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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have carried on running?

718 replies

OdettySpaghetti · 02/10/2021 08:06

Went for a run this morning. Ran past a couple of women with offlead dogs (cockapoo and a frenchie) which chased me as I passed them. They were not aggressive, more like running alongside me. The owners shouted of them but the dogs ignored them and carried on following me. I kept on running - before long we (me and dogs!) we’re quite a distance from the owners who were miles behind shouting and running (in a fashion) after us. I ran my usual route, off this path and into a wooded cut through, dogs still by my side. I’m getting pissed off at this point as I know I’m coming to a road and will need to stop so the owners can get their dogs. Sure enough I come to the road and stop. The dogs stop too and just start sniffing around but because we’re now close to a road I feel I have to take the dogs back before they dart across it so I head back the way I came, fuming that this has messed my run up. When the owners catch up one says “if you’d just stopped running we could have got them ages ago!” I replied that their dogs are not my responsibility to which they replied “no need to take them close to a main road though is there? Where is your common sense?” So livid now I say “get your fucking dogs under control, next time I don’t stop at the road”.

AIbU to have not wanted to mess my run up?

OP posts:
christinarossetti19 · 02/10/2021 19:38

Or a Parking thread tbf.

DecadentlyDecisive · 02/10/2021 19:39

@Buttercup54321

You sound an aggressive twat. Stormy teacups is right. You should have kept running back towards the owners, let them grab the dogs, then run on. No need to swear at them and act aggressively.
You sound like an entitled twat - your dog, your responsibility. The owners should have run after their dogs, caught them & restrained them.
MissMaple82 · 02/10/2021 19:41

You were a dick. Wouldn't of hurt to stop for 30 seconds at the beginning.

MissMaple82 · 02/10/2021 19:44

The thing about society these days is everyone seems to have this sod everyone else attitude instead of just being a good spirited member of society and helping each other out

SusieBob · 02/10/2021 19:47

The idea that runners can't stop always amuses me. Yes you can. Your heartrate won't plummet immediately and besides, how do you think interval training works?

Garmins have autopause features so it won't mess up your strava stats either.

hangrylady · 02/10/2021 20:09

@mbosnz

'Meanies'? Are we six?!

Sometimes I'm kind, sometimes I'm not. Like most people. But people shouldn't rely on random strangers kindness to ensure the welfare of either their animals or their children. Because that random stranger might not have the wherewithal or desire to #bekind, that day, and if their children or their animals suffer as a result, it's still on them that their children or animals were in that position.

Sometimes I'll go out of my way to help someone and sometimes I won't but what I would never ever do is put a child or an animal in danger to prove a point. I don't care if I'm 'within my rights' or if the other person is a dick for being irresponsible. People on here saying they wouldn't have stopped at the road. What if the dogs had been hurt or killed? Ultimately they are not your responsibility but would you be OK with that because the owners were idiots? I sure wouldn't.
purplesequins · 02/10/2021 20:14

@SusieBob

The idea that runners can't stop always amuses me. Yes you can. Your heartrate won't plummet immediately and besides, how do you think interval training works?

Garmins have autopause features so it won't mess up your strava stats either.

the idea that dog owners can't seem to be able to have their dogs under close control always amuses me.

it's not difficult to keep a dog on the lead.

Leibham · 02/10/2021 20:18

@DecadentlyDecisive

The owners did just that, they ran after their dogs trying to catch them for a long distance but couldn’t keep up with the OP so the OP could prove her point.

They made a mistake of judgement admittedly. No one disagrees with that.

mbosnz · 02/10/2021 20:19

@hangrylady I am of like mind. However, I'm also very much aware that many are not, and sometimes people would be, but not in that moment. Personally, I prefer to take responsibility for those I love and care for, and as I said, not rely on the kindness of absolute strangers.

That's why I used reins for my runner of a kid, until I had such good voice control over her that if I yelled 'STOP', she'd stop in her tracks, rocking on her heels. You cannot, and really shouldn't, rely on other people, in such a manner. Certainly not with your nearest and dearest. But perhaps the dog owners didn't really care that much about their dogs. . .

Kleptaklunky · 02/10/2021 20:19

Runners get on my nerves tbf. Sweating all over the place. Grim

Leibham · 02/10/2021 20:19

@DecadentlyDecisive so she should have kicked the dogs?

GetOffThatPhone · 02/10/2021 20:23

I stopped running a particular route when a bloody alsation ran up to me snarling. The arsehole who let him off the leash just laughed. YANBU

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 02/10/2021 20:46

@Leibham

What if the dogs owner is going through some serious shit, depressed, distracted, unwell and it’s a one off slip up….not ok then though to excuse it right? You would highly doubt it was a one off right?

Oh but some joggers can’t be inconvenienced for two seconds on account of it.

You don’t just switch off being a nice human being because you’re on a jog thats bullshit.

This isn't the same thing cutting both ways though.

The runner theoretically 'going through some serious shit' has zero impact on a dog walker.

The dog walker theoretically 'going through some serious shit' such that they neglected to keep their dog on a lead when needed does impact the runner.

