To think it’s unfair single-sex schools aren’t an option for many (perhaps even most)?

[patienceandprudence]

I have one single sex state school (and in fact there is only one private) in my county. It is in the county town, which we are not in the catchment for. It would take an hour and half to get to by public transport anyway.

Since it has been proven many times over that girls do better in single sex schools, why on earth aren’t there more options for those of us not in 11+ counties? I think it’s a great shame, and it doesn’t seem to be a thing that’s even being thought about.

I dont think segregating girls is the answer no, there needs to be much tougher stances from schools and police. I dont have sons but I certainly dont assume my girls being in a classroom with boys means they will be raped? I've known friends who went to single sex girls schools and were attacked by other girls, not sexually but physically and emotionally bullied.

I went to an all girls school and wouldn't send any child of mine to a single sex school

@WoodchipNightmares as someone with experience what do you not agree with about single sex schools? I'm interested to know

But it's not just about being assaulted- it's all the other sexist micro aggressions that girls face from boys at school- being shown porn (or hearing boys talk about it), being 'rated', talked about sexually, laughed at or humiliated for being on their period, judged for what they wear or how popular they are with the boys, being talked over etc.
All the little things that must make a school day exhausting.

@SheldontheWonderSchlong

But it's not just about being assaulted- it's all the other sexist micro aggressions that girls face from boys at school- being shown porn (or hearing boys talk about it), being 'rated', talked about sexually, laughed at or humiliated for being on their period, judged for what they wear or how popular they are with the boys, being talked over etc. All the little things that must make a school day exhausting.

Yes, this. Going to a female only school went a long way in preventing accepting all of this being normalised, for me. I don't think it should be mandatory but I do think it can be very positive.

@SheldontheWonderSchlong

But it's not just about being assaulted- it's all the other sexist micro aggressions that girls face from boys at school- being shown porn (or hearing boys talk about it), being 'rated', talked about sexually, laughed at or humiliated for being on their period, judged for what they wear or how popular they are with the boys, being talked over etc. All the little things that must make a school day exhausting.

WTAF, is this your DD experiencing all of this or are you creating these harmful generalisations?

How would you feel if boys were generalising all of the 'negatives' about girls?

You are sounding as thought you think girls are angelic people that do no wrong:

I have news for you - girls can also create problems at schools.

I honestly think your perspective is so so harmful and sad.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Evesgarden that isn't what she said though and we only know what is reported
When a girl grabs a boys bum etc that would often be brushed off by a boy
When a girl hit my son for no reason , he was basically told to suck it up as hes a boy shes a girl
If i could go back I would now encourage him to file an assault charge instead of allowing it to be brushed over as if it had been the other way round .
Yes boys / men commit more crimes but from what I have seen at the schools , the girls can be quite nasty in some cases too[/quote]
@worriedatthemoment you've got to come away from the 'but girls can be nasty too'. or ' girls grab boys bums' . Its the boys that are sexually assaulting girls in school. More than 8000 allegations have been made on the "every one is invited' website.

I would rather my dd have to deal with bullying off a girl in school than my daughter being sexually assaulted in school.

And yes you should have followed it up with report of assault. If you didn't that's on you not me

Children abusing other children school rose 71% between 2013 and 2017, up from 4,603 to 7,866. In that time, there were 2,625 reported peer-on-peer sexual assaults on school premises, 225 of which were rapes. Meanwhile, reports of sexual offences by children aged 10 and under have more than doubled, from 204 in 2014 to 456 in 2017. This was few years ago so its probably higher now if its followed the trajectory.

@postingfortraffichere

You are very defensive about people acknowledging the sexism in society that is well known to exist by now. Why is that? It shouldn't come as a shock to you that people would acknowledge that.

@aSofaNearYou I will repeat myself again.

I'm not defensive about people highlighting the issue. I agree with that.

What I am appalled by is how people are now sayingg boys are to blame for encouraging how popular people are in school and other behaviours which boys AND girls are responsible for.

I'm also appalled that people think single sex schools is a solution to rape in schools.

@aSofaNearYou a poster has associated this with only boys;

judged for what they wear or how popular they are with the boys, being talked over etc.

it's madness

She's basically vilifying boys to the point where is weird.

