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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have carried on running?

718 replies

OdettySpaghetti · 02/10/2021 08:06

Went for a run this morning. Ran past a couple of women with offlead dogs (cockapoo and a frenchie) which chased me as I passed them. They were not aggressive, more like running alongside me. The owners shouted of them but the dogs ignored them and carried on following me. I kept on running - before long we (me and dogs!) we’re quite a distance from the owners who were miles behind shouting and running (in a fashion) after us. I ran my usual route, off this path and into a wooded cut through, dogs still by my side. I’m getting pissed off at this point as I know I’m coming to a road and will need to stop so the owners can get their dogs. Sure enough I come to the road and stop. The dogs stop too and just start sniffing around but because we’re now close to a road I feel I have to take the dogs back before they dart across it so I head back the way I came, fuming that this has messed my run up. When the owners catch up one says “if you’d just stopped running we could have got them ages ago!” I replied that their dogs are not my responsibility to which they replied “no need to take them close to a main road though is there? Where is your common sense?” So livid now I say “get your fucking dogs under control, next time I don’t stop at the road”.

AIbU to have not wanted to mess my run up?

OP posts:
Ewock · 02/10/2021 10:09

YWNBU I am sick of the dogs who have owners with little to no control. So any times over the past year we have had dogs jumping up at us. One of my dc is extremely scared of all dogs now due to been jumped at. Yes the dogs were playing but a child doesn't think that and it was in the children's playground. The excuse of oh he/she's friendly is not good enough. Keep your dog under control and off the children's park area. Where we live we are lucky there are lovely huge fields for dogs and children to run and play, however I choose the play park because it isn't for dogs and yet I have to deal with this pretty much daily. So the last owner got a mouthful from me after uttering oh he is friendly when the dog had jumped at another little girl who it jumped up at from behind. She was terrified poor thing.

crazyguineapiglady · 02/10/2021 10:13

I think it was really generous of you to have stopped at the road!

Hopefully the idiot owners have learned an important lesson.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/10/2021 10:15

@KingsleyShacklebolt

you are sick of be kind?
you might appreciate kindness towards yourself?

ILoveYouMoreTheEnd · 02/10/2021 10:15

As a dog owner and a previous dog walker YWNBU because this happens far too often! Mostly with small dogs too. As a dog owner I've had a dog that was a dick before he was neutered and decided to piss off and run to a brisk walker and he kept with him. I was lucky it was on the beach where the walker had to turn back, I apologised and was mortified and the walker was kind about it. I didn't expect them to stop but it would have been less stressful if they had have stopped until I caught up.

In black and white terms they were in the wrong, the grey area is where you would lack empathy taking the dogs onto a road area. Unfortunately you would be berated for that in this day and age. 🐾🐾

vivainsomnia · 02/10/2021 10:16

Again someone who thinks that the OP has a duty to take responsibility for other people's uncontrolled animals. She does not
Is it so hard to distinguish between responsibility and kindness? Do you only ever do just falls under your responsibility and throw the duty card to justify all your actions?

Not one poster have said OP was responsible and had a duty of care towards the dog. What some have pointed out is that she could easily taken out another course of action, that would have resulted in a much shorter delay and been much less frightening for all. That would have kind even if the ladies were in the wrong.

chaosrabbitland · 02/10/2021 10:17

@HoppingPavlova

you sound like the sort of person who if one of the dogs had been hit by a car would be on here posting well i was right to carry on wasnt i

What an arse. How about if dogs don’t have 100% crack recall they are kept on lead? The line between responsible dog owners and entitled fuckwits with dogs has been blurred for some time now but has definitely swung the pendulum, and not for the better, in the last few years.

the only arse is the op and of course you for backing her up , its true the dogs should have been on a lead and no one had disputed that have they ? the point is she refused to stop just for even a minute to let the ladies get them at which point they might very well have said sorry to her , but she acted like a prick and just carried on and then threatned them with next time i wont stop at the road , so in other words shes happy to see the dogs run over , if you support that then you are in the same league with the op , she created a situation that didnt even need to happen
KingsleyShacklebolt · 02/10/2021 10:18

[quote MrsLargeEmbodied]@KingsleyShacklebolt

you are sick of be kind?
you might appreciate kindness towards yourself?[/quote]
Yes I am sick of "be kind" in the way it is being used in social media and the press.

Someone behaves appallingly - don't say anything which might upset them, because be kind. It's not a positive message. People should be assertive and stand up for themselves, which is not the same thing as being rude.

MordredsOrrery · 02/10/2021 10:18

YANBU. On the very rare occasion its happened I've ignored dogs that follow because I'm quite uncomfortable around dogs and don't want any contact with them. I would've kept going, but then I run very early in an area with no pavement and rarely pass any vehicles (live rurally). Anyone without a lead on their dog around here either has rock solid control or is an idiot who doesn't give a damn about their animals safety.

RedMarauder · 02/10/2021 10:18

@Anotherhill

Did the owners see you coming? Did they have a chance to get their dogs on the lead?
The owners need to train their dogs not to follow a random stranger.

It is wrong for dog owners to presume every walker, runner, cyclist, horse rider and horse isn't very nervous around strange dogs or knows what to do.

If the OP was very nervous around dogs she could have sprinted off, the dogs would have chased and got run over.

I've been in a similar scenario before however due to the areas I run and walk in the dogs get distracted by wildlife so go off and chase them leaving me alone. The owner then risks being fined if they capture the wildlife.

Leibham · 02/10/2021 10:18

You could have got the dogs killed.

