So you let your kids whatch 12/15/18 programmes when they are only 10???

[Cantcook842]

AIBU here or not? I'm not a complete rule follower. I'm sure my child has watched the old older thing occasionally.
But I'm hearing from family members and school friends about what they watch and play and it just confuses me. Do people not want their kids to be kids anymore? Are they quite happy to expose them to violence etc from a young age?
Some recent examples :
Kids in my sons class are age 9 and 10. For at least two years a lot of the boys have been playing Grand Theft Auto. This is a 17+ game due to violent content /crime /rape/prostitutes. My son constantly asking to play and join in. We say no. His cousin also plays it who is 8 years old.

Watching films such as deadpool (15) contains sex and violence. Horror films such as IT, Halloween and Chucky.

The girls in the class are all on tik tok adult accounts and most of them have phones that they bring into school and show each other very grown up videos whilst walking home.

The new recent Netflix programme Squid Games is also 17+. My husband and I watched it and enjoyed it, but it is full of violence and death. Son goes into school, kids all talking about it because they've watched it. My 7 year old daughter loves to play on Roblox, she shows me that there have been squid games created on there, aimed at very young children!

Girls at school watch love Island and think that's a good example for a how a woman to be and aspire to be influencers.
Am I the mean one for not letting my 10 year old watch adult rating programmes and games?

I tend to stick to guidelines. Bit shocked deadpool is 15. My kids moan quite a bit bit. The odd film like star wars or jumanji we have let them watch after watching ourselves. 10 year old cracks up everytime at zoology b×tch but nothing he hasn't already in the playground

My strategy is if they watch something rated much older, then watch it with them and provide context, reassurance, explanations, and even turn it off if it's too much for them. Leaving them to just get on with it is a recipe for disaster but it's good to stretch them too within a safe context.

I have only ever let them watch 1 rating above their age so my 9 yo DS has watched a couple of 12s but generally he doesn't want to thankfully because I hate the violence in superhero movies and his gaming is all free games on cbbc/the beano and minecraft. My 12&13 yo DDs watched 12s from about the age of 10 (things like Doctor Who or Harry Potter or Call the Midwife) but I would use common sense media and the BBFC description of the classifications to decide. Like PPs I don't mind swearing but they have only recently seen any films with anything sexual (dirty dancing was the first and is a 12 so consensual sex and not a higher age rating than their age) and I really don't like violence so that's a hard no. The 13 yo is beginning to ask to watch 15s so we've seen Ferris Beuller's Day Off (swearing) and Lady Bird (swearing and sex). DH and I don't watch 18 films so they won't get access to them.

Books are interesting, the DDs are reading stuff I wouldn't want to (YA stuff like Maze Runner) but I think kids are less able to imagine themselves in these situations so find it more enjoyable than I would, I think with reading I am happy to let them read what they want. By the time I was 13 I was reading gothic books like Flowers in the Attic and bonkbusters like Lace (the goldfish!), DD1 asked about The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo recently so I read it to see how graphic it was and was much tamer than the things I was reading at that age (but I suspect it'll be too 'boringly' adult for her - I loved it!).

I used my judgment.

I'd have let my 10 year old watch most but not all 12 certificates and I'd have let my 13 year old watch most 15 certificates. But I wouldn;t have gone any higher.

Mine are 10 and 11.

They are generally ok to watch a 12, but not if it’s too scary/violent - some of the older films have very questionable ratings!

Have you ever seen Labyrinth? It’s a U!!! My children watched it about age 8 and were terrified.

I think they’ve seen a couple of 15s, but where it is 15 for swearing or for innuendo which goes over their head. I don’t care about the swearing, they know what is and isn’t allowed, and they probably hear worse walking down the street. I won’t let them watch anything violent or any horror. Definitely not grand theft auto and the like.

Only scummy parents do that. You can tell the effect it has on their kids, who are revolting to be around.

I'd be relaxed about the idea of a 13 year old watching Bridgerton.