@Evesgarden and some of those reports will be about girls too
You need to come away from the all boys are like this as well and also don't minimise what bulking can do to someone
See from what I hear from girls and my dc in their school , these things didn't happen on large scale and boys pulled others at so maybe my experience isn't the same , maybe some schools / areas have it better
I would say bullying was the big issue in my dc school and drugs second
There was talk of unisex toilets and lots if boys brought up they wouldn't feel comfortable using the same toilets as girls as they felt it was iinappropriate , so maybe we just lucky where we are
Maybe we should be looking at why kids are behaving more like this ?
We can only really go on reported crimes in any case not whats reported on sites
So therefore yes we should be encouraging reporting from all
I didn't report my sons assualt as if it had been boy on boy I wouldn't of reported as a one off as kids have fights , I gave school chance to sort it and also told him if it happens again hit her back and defend yourself as you would a boy ( he has beeb brought up men don't hit women)
I believe in maybe giving kids a benefit if the doubt in these circumstances ( one slap) rather than a criminal record

[quote postingfortraffichere]@aSofaNearYou I will repeat myself again.

I'm not defensive about people highlighting the issue. I agree with that.

What I am appalled by is how people are now sayingg boys are to blame for encouraging how popular people are in school and other behaviours which boys AND girls are responsible for.

I'm also appalled that people think single sex schools is a solution to rape in schools. [/quote]
... your last post and this one very clearly show that you feel defensive about holding boys accountable for the sexit issues that girl's experience. Girls and boys are not equally responsible for sexism. It's foolhardy to be this outraged by people pointing that out.

Not every man is a violent sexual predator, just like not even woman is sweet and caring. I wouldn't want single sex education for either of my DC, it doesn't offer them the same social environment.

Jesus, do we really have to begin everything with Not All Boys Are Like That and Girls Do It Too?
Happy now?

The discussion about curriculum and sports is really not my experience of the local girls schools in my area. At the co-eds the girls do netball, hockey and rounders, the boys do rugby, football and cricket. Just like when I was at school. At the girls’ schools they do netball and hockey but they also do basketball, rugby and football. It was much broader.

They all have the same emphasis on maths, science, and computing. No difference in curriculum offer between them. And the girls’ schools all have co-ed sixth forms, I think because a lot of the co-eds don’t so there has to be somewhere for kids to go.

@SheldontheWonderSchlong

Jesus, do we really have to begin everything with Not All Boys Are Like That and Girls Do It Too? Happy now?

Quite.

@TheOneWithTwoParties at my sons mixed school the girls had more choice
They could play football on main team as well as a separate girls team, they also had hockey , netball , rugby , rounders and cricket
Boys had rugby , football and cricket
The last 2 of which girls could join but boys were not allowed to join rounders or hockey
All schools are different on what they offer, some better than others

@aSofaNearYou that isn't what the poster said at all
All the girls i know care more about what other girls think of there clothes / hair than the boys -
Infact recently at my ds birthday a girl attended in a very short dress , it was middle age relatives who had a problem with her dress rather than any of the boys who commented , many of the middle age ones said it was inappropriate, too short etc and when my ds said why ? Its her body her dress , if she feels good in it why do you care ? They didn't have an answer

[quote worriedatthemoment]@over2021 please don't assume out sons will be either or that your daughters will be perfect[/quote]
Christ on a bike, what hope do women have when even women don't believe men (who used to be boys, all with mothers who I'm sure would say their darling boy wouldn't do x y and z) are the problem.

No, my daughters won't be perfect but they also statistically very unlikely to be rapists, murderers or to sexually harass someone either.

@SheldontheWonderSchlong

Jesus, do we really have to begin everything with Not All Boys Are Like That and Girls Do It Too? Happy now?

Yes I think we do as people see it as an personal attack on their sons. No mother wants to believe that their son can be capable of sexual harassment or assault but someones sons are doing it.

Its the same arguments 'not all men rape' but the the difference between assaults on women by men and the assaults on men by women are staggering and can not be used as a valid argument.

@SusannaM i doubt many of the boys are either , realistically
I have teenage nieces and shocked by how some of her friends talk as well at times , much more forward than I would of been at that age

It's fairly common, most boys seem to be watching porn and discussing it. Friend works in a school and is horrified by what she overhears the boys saying.

And your nieces are more forward , what on earth does that mean?

I went to a single sex school and I'm horrified at how different DD's school experience has been to mine.

@over2021 statistically maybe not but there are some and they all seem to be rising, I have a right to not assume my son will be not be a murderer etc as well .
As statistically how many men are rapists , murderers ? I can find if the crimes how many are committed by men , which is high but not the percentage of men

As in is it 20% of all men commit a crime or 10% etc