Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s unfair single-sex schools aren’t an option for many (perhaps even most)?

408 replies

patienceandprudence · 02/10/2021 22:59

I have one single sex state school (and in fact there is only one private) in my county. It is in the county town, which we are not in the catchment for. It would take an hour and half to get to by public transport anyway.

Since it has been proven many times over that girls do better in single sex schools, why on earth aren’t there more options for those of us not in 11+ counties? I think it’s a great shame, and it doesn’t seem to be a thing that’s even being thought about.

OP posts:
WomanIsTaken · 03/10/2021 11:16

PostingForTraffic, are you being wilfully obtuse when asking a PP to define how boys tend to dominate learning environments?
Have you been in a primary or mixed secondary classroom recently?
In my experience as a teacher with over 25 years in a range of settings, I can hand on heart say that boys dominating or attempting to dominate mixed learning environments is endemic. Is that so hard to believe?

Rummikubfan · 03/10/2021 11:18

@postingfortraffichere thank goodness I’m not the only one. Whilst I acknowledge that there can be poor behaviour from boys to suggest that putting girls into a co-Ed school is akin to a lions den is disingenuous to the vast majority of boys who are decent respectful and no more likely to be a threat to the girls in the school than I am. The friendships my daughter has with the boys in her school are of absolute equals. The girls in my sons year were similar and even educationally I think the girls did even better than the boys and are off to top uni’s studying everything from medicine, vet med, biochemistry, architecture and bio medical sciences to psychology and geography. Hardly supporting the stereotypes perpetuated here

Our role as mums of boys, I have both, is to ensure that we continue to drive our boys to see girls as equal and for our girls to know that they are absolutely equal to men. It has never occurred to my daughter that there’s any other way

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 11:18

@funinthesun19

Yet wanting our dds to go in to education in a single sex space send people in to a froth despite the alarming figures of sexual assaults and harassment in schools - even in primary. The truth is too much to bear for some people so they just deny deny deny and push that schools should be coed so girls can learn how to cope and behave around boys

Look if you want to send your DD to a single sex school that’s fine. I honestly couldn’t give a damn what you choose to do. But you’re not allowed to make that decision for everyone else and you certainly shouldn’t be pushing to have decisions taken away from people.

WTf are you talking about Grin

How am I taking that decision away from any one else? And where have a ever said I would? I couldn't care less what you choose to do either.

However I do believe there should be more choice of single sex schools and I think the uptake would be massive

worriedatthemoment · 03/10/2021 11:20

Mm i know people that went to single sec schools whose daughters suffered horrendous bullying as well , they are not automatically safe

postingfortraffichere · 03/10/2021 11:21

@Whatwouldscullydo

The system is massively underfunded as it is, and to put funding towards building or converting more same sex schools is a poor use of public funding

Translation- as usual women and girls should have to wait til all other more important problems have been solved Hmm

You really think building more same sex schools is the most pressing issue in the education system right now?

Have a word with yourself.

postingfortraffichere · 03/10/2021 11:21

@worriedatthemoment

Mm i know people that went to single sec schools whose daughters suffered horrendous bullying as well , they are not automatically safe
Exactly. Apparently only boys can be vicious bullies according to some posters on this thread
MasterGland · 03/10/2021 11:23

I don't think boys dominate the learning environment. Certain personality types do. I have taught many classes over the years, and there are often 1 or 2 big characters that dominate.

The "problem" with some boys in school, in my opinion, is the same one afflicting some men. Pornography. Until we tackle the pornography issue, little will change.

SheldontheWonderSchlong · 03/10/2021 11:23

Exactly. Apparently only boys can be vicious bullies according to some posters on this thread

Utter nonsense- no one has said that.

jeaux90 · 03/10/2021 11:23

The statistics (also shared on the panorama documentary a couple of week's ago) speak for themselves.

There is a big problem with sexual assaults against girls in mixed secondary schools. 9 out of 10 of the victims are girls. Over 5000 incidents and 500 rapes over the last few years.

Until they fix that issue I would not send my daughter to a mixed secondary school.

She's 12 and goes to a private all girls school about 12 miles away. I'm a single mum so it's a big financial burden but I do the school fees plan and pay monthly.

Yes we need more single sex education.

Whatwouldscullydo · 03/10/2021 11:26

Well posting. There certainly seems to be money to deliberately shit on girls in schools. Are you as angry about wasting money on paying lobby groups to set policies at schools that remove safguarding and being used to build " gender neutral " toilet blocks ? Or is anger saved fir the suggestion that something that benefits girls fir once is provided?

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 11:26

@postingfortraffichere

Exactly. Apparently only boys can be vicious bullies according to some posters on this thread

oh no, girls can be savage. However it tends to be the boys that are sexually harrasing and abusing girls in school - even in primary. You should have a look at the website 'Every one is invited' - because its someones sons that are doing it. Why dont you google the stats for child on child sexual assaults in school...

SusannaM · 03/10/2021 11:26

Unless my daughter was really keen, I'd choose co-ed every time.