Leibham · 02/10/2021 20:59

@NellWilsonsWhiteHair.

It did impact the dog walker today, how do you know what she might have been going through? Yet the OP couldn’t inconvenience herself for a few seconds to simply be kind and avoid the unpleasant situation that unfolded.

Macncheeseballs · 02/10/2021 21:00

Klepta, Dog walkers get on my nerves to be honest, an entitled bunch who don't pick up their dog's shit

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 02/10/2021 21:05

[quote Leibham]@NellWilsonsWhiteHair.

It did impact the dog walker today, how do you know what she might have been going through? Yet the OP couldn’t inconvenience herself for a few seconds to simply be kind and avoid the unpleasant situation that unfolded.[/quote]
I don't have a clue and tbh I'm really not heavily invested either way, but it only affected the dog walker through her own choice (ie. to not have her dog safely on lead). The runner's role here is reactive and they're just not equivalent.

I'm not wholly unsympathetic to the dog walker, my 3yo is a bolter at the min and it's inconvenient, worrying, tiring and irksome, but she's my 3yo and my problem.

Leibham · 02/10/2021 21:28

@NellWilsonsWhiteHair
I haven’t said at all that the OP wasn’t ‘entitled’ to do what she did, yes she’s entitled to do it if the dog owner didn’t have on a lead.

It was really unnecessary and unkind though. Even joggers on this thread acknowledge that.

IvyM · 02/10/2021 21:30

I wonder why kindness is so unpopular on this thread and other threads in general lately. Evolutionary psychology teaches us that being social is a trait passed on from generation to generation because so far it's ensured our survival as a species - our ancestors saw a wild animal attacking the tribe, signaled the danger and the tribe survived. We're naturally inclined to look out for our fellow humans so that they'll look out for us. Studies have shown our brain releases dopamines when we do something nice for someone else. As a society we categorize antisocial behaviors into mood disorders and treat them in mental facilities or prisons. Even our school curriculums encourage social traits and kindness in our young ones. It's fascinating to see this trend suddenly coming to a hault here on mumsnet, especially since the very existence of mumsnet came to be out of women's desire to build a platform where they can socialize and be kind to one another.

bowchicawowwow · 02/10/2021 21:33

I love our local woods where runners, bikes and also off lead dogs are prohibited Grin it makes for a lovely walk for everyone. It's a private woodland so the landowner makes the rules.

In response to the OP - YABU. You were being deliberately unhelpful and ultimately spoiled your run for yourself. You could have kept running but turned back or given the owners a fighting chance at getting their dogs on the lead. Did you shout to let them know you were approaching?

sirfredfredgeorge · 02/10/2021 21:49

I wonder why kindness is so unpopular on this thread and other threads in general lately

Kindness is keeping your dog under control, because there are people scared of dogs, dogs can't control themselves and often run off etc. It's the lack of recognition of this which the "be kind" people are missing, the complete lack of kindness started the problem.

HelloDaisy · 02/10/2021 21:52

@IvyM

I wonder why kindness is so unpopular on this thread and other threads in general lately. Evolutionary psychology teaches us that being social is a trait passed on from generation to generation because so far it's ensured our survival as a species - our ancestors saw a wild animal attacking the tribe, signaled the danger and the tribe survived. We're naturally inclined to look out for our fellow humans so that they'll look out for us. Studies have shown our brain releases dopamines when we do something nice for someone else. As a society we categorize antisocial behaviors into mood disorders and treat them in mental facilities or prisons. Even our school curriculums encourage social traits and kindness in our young ones. It's fascinating to see this trend suddenly coming to a hault here on mumsnet, especially since the very existence of mumsnet came to be out of women's desire to build a platform where they can socialize and be kind to one another.
Exactly!
CrocodilesCry · 02/10/2021 21:52

My dog (a rescue who we hadn't had long but had up to then perfect recall) took off down a towpath after some runners and they didn't stop for over a mile despite us running after them and begging them to stop.

They just carried on running until they passed another man coming the opposite way and he grabbed our dog's collar until we caught up. He rightfully agreed the runners were arseholes for not stopping.

I know it must have been annoying but what you did was really mean - you could have just stopped briefly so they could retrieve their dogs.

Yes the dog owners were at fault (as were we when it happened to us) but you could have just stopped. You realised what was happening and that the dogs would stop if you did.

MancMum2000 · 02/10/2021 21:52

You were all being dicks. Get over yourself OP, the world doesn’t revolve around your runs, you should have stopped.

dogsrock15 · 02/10/2021 22:00

No you shouldn't have had to stop running. I would have and do when I go jogging but then I'm a big dog lover. if it was my dog who had followed you though I'd be absolutely mortified and would have apologised.

Addicted2LoveIsland · 02/10/2021 22:00

Nope. Dog Trainer and behaviourist here. Absolutely not the dogs are their responsibility. Would it have been helpful and kind if you stopped. Yes of course. But totally you choice - it's your run and your time.thwy definitely should not have attacked you for their error and lack of responsibility!