It's steamy (particularly the end of episode 5, and episode 6, if I remember rightly) but it's consensual, romantic, and while you're left in no detail as to what they're up to, it's hardly pornographic. There are depictions of female pleasure (hurrah!) rather than just being male focussed as so many of these things are.

The sexual politics are of their time - men and women are held to wholly different standards of sexual morality - but that was the reality and it's no worse than what is depicted in Downton.

If it depicted graphic violence or rape then I'd be much more concerned. It doesn't. I'm also not naive enough to think that a 13 year old girl doesn't know what masturbation or oral sex (probably worth noting that it's him performing it on her) are.

@JaninaDuszejko books are a challenge as obviously not rated in the same way as films. I do think that if there is something you don't understand in a book, you skim over it and it doesn't stick in your mind in the same way as a violent or sexual image in a film would.
My 11 year old reads a lot of YA, some of which is possibly a bit unsuitable for her. I do try and read ones that I'm really not sure about first so I can either say no, or explain bits that I think I need to.

I’m with you. My DD (11) moans that all her friends have seen X, Y, Z but when I look at the reviews/programmes I am horrified!

All her friends think I’m strict but why would you want to subject your child to this stuff. It’s been shown to have an effect on them, even if they don’t realise.

I mean if some grown adults think Corrie is real, then what are the kids to think?

I was watching 18 certificate horror films from age 11. Not done me any harm. Some kids are more sensitive than others. My 8 year old doesn't scare easy and I'd let him watch a 12 or even a 15 certificate film (depending on how violent it was and it had no sex or nudity it). He's watched Lord of the Rings and Gremlins.

I wouldn't let him play GTA.

Interesting thread. I watched things like The Godfather, Good, the Bad and the Ugly, when I was pre-teen. Absolute classics, but both 18's.

I remember not being able to see Alien or Apocalypse Now though. I suppose each generation has its limits.

I allowed mine a bit of leeway such as some 15 films when they were 13. I remember being allowed to watch hammer House of horror when I was 8! I never thought it gruesome it just made me chuckle. Looking back though in the 80s when I watched it it was just really badly done and not particularly horror like.

We allow some 12s for our 10 year old, but we pre-watch. We have watched some entry level horror films, but based on reviews and research as to what is appropriate, so poltergeist and 6th sense for example.and stuff like Jaws and the Meg.

We watch all the marvel and star wars films with ds, but have not touched deadwood (too violent and too much bad language etc) and obviously not joker or the suicide squad stuff (again too old).

We are currently watching the james bond films from the start with ds, mostly as there are alot of cultural references to James Bond and it is interesting to see change in popular culture from the 60s to now. Also want to watch Austin powers with ds but you def need to see James bond first 😂🤣.

You may not agree but we def make sure we are comfortable as parents that the films he sees are not too much or too old.

But even outside of films you have to be careful, for example he is doing ww2 at school, I recorded a couple of documentaries, but on review some are v graphic and poss too old right now.

It depends on the film or game. Generally I'd be more strict with games because there is the interactive element. GTA and RDR aren't suitable for children, end of story. Films though depend on what they are and why they got a particular rating. Schindler's List for example I would rate more as a PG, provided the child watching it understands the context. How the hell is Lock Up (Stallone prison romp) an 18 whilst Threads is only a 15? Threads fucked me up when I viewed it for the first time aged 35!

The BBFC ratings are only enforceable in the sense people cannot buy them below that age - it's up to the parent to view something and decide whether it is suitable for a child.

@SheWoreYellow

I look on common sense media and judge from that.

But generally I let them watch a couple of years ahead of their actual age.

My DD had friends aged 11 who were allowed to watch the series Chernobyl which I thought was

Surely they wouldn't have even understood it, like the political and scientific stuff would have gone over their heads and it was hardly a "fun" watch

OP I second Common Sense Media as a good source of information.

