Page 3 | Husband called me a bitch

PelaLa · 2021-10-02T05:47:28+00:00

Asked DH quietly to stop snoring/ move over a bit to see if that would help. He stormed through to the spare room, slammed the door and shouted that I was a fucking bitch. I know it's annoying to be woken up, but I couldn't sleep either due to the snoring. Surely this is an overreaction?

LannieDuck · 02/10/2021 10:37

When my DH wakes me with his snoring, I prod him and ask him to turn on his side (he snores when he's on his back). He rolls over mumbling 'sorry'... and we both go back to sleep.

Have a chat about it when you're both awake properly. He needs to suggest a resolution since this is his issue impacting you. And apologise for calling you names.

icedcoffees · 02/10/2021 10:38

The way he spoke to you is awful but if you could't sleep and you have a spare room, why on earth didn't you move in there yourself instead of waking him up?

If I was keeping someone awake and they decided to disturb me instead of going to the spare room for the night, I would be really pissed off tbh.

It's different if you have nowhere else to go to sleep, but you clearly do so I don't understand why you lay there, got increasingly pissed off with him then disturbed him instead of going to the spare bed and going to sleep.

Cadent · 02/10/2021 10:40

@Harford

*Really??

He's been woken up in the middle of a sleep, and is grumpy.

Unless there is any other behaviour that is worrying then I think you might be a tad over reacting*

It's mn, men are the enemy remember.

If they walk behind you they are terrifying you,
if they want to be sensible with cash they are financially abusive,
if they are pissed of over something they are bullies,
if a group of men socializes together they are being misogynistic ad spend their time belittling women.
if any double standard against men is called out on mn or a poster is being nasty to one it's ok as men have caused all the problems in the world since time began so every man must pay,

6.if they are white they are very privileged and live in a mansion...

If they chat to a woman in any way they are creeps.
if they leave a dirty cup out then LTB.

What a load of shit. If anything women are too accepting of shitty behaviour from men, because they’ve been conditioned to by society.

And you posting this after the recent murders of Sabina Nessa, Sarah Everard and Gabby Petition? You should be ashamed. I bet you’re a man.

Ionlydomassiveones · 02/10/2021 10:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

CyclingIsNotOuting · 02/10/2021 10:42

He’d be in the spare room permanently.

Cadent · 02/10/2021 10:43

@KurtWilde

Couldn't have put it better myself. MN is riddled with toxicity towards men.

Jog on, Kurt.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/10/2021 10:47

HouseOfFire

Really??

He's been woken up in the middle of a sleep, and is grumpy.

Unless there is any other behaviour that is worrying then I think you might be a tad over reacting“

Really?

Calling her a fucking bitch isn’t?”
You honestly think being tired and grumpy is in any way, shape or form justification for calling the person he supposedly loves a “fucking bitch”.

Read it all now and seriously wondering what kind of lives some people live if they believe this is acceptable.

duckduckswan · 02/10/2021 10:48

I nudge and roll dh over pretty much every night to stop the snoring and very occasionally he’s been very snappy and sweary about it. I was really cross with him and said it was totally unacceptable when this happens. However, a couple of weeks ago I was snoring and he did the same as I usually do and I went really angry and did a bit of a ‘how dare you …’ rant. Totally over the top but definitely didn’t have control of it. Only lasted a couple of minutes 🙈. Saying that I’ve been woken by the kids millions of times and never reacted like that 😁

GrandmasCat · 02/10/2021 10:48

Honestly, sleep deprivation is torture, those who think OP Is unreasonable for wanting to get some sleep need to remember the days with a newborn. Admittedly, the husband is not going to need a feed and a nappy change on waking up but she has as much right to not be awoken repeatedly at night as a snoring man.

I have spent a good few years wondering whether I am getting Alzheimer’s, with broken sleep not managing more than 3 to 4 hours of sleep in each 24 hours. I can’t remember things at work and my performance is affected. I cannot even remember words when I am talking at times.

