To ask DP to move out because of his cat…

[CatWoesman]

DP and I have been together for 2 years.

We decided 5 months ago to move In together.

DP was renting a flat whilst I own my house, so we decided that for now, DP would move in with me and we would look to buy a place together next year.

So far, living together has been great, I love having him around and we are getting on so well.

There’s just one BIG problem.. his cat, Betty!!

He’s had Betty since she was a kitten, she’s now 7 6 years old.
She’s always been an indoor car (her choice) and I’ve always been pretty fond of her.

When I suggested he move into my house, I of course expected Betty to come too.

She’s never been an issue, always well behaved at DP’s house so I didn’t expect any issues from her at mine…. 🙄

The first week of her moving in, she began to pee outside of her cat tray.
She had a trip to the vets, several £100’s later and it was determined that there was no medical reason why, and that it must be behavioural.

We bought her some cat friendly plug ins Incase she was feeling a bit stressed with the move.
We bought an additional cat litter box so she could take her pick.

None of these things have worked and Betty is continuing to piss all over my house.
It started off as just on my landing, but now it’s wherever she fancies.

Not only is she pissing, but she’s also taken to scratching my sofa (which was brand new only last year) and is regularly sick which seems to always be on my rug.

My house is really starting to stink because of her.
I had a friend over a few days ago and she commented on how bad it was.(it really is bad, not matter how much cleaning we do)

We’ve since taken Betty back to the vet and again paid for more tests (including another urine sample) but all is well.

She was nothing like this at DP’s house so I can only assume she doesn’t like her new home.

It’s been 5 months now and she’s still not settling down.
She gets lots of attention, we both wfh several days each week so she has company, she has several cat beds to sleep on (one which she used as a toilet so we threw away) and always has ample supply of food and fresh water.

I’m not going to be that person that asks DP to rehome his cat, nor would I ever want or expect him to.
But honestly I don’t want her in my house anymore.😣

DP is good, he cleans up after her and I know he feels bad about her behaviour, but I don’t feel there’s many more options other than asking them both to leave.

I’ve never personally owned any animals as I think this is the reason why.

I’ve always been very house proud and now
I’m extremely embarrassed by the smell.

I’m at my wits end.

@tiggerwhocamefortea

A tortie! That explains everything then! You won't win against her you know OP

I was coming back to post this exact comment. Should have known it'd be a tortie!

Naughty Tortie as my vet calls them.

Strangely enough the peeing cats referred to in my PP are also torties!

Oh gosh I really feel for you OP. I just couldn't put up with this.

My DM had this problem with her pets and it made my home life miserable. The place stank and I was so embarrassed to bring friends home.

So I could never put up with it. Betty would be out, with or without the DP.

I think Betty is going to manage the OP out of her home.
Don’t trust cats #TeamDog
(I had 16 years of evil cat, how do you get a nice one?!)

Firstly, Betty is gorgeous!

I agree with others, she’s had a massive change in circumstances - 1 bed flat to larger house is a huge change. Added to that, a garden. You say it’s front and back garden, with back door left open as you’re at home. That is a HUGE shift in the scope of “her” territory. Let alone the increase in indoor space, there’s now a whole new world outside that she will have no experience of. Her whole system is going to be overloaded with stress levels.

I wouldn’t confine her to one room though. Is there anywhere in the house where she could be “shut off, without being just one room? Basically, just trying to create the amount of freedom she had in a 1 bed flat.

And knock the outside access on the head until she’s settled and “normal” in the house. And, when you d9 let her outside, I’d only do so if she’s supervised in the garden. I’ve missed how old she is. But if she has a few years of no outside access, she’s in no way going to be street smart or road savvy. So, she gets to spend time in the garden when you’re out there.

And yes to checking your cleaning products.

Thank you for caring enough to ask. And bollocks to those posters who just say get rid.

What are you using to clean up where she has peed? If you’re using cleaning chemicals or bleach that may also not be helping…. There is a pet product called simple solution which removes the underlying smell to help stop them remarking in the area. You may need to go back over everywhere she has peed with that solution but it may help remove the smell for her (and you)… the issue now is the longer it’s gone on for the more the habit is ingrained..

I have animals and like you that would drive me to distraction… nothing worse than an overly animal smelling house… you have my sympathy.

Set her up with Alan, he can be her toyboy lol

I also suggest a vet behaviorist. She may need to go on some anxiety medication.
Zylkene is something you can try yourself as it's a natural substance.

Please don't confine her to one room, at least not in the long term.

• Cats are creatures of habit and don't like change. If medical reasons have been ruled out then it's likely stress causing her to toilet inappropriately.

• It's essential to use an enzyme based cleaner in the spots where she has peed. Soap and water won't cut it - she will still be able to detect the smell and so it will signal to her that it's a toileting spot.

• Other things that may help include some "safe" spaces for her - ideally up high (like a cat tower). Also giving her plenty of stimulation - not just petting but play sessions, an interesting view ( bird feeder outside the window is one our cats love), etc. Look up Jackson Galaxy and his videos on "catification".

• When she pukes, what does it look like? If the puke contains fur balls then she may need to be brushed more regular and to be switched to a different diet to help specifically with hairballs. If no hairballs - there may be another reason.

Also if she's scratching the sofa, try placing a cat scratching post directly next to the area she scratches most. We also have clear plastic scratch guards pinned into the sofa on the section they were scratching the most. This in combination with the post placed next to it has meant they no longer claw the sofa.

Cats have scent glands in their paw pads. If they like you then they will want to mix their scent with yours - naturally the sofa has your scent if you spend a lot of time sitting on it. So that's a big reason for wanting to scratch the sofa.

We had a rescue cat who did this.

Daughter suggested Jackson Galaxy advice of giving him his own furniture) a big indoor cat tree with hidey holes to retreat to).
Now he's a clean contented boy.