Mean and unhelpful comments

Sparklfairy · 02/10/2021 15:53

I've had my arse handed to me more than once here, but I still keep coming back

You get used to it. In some cases the straight talking is actually helpful, but sometimes someone is just having a bad day and takes it out on the keyboard. You learn to filter those out, it's not all bad

Restart10 · 02/10/2021 16:00

I had a thread recently where the posters were so lovely and helpful. I guess like any forum there will be some replies that will be nasty but on the whole I think MN has been good for me.

Evangelo · 02/10/2021 16:01

Welcome to MN. As pp said, you get used to it and it actually teaches you to be more thick-skinned and learn to ignore unhelpful (to you) comments.

Anonymity helps people to say what they wouldn't be able to say otherwise, for various reasons. It isn't always bad but can be abused, yes. As many other things are.

One thing, if you don't like drama or want to be part of it, don't hang out on aibu. If you do, then you probably secretly or not so secretly enjoy it too.

ffsgivemestrength · 02/10/2021 16:02

I like the shooting from the hip straight talking on MN. It's what keeps me coming back and I enjoy seeing different points of view.

JaneTheVirgin · 02/10/2021 16:05

I expect it on AIBU - a lot of people really are being very unreasonable and sometimes dangerous, and should be told. Sometimes that may come across as harsh but it also may be what they need.

The other forums generally tend to be more 'sweet'.

DotBall · 02/10/2021 16:08

I like the shooting from the hip straight talking on MN. It's what keeps me coming back and I enjoy seeing different points of view

Me too, it suits my personality 🤣
There is so much kind and helpful stuff on MN though and some responses to tricky situations life throws at people can often be fabulous, especially when helping people to stand up for themselves.

ChamberofSecrets69 · 02/10/2021 16:08

I completely agree. It's one thing to give it to someone straight, and another thing to just be nasty and make someone feel bad about themselves.

Please remember though, if someone is nasty and hurtful, it says everything about them, and nothing about you. It tells you that they're very unhappy, so they're coming on here and trying to make others unhappy too, happy people don't go around trying to make others unhappy ❤

MattHancocksSexTape · 02/10/2021 16:09

There are lots of threads on this exact same topic

MorrisZapp · 02/10/2021 16:10

If you have a problem, MN will solve it for you but do not include details that aren't relevant to the advice you're seeking.

If you do, half the thread will be about the side issue you don't want help with.

WithMyEncyclopedia · 02/10/2021 16:11

There are always shit-stirrers and people often let them derail the thread, which then puts disproportionate focus on the shitty comments. Happens in all online communities in my experience.

Best thing is to focus on the good advice and not let the bad posts drown out the good ones.

sst1234 · 02/10/2021 16:12

This is AIBU and some people are very unreasonable in their question and then refuse to accept it

SickAndTiredAgain · 02/10/2021 16:16

As people have said, AIBU is harsher, on the other boards you can see people genuinely being very supportive to posters over a range of issues. When I was pregnant with DD and struggling mentally I posted (under a different username) and had such lovely responses and one woman going through the same thing as me and at the same gestation messaged me privately and we messaged throughout our pregnancies and I couldn’t have got through it without her.

YourFinestPantaloons · 02/10/2021 16:18

There's plenty of parenting sites for the thin skinned, no one is making you stay 🤷‍♀️

Tothemoonandbackx · 02/10/2021 16:18

Some people are just outright dicks on here, I posted something the other week about asking what people get up to when their kids are at Nursery, and what they do with the spare time?? I dared to put (lol) more than once, and someone suggested I use my time to basically look at my grammar and not lol so much (or something to that effect) I was just left thinking,.....well who shit on your Weetabix??, they said it to be a dick, it's just how some are on here I'm afraid X

Icecreamsoda99 · 02/10/2021 16:19

Welcome to the real-world people can be super nice, super nasty and somewhere in between. People can be mean on AIBU, but on the whole if it's unwarranted other posters will jump to the OPs defense.

Birdkin · 02/10/2021 16:20

It’s not so much welcome to MN as welcome to the internet. People are vile as soon as there’s any anonymity and some people don’t even need that just look at facebook.

seaandsandcastles · 02/10/2021 16:20

Do we have to have this thread again?

Polkadots2021 · 02/10/2021 16:20

@forthelaughs

I'm quite new to MN and joined because I always found myself going on Google and asking questions like, 'what nappies prevents leaks for a baby that sleeps on their front' and would have past answers from MN come up. I thought to myself, 'I always seem to be on this site, let me download the app and join.'

I've only been on here for a month or so but I'm really shocked at some of the responses I see in people's threads and struggling to understand why?! It's one thing to disagree with someone's views or try to show a different perspective but often I see people kicking someone when they're already down, being as negative as possible or adding blatant unhelpful comments just for the sake of it.

Maybe this is the tone of MN and many people don't see anything wrong but if anyone agrees, do you think this is because it's an anonymous site and people can get away with saying mean things? Maybe a case of people being 'keyboard warriors,' and being extra mean because it's not a face to face interaction and so on.

Really interested to hear people's views or if I'm just new here and need to adapt to the jist of things🤔

As I say to my athletes OP, mean is never okay. It just isn't, no matter how many people do it. It's totally not cool and none of us know how bad things might be for a person reading these threads. The ripple effect of a nasty comment could potentially be awful for a person, and I wouldn't ever want to be responsible for that, so I wouldn't ever be nasty. It doesn't cost anything to be nice.

Guineapigbridge · 02/10/2021 16:20

Exhibit A ^

YourFinestPantaloons · 02/10/2021 16:22

@DotBall

I like the shooting from the hip straight talking on MN. It's what keeps me coming back and I enjoy seeing different points of view

Me too, it suits my personality 🤣
There is so much kind and helpful stuff on MN though and some responses to tricky situations life throws at people can often be fabulous, especially when helping people to stand up for themselves.

Same, I don't want to be spoken to like a 9yo girl and be called 'hun'

Original poster

forthelaughs · 02/10/2021 16:26

Yeah I definitely agree some people don't want to listen to advice given because it's not what they want to hear and that's when things may go sour so to speak
I've definitely seen way more positive comments then bad but just wondered why people would go out of their way to comment and be purposely unhelpful!

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LaBellina · 02/10/2021 16:26

Unfortunately some people abuse the MN tradition of straight talking for their own agenda which is being nasty & goady probably just for the sake of it and so they’re having a go at the OP, especially on AIBU. They are probably lacking attention in real life so probably the best way to deal with them is to ignore them/ report the post.
Other then those posters, there are loads of goodwilling posters on here who are genuinely interested in helping others.

Original poster

forthelaughs · 02/10/2021 16:27

@YourFinestPantaloons

There's plenty of parenting sites for the thin skinned, no one is making you stay 🤷‍♀️

This is what I mean lol get a grip. All I did is ask a question I know there are plenty other sites thanks

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Original poster

forthelaughs · 02/10/2021 16:28

@MattHancocksSexTape @seaandsandcastles I obviously haven't seen such thread hence why I had made my own...

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Original poster

forthelaughs · 02/10/2021 16:30

@Tothemoonandbackx

Some people are just outright dicks on here, I posted something the other week about asking what people get up to when their kids are at Nursery, and what they do with the spare time?? I dared to put (lol) more than once, and someone suggested I use my time to basically look at my grammar and not lol so much (or something to that effect) I was just left thinking,.....well who shit on your Weetabix??, they said it to be a dick, it's just how some are on here I'm afraid X

Hahaha honestly what was the need?! Such an innocent question as well. It is quite interesting to see the sort of things people say on the internet isn't it

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