I had a few nights on my own recently and I cannot believe the difference, slept the whole night, managed to fall asleep straight away after waking up in the middle of the night, I feel full of energy, my mojo is coming back, I was not so angry all the time and was able to cope with work better.

I cannot believe either it has taken years for it to down in me how his snoring is affecting my life. As soon as the spare room is sorted no more sharing rooms overnight.

Snoring is one of those things woman should not feel forced to suffer quietly because that’s what men do. OP is perfectly reasonable not to expect being called bitch for waking a sleeping man when the sleeping man has been keeping her awake himself for nights on end.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/10/2021 10:50

duckduckswan

I nudge and roll dh over pretty much every night to stop the snoring …”

Has he been to a sleep clinic? Could be apnoea. A CPAP for my husband years ago changed our lives.

icedcoffees · 02/10/2021 10:54

Honestly, sleep deprivation is torture, those who think OP Is unreasonable for wanting to get some sleep need to remember the days with a newborn

OP had a spare room she could go to, though. She wasn't stuck there listening to her DH snoring with no other choice.

It's bonkers to me to disturb someone who is fast asleep when you have another room (and bed) to go to. If someone posted on here that their husband woke them up in the middle of the night instead of going to the spare room to sleep, he would be slammed as a selfish wanker.

KurtWilde · 02/10/2021 10:59

[quote Cadent]@KurtWilde

Couldn't have put it better myself. MN is riddled with toxicity towards men.

Jog on, Kurt.[/quote]
No I don't think I will, thanks. I can't stand double standards, like many of the posters on here.

GrandmasCat · 02/10/2021 11:00

Why is always the woman who needs to accommodate the man? He had a spare room he could go to but is wifey who has to and she Isa bitch for waking him up?

In certain things we are still living in the 1950s…

Cadent · 02/10/2021 11:02

@KurtWilde

No I don't think I will, thanks. I can't stand double standards, like many of the posters on here.

What double standards? Can you post some or are you talking crap?

Go back to your incel subreddit.

Cadent · 02/10/2021 11:03

@icedcoffees

Honestly, sleep deprivation is torture, those who think OP Is unreasonable for wanting to get some sleep need to remember the days with a newborn

OP had a spare room she could go to, though. She wasn't stuck there listening to her DH snoring with no other choice.

It's bonkers to me to disturb someone who is fast asleep when you have another room (and bed) to go to. If someone posted on here that their husband woke them up in the middle of the night instead of going to the spare room to sleep, he would be slammed as a selfish wanker.

She asked him to move, so he was in HER side of the bed.

Yet she should move?!!!

Harford · 02/10/2021 11:03

I have always considered a gendered slur a deal-breaker

and yet every 2nd thread in mn is LTB or a woman calling another woman a bitch so do you keep reading the thread or is it a deal-breaker?

Baffles me how some women on mn get the hump with the 'bitch' word as it offends women when bastard is the equivalent pretty much to men and yet this isn't an issue. I'm not saying it or any name-calling is acceptable because it isn't but you can't pick and choose, if you use any of them then don't point the finger at others.

I once worked with a woman who hated the word 'bitch' as it offends women, the same one went on several rants openly in the staffroom about how she'd never work in a male-dominated profession or teach in a boy's school as they ''were all misogynistic bastards she couldn't stand'', note she was stating this on teenage boys/children as well.

I'd like to see the reaction if a male teacher went on a rant about how he refused to teach in a girl's school or work with women as they were all ''moaning and complaining bitches.''

Cadent · 02/10/2021 11:05

@Harford

I have always considered a gendered slur a deal-breaker

and yet every 2nd thread in mn is LTB or a woman calling another woman a bitch so do you keep reading the thread or is it a deal-breaker?

