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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it’s unfair single-sex schools aren’t an option for many (perhaps even most)?

408 replies

patienceandprudence · 02/10/2021 22:59

I have one single sex state school (and in fact there is only one private) in my county. It is in the county town, which we are not in the catchment for. It would take an hour and half to get to by public transport anyway.

Since it has been proven many times over that girls do better in single sex schools, why on earth aren’t there more options for those of us not in 11+ counties? I think it’s a great shame, and it doesn’t seem to be a thing that’s even being thought about.

OP posts:
OverTheRubicon · 03/10/2021 08:15

So we solve the issue with boys behaving badly by putting them all in a pen together and teaching them that girls are a totally separate species? Hmm

Actually there is research that boys also perform better in single sex environments.

Doesn't help our society in the long term, to teach children that you can't learn with the other sex. Nor does it necessarily help children who don't confirm to gender stereotypes.

Poppitt58 · 03/10/2021 08:17

Where does the data come from for single sex schools?

In my experience, most single sex schools are either Grammar schools or independent. I can’t see how higher academic achievement can be attributed solely to the segregation of girls, when the majority of girls schools are selective in their intakes.

flowerycurtain · 03/10/2021 08:18

Anyone else getting adverts for Bedford Girls school on this thread]Grin

Fwiw I went to a girls school and it was amazing at Stem etc 20 years ago. We were linked with a local boys school so had the best of both worlds. Joint plays, fetes etc but single sex for academia.

I'd send my daughter single sex busy my son co Ed if I could!

Theeyeballsinthesky · 03/10/2021 08:18

I went to a single sex school. I find it utterly bizzare that ppl think that means I lived in some sort of nunnery and never interacted with boys at all. Outside of school my friendship group was completely mixed & of course I had boy friends. I would never have wanted to be taught in a mixed school tjough

Nuffaluff · 03/10/2021 08:20

Everyone I know who went to all girls schools had a miserable time living as a small fish in a pond of larger, bitchy fish who held grudges.
Yes, it was horrible.

MakingM · 03/10/2021 08:20

Yes, single sex schools should be available for people who want to choose them.

It won’t happen though because the drive is all towards everyone having exactly the same provision regardless of what might actually deliver the educational experience best suited to them. This approach seems to be disadvantaging some boys as much as some girls tbh.

StripeyDeckchair · 03/10/2021 08:20

It is our responsibility as parents to bring up our children to be respectful of each other & to treat people equally (ie no hemophilia, racism, sexism etc)
How can that be put into practice in an artificial single sex environment?

School is not just about academic results its about the social and emotional aspects of growing up into adulthood therefore the school beeds to reflect society not isolate young women & young men from each other.

NightIbble · 03/10/2021 08:22

Wow completely different here in the SE, most of the secondary schools near me are single sex. I would prefer my son to go to a mixed school but the only one near me has a bad rep. He's only 4 though so it may change.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 03/10/2021 08:24

I think that if my DS had gone to a single-sex school, he wouldn't have had a friendship group. He made a good choice when he swapped his first and second choices for secondary school.

NightIbble · 03/10/2021 08:26

He's going to have to interact with women in the adult world so think that learning to work with them at school would be helpful.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 03/10/2021 08:27

When I left my single sex school to go to university I found it baffling that boys expected that I would shut up and let them talk over me in tutorials and lectures. Nope!!

I also did research in a mixed sex school. The low level every day sexual harassment of girls was eye opening & horrifying. From pinging bra straps, comments on girls breasts, “you on the blob today”?to Lifting up their skirts with rulers, and casually referring to them as slag. Was it all the boys no? No. But it was enough boys to ensure girls knew how they were principally regarded

Pottedpalm · 03/10/2021 08:28

I loved my single sex school and would have happily sent DD to one. However, I don’t think her twin, DS, would have thrived in an all boys’ school, and they wanted to stay together so we chose a mixed school.

Muttly · 03/10/2021 08:28

I live in Ireland and we have an awful lot of single sex education here. There are pros and cons to that set up. My daughters are very strong in technical type subjects and the girls school don’t have them at all. This has meant that I have had to get one of my daughters a teacher for a subject outside of school. Thankfully they are teaching physics in the school this year, because of the low uptake they didn’t have it the previous years. The system is different in that students typically do 7 subjects for their A level equivalent but the subject offerings are very definitely broken down on gender lines in single sex schools. It really reinforces gender norms.

MakingM · 03/10/2021 08:31

@OverTheRubicon

So we solve the issue with boys behaving badly by putting them all in a pen together and teaching them that girls are a totally separate species? Hmm

Actually there is research that boys also perform better in single sex environments.

Doesn't help our society in the long term, to teach children that you can't learn with the other sex. Nor does it necessarily help children who don't confirm to gender stereotypes.

