Mean and unhelpful comments

[forthelaughs]

I'm quite new to MN and joined because I always found myself going on Google and asking questions like, 'what nappies prevents leaks for a baby that sleeps on their front' and would have past answers from MN come up. I thought to myself, 'I always seem to be on this site, let me download the app and join.'

I've only been on here for a month or so but I'm really shocked at some of the responses I see in people's threads and struggling to understand why?! It's one thing to disagree with someone's views or try to show a different perspective but often I see people kicking someone when they're already down, being as negative as possible or adding blatant unhelpful comments just for the sake of it.

Maybe this is the tone of MN and many people don't see anything wrong but if anyone agrees, do you think this is because it's an anonymous site and people can get away with saying mean things? Maybe a case of people being 'keyboard warriors,' and being extra mean because it's not a face to face interaction and so on.

Really interested to hear people's views or if I'm just new here and need to adapt to the jist of things🤔

Hmmm I agree with you OP. Some people just love to take offence where clearly, none is meant. And unfortunately those are the posters who tend to derail threads with their persistent aggressive nit-picking over imagined slights. It’s highly frustrating but if you want sensible debate/answers stay away from AIBU

People act like there's no middle ground between #bekind and being mean. You can be blunt and forthright if that's your thing without being unnecessarily nasty at the same time.

@CaffeineAndCrochet

I agree. The art of good debate is to be able to express yourself without getting personal. Some can tread this line very well

@seaandsandcastles

Do we have to have this thread again?

I mean, did you have to comment on it? You could just scroll past 🤦‍♀️

Tough love type posts have helped me navigate life enormously. I made one last week. I felt much better after a MN talking to. I feel my social skills have improved. I also think, when some OPs use AIBU they kind of know they are, they don't want to be, but they need talking round. It is good for that.

However, I don't like how some posters seem to jump in with a not quite rude comment to an OP. It is like a competition to some people to get there first.

@YourFinestPantaloons

This is what I mean lol get a grip. All I did is ask a question I know there are plenty other sites thanks

And Thai is what I mean about being thin skinned. You asked a question, I answered it. I hat responses did you expect? Did you expect apologies?

@YourFinestPantaloons

But, you didn't answer her question 😂😂😂

@LukeEvansWife

FWIW posters on this website have actually saved at least one life - there was a poor woman who has having what she thought was a heavy period - she was persuaded to go to doctor and it turned out to be serious.

This isn't a site like NM just for mothers, you get people who have no intention of having children, men, people who are exclusively interested in some of the topics. And they let you swear

Fucking right they do

I have had some great advice on here and also some downright nastiness that has made me want to leave. I did once but o came back . The good advice weighs out the bad.

I agree. Some of the boards are nicer. Aibu is the worst.

The most helpful thing I've seen on MN was, a few years ago, when a woman had fecal impaction that she was able to ease thanks to some very graphic MNers not afraid to tell her to stick her fingers in her vagina and make a poo torpedo

@MattHancocksSexTape

There are lots of threads on this exact same topic

Yeah, I thought it was my turn to do it this week

[quote YourFinestPantaloons]@Thesummeriwas16 no, this week is the time to be fucking angry, not kind[/quote]
Definitely this. #bekind can quite honestly fuck off. Especially this week.

This is what I mean lol get a grip

Isn’t that a mean comment?

Especially this week.

As opposed to the weeks when women aren’t being attacked and killed by men?

To be hones, this faux, wide eyed dismay at the so called ‘nastiness’ is a bit disingenuous. Everyone loves it as much as the next person. Why else is everyone here? Admit it, everyone enjoys the pricklier threads, and jump in for entertainment. So there’s no point putting on the ‘oh look at me, I’m so kind and you’re all so nasty act’.

And starting a thread whining about how mean everyone is - that's goady as fuck

@BoredZelda

Especially this week.

As opposed to the weeks when women aren’t being attacked and killed by men?

Women are being killed by men every week. But I've had enough of faux naivety this week. So there's that.

@Stompythedinosaur

Agree with pp - the narrative in out society that women should be endlessly kind and self-sacraficing is just a way of controlling women. It is misogyny. Women are allowed to be rude, get angry and take up space.

I like it.

This is what keeps me coming back here. The honesty is brutal but it's REAL

As this is the AIBU thread I will respond. YABU, OP.

I have been properly outraged by some posters at times, upset by others and very occasionally had the cockles of my heart throughly warmed.

I have quite a history of starting threads which no one replies to. On one of them I accidentally included ds1's name and asked MN HQ to delete the thread. Even they thought my thread was worthy of criticism and suggested I might want to change it if I did decide to re post

MN is good for me. I am too soft and easily offended by far. It toughens me up and prepares me for the brutality of real life.

I also find it comforting to know what others are judging me for (I have a cross breed dog and no savings for example).

Enjoy it for the life-enhancing challenge it is op!

@BoredZelda

This is what I mean lol get a grip

Isn’t that a mean comment?

Yep, it is mean.

Good news Op, you’ll fit right in here. Most people are nice who occasionally make mean comments.

Plus calling someone 'mean' makes you sound like a ten year old!

It’s a reality check at times. Can be a bit brutal and some people are treated like royalty. But all of us are feeling some kind of need to be on here. It’s helped me more than it hasn’t.