Baffles me how some women on mn get the hump with the 'bitch' word as it offends women when bastard is the equivalent pretty much to men and yet this isn't an issue. I'm not saying it or any name-calling is acceptable because it isn't but you can't pick and choose, if you use any of them then don't point the finger at others.

I once worked with a woman who hated the word 'bitch' as it offends women, the same one went on several rants openly in the staffroom about how she'd never work in a male-dominated profession or teach in a boy's school as they ''were all misogynistic bastards she couldn't stand'', note she was stating this on teenage boys/children as well.

I'd like to see the reaction if a male teacher went on a rant about how he refused to teach in a girl's school or work with women as they were all ''moaning and complaining bitches.''

More crap. You can’t call each other bitch on here, that would get you rightfully deleted and banned.

Your misogyny is showing. Go join Kurt.

Harford · 02/10/2021 11:06

*Have you ever asked yourself why? I’m married to an absolute rock but I can totally see why MN often say these things. Men routinely get away with murder (literally) in society and in relationships. Some women put up with fear, abuse and just low level cuntery on the daily. And posters like you, and all the others posters making excuses for men just stick the boot in even more. Empathy would be a good first step for you.

Op - being called a ‘fucking bitch’ - however extreme the situation - is never acceptable. I know how incredibly irritating it is to be woken up, and people can’t help snoring. But for the words ‘fucking bitch’ to come out - there is a harsh misogyny there that is very nasty*

Ok so using the word 'bitch' is misogyny yet 'cuntish' isn't? Oh and whilst some men are bastards look on mn, threads are fill of behaviour from women that we condemn men for.

KurtWilde · 02/10/2021 11:07

[quote Cadent]@KurtWilde

No I don't think I will, thanks. I can't stand double standards, like many of the posters on here.

What double standards? Can you post some or are you talking crap?

Go back to your incel subreddit.[/quote]
What the actual fuck 🤣

Fifthtimelucky · 02/10/2021 11:07

@GrandmasCat

Why is always the woman who needs to accommodate the man? He had a spare room he could go to but is wifey who has to and she Isa bitch for waking him up?

In certain things we are still living in the 1950s…

In this case it would have made sense for the OP to move because she was awake anyway.

I generally sleep in the spare room, because of snoring issues and incompatibility over heat.
My husband is 6'3 and needs a double bed with no footboard. I am 5'2 and am happy in a single bed with a footboard which is what we have in the spare room. He has also has prostate issues which mean that easy access to en-suite loo at night is helpful.

Obviously not defending the language used.

Cadent · 02/10/2021 11:09

@Harford

Ok so using the word 'bitch' is misogyny yet 'cuntish' isn't? Oh and whilst some men are bastards look on mn, threads are fill of behaviour from women that we condemn men for.

She hasn’t called anyone a cunt. She’s said some men behave cuntish to women. How on Earth can you equate that to him calling his WIFE a fucking bitch?!

What are you even doing on this site if you hate women so much?

Lessthanaballpark · 02/10/2021 11:10

It's mn, men are the enemy remember.

Yet the majority of the posts here have sided with the man.

Which puts an interesting take on your perception of MN attitudes doesn’t it? Maybe it has more to do with what you want us to think than what we actually think, which is often pretty diverse.

Cadent · 02/10/2021 11:11

@KurtWilde so no example threads of these double standards? Thought so.

Harford · 02/10/2021 11:11

*She hasn’t called anyone a cunt. She’s said some men behave cuntish to women. How on Earth can you equate that to him calling his WIFE a fucking bitch?!

What are you even doing on this site if you hate women so much*

ok, so posters who called out double standards are told to go to Reddit or are women haters. Please give me a quote I said that is woman-hating. And it is using the word 'cuntish' that can be seen as misogyny, you don't have to call a person the latter for it to be so.

KurtWilde · 02/10/2021 11:12

[quote Cadent]@KurtWilde so no example threads of these double standards? Thought so.[/quote]
You clearly haven't been on here long if you haven't come across them yourself. I also have better things to do than argue with a random.