I don’t want to leave my baby!

[Pineapples1986]

I’m a first time mum to a 3 month old baby girl. Unless I have something I really need to do or am absolutely shattered from consecutive nights of no / very little sleep, I don’t want to leave her with someone else, ‘just because’. I know people say you need a break but generally, I don’t feel this way. My MIL is currently pushing to take her for a day a week. I know I should be glad of the offer of help and lots of people would jump at the chance, but I don’t currently want to be away from her for that long! The thought of not knowing where she is, as she likes to go out and about a lot and would be taking her with her, also gives me anxiety. But asking her to ‘report in’ with what she plans to do with her, I know would come across as ‘controlling’. She sees her at least twice a week anyway so it’s not like she isn’t involved with her granddaughter, but I don’t feel ready for her to look after her a regular, set day a week and me be apart from her for that long. Am I being unreasonable?

"Meanwhile my own mum asked why I couldn't just hold DD on my lap in the car while DH drives, because she didn't think the car seat was comfortable."

Wow!

Times change I know, but was this ever done?

Perhaps it was at certain ages?

I know I was in a carry cot strapped onto the back seat.

@diddl Yes, I remember being on my mum's knee in the back of a Lada of questionable roadworthiness (not in the Uk, maybe it wasn't the done thing here. Maybe in the 70s?)

[quote AngelDelight28]@diddl Yes, I remember being on my mum's knee in the back of a Lada of questionable roadworthiness (not in the Uk, maybe it wasn't the done thing here. Maybe in the 70s?) [/quote]
Well I don't know-when too big for a carry cot & before car seats were compulsary, this was probably quite usual.

[quote AngelDelight28]@diddl Yes, I remember being on my mum's knee in the back of a Lada of questionable roadworthiness (not in the Uk, maybe it wasn't the done thing here. Maybe in the 70s?) [/quote]
Well I don't know-when too big for a carry cot & before car seats were compulsary, this was probably quite usual.

On a family outing once we drove behind PIL’s car while 2 of their other grandchildren stood in the back seat with their heads out through the sunroof, whizzing along through the country lanes. Ours were in their car seats in the back if our car.
When we arrived at our destination my DS said to Nanny “We wanted to do that but Mum said No”
I was perceived as very over protective and our car seats and baby alarms were a source of huge amusement. This was the mid nineties when car seats were in common use, not just a nicety for over protective parents.
I got to the point of really not caring what ILs thought of my parenting. I wasn’t prepared to be cavalier with my kids just to fit in.

Meanwhile my own mum asked why I couldn't just hold DD on my lap in the car while DH drives, because she didn't think the car seat was comfortable.
I mean, they managed to bring us up obviously

That’s because the babies who were held on laps and were involved in car crashes died and aren’t here to tell us about it.

I would have absolutely hated that and 100% wouldn't have allowed it. Even now my kids are older (5 and 3) I will only let my Mum/in-laws look after mine under certain circumstances (they're not really allowed to drive them anywhere as none of the grandparents are brilliant with car seat safety, for example).

You'll know instinctively when you're ready for that to happen, until then a 'that's not going to work for us' is a useful way of saying no!