 each is better than nothing. The money would have solely gone to the living children, so your sil. I would not pursue legal action as your husband was involved in the illegal fiddling and may land you in hot water too. Also it's not worth falling out over.
You are incorrect. The children would receive their parents share split equally between them.
JustLyra · 03/10/2021 15:50

The number of people staring as fact that only the living child would inherit if there was no will is quite staggering. Why do people state facts if they don’t actually know?!

Tistheseason17 · 03/10/2021 15:50

I would pass evidence to police as PP suggested.
Your SIL is the one who moved money around and (as long no money came to you or your DH before his death or any time thereafter) they may find other monies and your children may inherit.

Lots of Ifs - plus cash may already be spent. Also, this will have huge family implications so be certain of what outcome you want before acting.

unlikelytobe · 03/10/2021 15:51

I could always dob her in

Well, do you have a relationship (or want one going forward) with your SIL? If not you could try rectifying this 'pilfering' but is it worth if for the sums involved? Maybe appeal to her better nature with some enquiries which make it clear you know what she's been doing and that you'd rather settle matters amicably. What are you hoping for - another couple of thousand for your DC?

However, I suspect she's already hidden/spent the money as she's been at this game for some time! It's also hard to know how much the FIL allowed this to happen.

Ginger1982 · 03/10/2021 15:53

I'm a Scottish solicitor. As others have says, your children should inherit your DH's share. My DF predeceased his own parents and I inherited his share.

Watzzap · 03/10/2021 15:56

@ilovesooty you are correct, you are not sufficiently informed to comment on the legal position.

There is absolutely no evidence of any dishonesty by either myself or my dh, because we were not dishonest. The POA only goes back 3 years to when fil was waiting to go into care. At this stage my dh and sil opened a new current account on my fil’s behalf, with both able to deal with fil’s finances. There had definitely been no money illegally removed from this account prior to my dh’s death The dishonesty of hiding/taking money from fil by my sil was prior to this, therefore my dh is not implicated in any way.

Thank you so much for your ill wishes, please find them returned!

OP posts:
Haffiana · 03/10/2021 15:58

@JustLyra

The number of people staring as fact that only the living child would inherit if there was no will is quite staggering. Why do people state facts if they don’t actually know?!
They read it in this thread and wanted to sound as if they 'knew' it as well. They are often also insanely jealous of anyone who might inherit anything, ever, so want to put their tiny, twisted, shrivelled boot in as well. Most of them will name change afterwards, but not out of shame unfortunately.
DameAlyson · 03/10/2021 16:00

The number of people stating as fact that only the living child would inherit if there was no will is quite staggering. Why do people state facts if they don’t actually know?!

Especially as we're now seven pages in and plenty of people have stated the actual position, with links to reputable websites. Do none of these people RTFT before posting?

TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder · 03/10/2021 16:04

We did not cheat the system, sil did. Yes, I should maybe have reported her, but my dh was very ill for 6 years before he died. He just didn’t want to fall out with his sister, so fell out with me instead, when I said he should do something! Because of his illness, and that it was upsetting him, I kept my mouth shut
To be clear, we have not benefited at all from any money she may have defrauded. I have just ensured that I have the evidence to show he was not implicated in any of her illegal activities, as I honestly thought these would have been found out!
But he is implicated though, by virtue of the fact he knew his sister was defrauding their father and doing nothing about it. Being an attorney is a serious matter, mismanagement has legal consequences. Did they act jointly or jointly and severally? Not that it matters, you have said he knew what she was doing. I’m not sure how far you would be liable/responsible as you weren’t an attorney, but you’ve said you did know about the fraud. Sounds like anything you do now will be opening a can of worms.

LookAtMoiPloise · 03/10/2021 16:05

[quote Cailleach1]@Watzzap, condolences. Your family has been under a lot of stress. Only you can know if you want to do something. Can you get a free consultation with a solicitor, I wonder? If you can establish the simple principle that your children were entitled to your late husband's share, then you'd have that for sure.[/quote]
Very low. Especially as you all knew about it and did nothing back then.

TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder · 03/10/2021 16:05

X posted with you OP.
So he wasn’t an attorney at the time of the fraud? Though he did know of it?

Helenmumoftw0 · 03/10/2021 16:06

If there is no will your children have no right to his money, who ever is next of kin gets it all! Very shitty of her to take it and run but unfortunately thats life!

My nan made a will so that if one of her children passed before her their half went to the other sibling! My uncle didn't speak to her for a good 9 months after that. family shouldn't fall out over money that isn't theres to argue over 😔

LookAtMoiPloise · 03/10/2021 16:08

Sorry. Meant to quote: Pretty low to dob her in now that it won't come back on you/your family

Lotusmonster · 03/10/2021 16:09

Honestly OP, there’s a lot of smoke and mirrors in your story, there really is. A lot of blind eyes being turned as and when it suited. Dying intestate is rarely a great outcome.

DameAlyson · 03/10/2021 16:10

If there is no will your children have no right to his money, who ever is next of kin gets it all! Very shitty of her to take it and run but unfortunately thats life!

RTFT! FGS!

ParkheadParadise · 03/10/2021 16:11

I suspect the sil and your dh decided to get rid of their father's money so it didn't have to go on care home fees and splitting it after fill passed away.
Now your dh has died, sil is keeping the money.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 03/10/2021 16:12

If I were you id take everything to a solicitor and find the best way to inform the police and hopefully they will investigate this fraud.