I went to a single sex school and thought I would always pick co-ed for my daughter. As it happens I had no choice as there are only mixed comps in our area, but having seen her experience, I wish I could have put her in a single sex school. She's in the sixth form now and just happens to have one class that is accidentally single sex, she says it's wonderful and wishes all her classes were.

worriedatthemoment · 03/10/2021 11:30

@Evesgarden that isn't what she said though and we only know what is reported
When a girl grabs a boys bum etc that would often be brushed off by a boy
When a girl hit my son for no reason , he was basically told to suck it up as hes a boy shes a girl
If i could go back I would now encourage him to file an assault charge instead of allowing it to be brushed over as if it had been the other way round .
Yes boys / men commit more crimes but from what I have seen at the schools , the girls can be quite nasty in some cases too

worriedatthemoment · 03/10/2021 11:31

@over2021 please don't assume out sons will be either or that your daughters will be perfect

meow1989 · 03/10/2021 11:32

I went to a coed school, wouldn't have wanted to go to a single sex. Also any bullying behaviours came from other girls, not boys.

I have a ds but if I had a dd I would want her to go to coed. My friend who has a dd and is planning on sending her to private school will be sending her to a coed but went to an all girls herself.

I understand the importance of protecting our girls and women, of course I do. But we need to be focusing on educating our boys and men too - nothing will change until this happens.

My ds is only 3 but his preschool friendship group is almost exclusively girls. Interestingly, any reported "boys vs girls" comments seem to have come from the girls (ie: you can't like moana because you're a boy).

Surely single sex school promotes differences rather than teaching equality amongst the sexes by their very nature?

Sockwomble · 03/10/2021 11:34

I am more concerned about some children having no school at all and others being forced into part time education. If there is money to spend it needs to go there first.

SusannaM · 03/10/2021 11:35

Yes boys / men commit more crimes but from what I have seen at the schools , the girls can be quite nasty in some cases too

I doubt many of the girls are watching hard core porn and are telling the girls what they want to do to them. These were "nice" boys brought up by "nice" parents too, but when they get in a group it's all about being one of the lads.

worriedatthemoment · 03/10/2021 11:38

Also some of you are saying you want an all girla schools to protect them but then saying well they go to clubs etc with boys so do mix with boys are you not concerned there also?
Also every child is different so for some girls an all girls school would be great for others not so
My ds both have mixed friends groups from school and as far as I know are respectful of girls , I know my elder DS stepped in with his friends at a club the other day as A guy was pestering a girl and they told him to move on she wasn't interested and walked her back to her friends.

The reality is we can't have the choice unless you can pay as the finances are not there and some want single sex , some want mixed

funinthesun19 · 03/10/2021 11:41

WTf are you talking about grin

How am I taking that decision away from any one else? And where have a ever said I would? I couldn't care less what you choose to do either.

However I do believe there should be more choice of single sex schools and I think the uptake would be massive

I think I got the wrong end of the stick.

Anyway, I do agree they could build more for the people who want to use them so then there is that choice available. That makes sense.

worriedatthemoment · 03/10/2021 11:42

@SusannaM i doubt many of the boys are either , realistically
I have teenage nieces and shocked by how some of her friends talk as well at times , much more forward than I would of been at that age

worriedatthemoment · 03/10/2021 11:44

@funinthesun19 where do people think the money comes from to do this though realistically ?
We provide a state education in the uk thats it , if you live in an area that has one fine , some areas only have maybe 1 / w schools full stop in the area

Mermaidwaves · 03/10/2021 11:49

I wouldn't have sent my DDs to single sex girls schools, I feel they need to learn how to interact with boys, they've both made decent platonic boy friends which is a positive. I want them to mix with kids from various backgrounds, genders, races and religions, diversity is good. I'm not sure if single sex schools and segregating is a healthy way forward.

SheldontheWonderSchlong · 03/10/2021 11:51

@Mermaidwaves

I wouldn't have sent my DDs to single sex girls schools, I feel they need to learn how to interact with boys, they've both made decent platonic boy friends which is a positive. I want them to mix with kids from various backgrounds, genders, races and religions, diversity is good. I'm not sure if single sex schools and segregating is a healthy way forward.
It's healthy for all the girls who aren't getting sexually assaulted or raped at school because it's single-sex.
DeepaBeesKit · 03/10/2021 11:52

Believe it or not its demand driven.

I'd rather my children not go to single sex schools (I've got one DS and one DD).

aSofaNearYou · 03/10/2021 11:59

@MasterGland

I don't think boys dominate the learning environment. Certain personality types do. I have taught many classes over the years, and there are often 1 or 2 big characters that dominate.

The "problem" with some boys in school, in my opinion, is the same one afflicting some men. Pornography. Until we tackle the pornography issue, little will change.

Well it has been my experience that they do, and that they are often facilitated to do so/less is expected of them compared to their female peers in this regard. Hopefully a decent teacher would consciously fight back against this, but as it is I think it is still a huge issue.
Swipe left for the next trending thread