The law requires that we provide children with an education that meets their needs, not our desires for social engineering.

Besides, co-ed comps have been around for decades. Have you witnessed any improvement in the way boys are treating girls? I’d say the opposite has happened.

There is also plenty of evidence that some boys would benefit from a learning environment that was more focused on their needs too - more physically active, etc.

What you seem to be saying here is that it is undesirable for parents to have the choice of same sex schools because it might make someone who is undetermined about their gender uncomfortable. That’s not really an argument because no one is suggesting that ALL schools become single sex.

parrotonmyshoulder · 03/10/2021 08:32

@Ashville5

I do think numbers of pupils in each school under CAHMs should be made public.

I think it’s the numbers on the waiting list, or not even as far as the waiting list, just sitting on the referral pile, that would tell us more!
However, some schools will be doing much better than others at prevention, early intervention and support than others. Just referring to CAMHS isn’t enough! Ever!

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 08:33

@Notdoingthis

So the arguments are results and sexual harrassment? If those are your top priorities I guess. But I firmly believe, as many have said, segregation is an alternative to education and formation on sexual harassment. I went to co ed, and my experiences with mixing with boys were overwhelmingly positive. I still have great friendships with wonderful boys and girls from my school days. I could never deny that for my children. We must address the sexual harassment problem, but not by segregation.
Its not being addressed though is it?

You can see on here - "My son isn't like that'. How can "we" address it when people refuse to believe their son may be capable of doing ir?

The schools deny it and when it is proved there have been cases where the girls sill have to be in the same class as the abuser.

The educational authorities do fuck all about it.

Why are girls not allowed to learn to study in peace?

EmeraldShamrock · 03/10/2021 08:35

I'm another who would never send DD to a single sex school.
I went to a mixed, even when I was a young teenager the single sex schools were tough unless you were popular.

Lily78123 · 03/10/2021 08:36

Should we go a step further and make it easier to go through all your life in a single sex setting? Start with a school, then Uni, then workplaces should be separate, shops, hospitals, restaurants.
I think single sex education deprives students of social skills needed later in life.

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 08:36

@Pottedpalm

I loved my single sex school and would have happily sent DD to one. However, I don’t think her twin, DS, would have thrived in an all boys’ school, and they wanted to stay together so we chose a mixed school.
I have a friend who was in exactly the same situation. However she sent the girl to an all girls school and the boy to a co ed. She felt it would give them more independence and individuality.
Ashville5 · 03/10/2021 08:37

Single sex schools make misogyny, racism and homophobia worse. Trust me.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 03/10/2021 08:38

@TableFlowerss

Single sex schools? Are you winding me up? The way things are going these days, they will be a thing of the past very soon. Women/girls allowed their own space?…. Nahhh won’t be allowed soon 🙄
Oh hooray, trans bashing. I'm out.
Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 08:39

@Lily78123

Should we go a step further and make it easier to go through all your life in a single sex setting? Start with a school, then Uni, then workplaces should be separate, shops, hospitals, restaurants. I think single sex education deprives students of social skills needed later in life.
You might think that but in real life children who go to single sex schools do see boys out of school. Unless your parents are weird and completely ban you from seeing them out of school too.

We also have single sex prisons and single sex hospital wards which are absolutely essential to womens safety but sadly even those spaces are being encroached my men declaring they have magically changed sex.

Regarding restaurants - gosh how would we ever get out meals bought for us..Wink

user1471604848 · 03/10/2021 08:40

I'm Irish, where it's the norm for secondary schools to be single-sex. (generally with a boys school nearby, that the girls school is twinned with).

I loved my single sex school. I think it made it easier to just be able to focus on work, and not have to think about a guy you fancied being in your class.
Unusually, for A-level equivalent, we had boys come to our school for maths and we went there for physics, since there weren't enough pupils.

We still had plenty of opportunities to meet boys - all our brothers/cousins went to the local boys schools, so we'd meet them at house parties / junior discos etc.

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 08:41

@Ashville5

Single sex schools make misogyny, racism and homophobia worse. Trust me.
What are you talking about? Can you give some examples?
Enko · 03/10/2021 08:42

I live in a grammar school area. Our town has 6 secondary schools 3 Grammar (2 boys 1 girls) 2 of those super selective schools 2 are church schools co ed and 1 coed school.

The school that outperforms them all is the C of E coed school. Gets better results for boys and girls than the 2 super selective and the other boys grammar does.

I think we need to look at how we deliver education to our children teach both our sons and daughters about how to Foster respect and how-to work together.

I find it incredibly sad to read so quickly in the post that girls would be safer from sexual assault. What we need to do is educate both our sons and daughters and work towards making a future where both our sons and daughters are safe and thriving.

I dont personally think single sex schools wil support this. I grew up in Scandinavia so my schooling experience was very different to my children's British experience. The school we loved the most was the coed school.