Recall, when when solid, can out of the blue stop if the distraction is strong enough. All owners face this moment where they trust their dog and out of nowhere they have a ‘moment’

So it is really common sense too.

christinarossetti19 · 02/10/2021 10:19

Of course you shouldn't have had to adjust your run to take account of out of control dogs.

I'm a runner and I would have stopped to let the owners get them, mainly because I've seen several runners bitten by out of control dogs in local parks and would be frightened.

But no, you bore no responsibility for the owners' complete inability to control their dogs.

WaltzingBetty · 02/10/2021 10:19

@vivainsomnia

Again someone who thinks that the OP has a duty to take responsibility for other people's uncontrolled animals. She does not Is it so hard to distinguish between responsibility and kindness? Do you only ever do just falls under your responsibility and throw the duty card to justify all your actions?

Not one poster have said OP was responsible and had a duty of care towards the dog. What some have pointed out is that she could easily taken out another course of action, that would have resulted in a much shorter delay and been much less frightening for all. That would have kind even if the ladies were in the wrong.

What about the OP stopping prior to the road and returning the out of control dogs was 'unkind' ?
Poetnojo · 02/10/2021 10:19

You did nothing wrong OP. I would have assumed they would turn back eventually so I get why you didn't stop till the road.
Other peoples untrained dogs are not your problem and if you had stopped sooner the owners probably wouldn't have learned anything from it either. Stopping immediately would just be enabling their inconsiderate behaviour.
Anyone here comparing dogs to kids, get a grip! The two are not even comparable! And people saying that kids often get in their way while out running?! You do realise that children are not ment to be kept on leads in public and they have as much right to use the park as you do don't you? Dogs on the other hand have no such rights, so once again, get a grip and realise that you have to accommodate them in parks etc

vivainsomnia · 02/10/2021 10:19

I think it was really generous of you to have stopped at the road!
As opposed to crossing and then risking the dogs finally turning back crossing the road and getting bit by a car?

Yes, very generous Hmm

purplesequins · 02/10/2021 10:19

yanbu
I would (and have done) the same. unless a dog snaps at me, which has happened before, I keep running.

crazyguineapiglady · 02/10/2021 10:19

@Leibham

You could have got the dogs killed.

Recall, when when solid, can out of the blue stop if the distraction is strong enough. All owners face this moment where they trust their dog and out of nowhere they have a ‘moment’

So it is really common sense too.

The owners could have got the dogs killed by letting them run around off lead near roads.
christinarossetti19 · 02/10/2021 10:20

@Leibham

You could have got the dogs killed.

Recall, when when solid, can out of the blue stop if the distraction is strong enough. All owners face this moment where they trust their dog and out of nowhere they have a ‘moment’

So it is really common sense too.

If a dog is so distracted by someone running that they lose their usual solid recall, I would suggest that the recall wasn't really that solid.

It's hardly an unusual experience for a dog, surely, to see people running?

KingsleyShacklebolt · 02/10/2021 10:20

@Leibham

You could have got the dogs killed.

Recall, when when solid, can out of the blue stop if the distraction is strong enough. All owners face this moment where they trust their dog and out of nowhere they have a ‘moment’

So it is really common sense too.

No, the lack of the control from the owners could have got the dogs killed. Stop trying to put responsibility for what might have happened onto the innocent party in all of this.
Skinnytailedsquirrel · 02/10/2021 10:20

So many dog owners have entitlement issues. I regularly walk through a nature reserve and there are "pack" walkers with up to 8 dogs with them. Guess who has to jump out of their way! Too many dogs in the UK now.

vivainsomnia · 02/10/2021 10:20

What about the OP stopping prior to the road and returning the out of control dogs was 'unkind' ?
Because according to OP by then the owners were moles behind and obviously out of sight.

christinarossetti19 · 02/10/2021 10:21

@vivainsomnia

I think it was really generous of you to have stopped at the road! As opposed to crossing and then risking the dogs finally turning back crossing the road and getting bit by a car?

Yes, very generous Hmm

Um, the dog's road sense or lack of wasn't OP's respnsibility.

I think you'll find that's what owners are for.

WaltzingBetty · 02/10/2021 10:21

@Leibham

You could have got the dogs killed.

Recall, when when solid, can out of the blue stop if the distraction is strong enough. All owners face this moment where they trust their dog and out of nowhere they have a ‘moment’

So it is really common sense too.

You could have got the dogs killed?

Really? simply by continuing on a planned run, being mobbed by out of control dogs, then stopping prior to the road and going out of her way to return the dogs to the entirely irresponsible owners?
You genuinely think It would be the OP's fault if they were hurt?

crazyguineapiglady · 02/10/2021 10:22

@vivainsomnia

I think it was really generous of you to have stopped at the road! As opposed to crossing and then risking the dogs finally turning back crossing the road and getting bit by a car?

Yes, very generous Hmm

Yes, exactly - the OP was kind enough to stop and care for someone else's animals when the owners hadn't done so. She had no responsibility or obligation to do it. The owners were allowing their dogs to run around near roads with no control over them, they are lucky someone was generous enough to help them.
myadhdusername · 02/10/2021 10:22

‘Next time I don’t stop at the road’

This has made me laugh for some reason. Just picturing someone saying it and the dog owners being like Shock

Leibham · 02/10/2021 10:22

@KingsleyShacklebolt

That’s also true but she would have bore responsibility too. It’s not the animals fault that the owner couldn’t catch them.

She could have easily stopped and the situation would be remedied, that’s just common sense.