I doubt you're the only one who doesn't let your kids watch that stuff. I certainly wouldn't. Probably the type of kids who are allowed to watch that sort of thing are also the type to show off about it.

@Sirzy

I think by rushing through things like HP before old enough to actually understand it actually spoils the overall enjoyment of them because you may be watching it but your not actually “getting it”

Totally agree. Its wasted on a 6 year old.

Even squid games explores themes of whether you should look after yourself or others and shows the pros and cons of these decisions
As if a 9 year old is understanding these messages from Squid Game. I'm pretty sure they would be saying "oh its a show where loads of people get shot and killed" not "its a programme where people got killed but only because they made bad decisions so next time I'll think before gambling or signing an unknown contract"

Also I'm certain they could find a programme with those messages which doesn't include massacres.

@HungryHippo11

Even squid games explores themes of whether you should look after yourself or others and shows the pros and cons of these decisions As if a 9 year old is understanding these messages from Squid Game. I'm pretty sure they would be saying "oh its a show where loads of people get shot and killed" not "its a programme where people got killed but only because they made bad decisions so next time I'll think before gambling or signing an unknown contract"

Also I'm certain they could find a programme with those messages which doesn't include massacres.

We have discussed these very issues with our DC. Because we watch with them.

But I totally understand why wouldn’t be for everyone!

You have to watch stuff yourself. Commonsensemedia is really helpful, but kids watch all sorts these days, and have very different ideas of what is appropriate. My 13-yr old's classmates are all watching Squid Games and Scream Queens, Sex Education, etc. Thankfully, she is very open and honest and is asking permission, with puppy dog eyes, to watch these, things, but she accepts my decision if I say no. She watched the first season of Stranger Things at a sleepover when she was 10, which I was horrified about, because I had seen it - and loved it - but it is scary. Thankfully, she just loved it for the 80s vibe and the characters and storyline. She has since watched the other two seasons and a few other series and filme that have an older age rating, but I am picky. I will watch first and then decide. Ginny and Georgia, which all the 13 yr olds are talking about apparently, was a hard no from me - when a random boy this 15 yr old girl has barely met climbs through her window and she lies down on the bed with him and asks if she can take two fingers - NOPE!
Watch and judge for yourself. Not all 12s/15s/18s are equal.

12s yes
15s would depend on the film
18s not a chance

@Midge75

You have to watch stuff yourself. Commonsensemedia is really helpful, but kids watch all sorts these days, and have very different ideas of what is appropriate. My 13-yr old's classmates are all watching Squid Games and Scream Queens, Sex Education, etc. Thankfully, she is very open and honest and is asking permission, with puppy dog eyes, to watch these, things, but she accepts my decision if I say no. She watched the first season of Stranger Things at a sleepover when she was 10, which I was horrified about, because I had seen it - and loved it - but it is scary. Thankfully, she just loved it for the 80s vibe and the characters and storyline. She has since watched the other two seasons and a few other series and filme that have an older age rating, but I am picky. I will watch first and then decide. Ginny and Georgia, which all the 13 yr olds are talking about apparently, was a hard no from me - when a random boy this 15 yr old girl has barely met climbs through her window and she lies down on the bed with him and asks if she can take two fingers - NOPE! Watch and judge for yourself. Not all 12s/15s/18s are equal.

Ginny and Georgia would be a no from me too even though Squid Games is allowed. G&G normalises and glamorises casual underage sex. In Squid Games you know who is making poor life decisions.

This seems to be the problem with some of these children. There is no parental judgement. There is no parental involvement at all. They just let them do what they want!! And then my kid has to listen all about it and wonder why we don't let him! I hope when he's older and looks back he will thank us for trying to maintain some innocence of childhood

Well there’s obviously other issues in these families and the problem isn’t really letting a 10 year old watch a movie with an age 12 rating.

Would I let my 11 yo watch a 12A? More likely than not yes. A 15? Far less so, Deadpool for example would have been an 18 all day when I was that age.

An 18? Absolutely not. The distributors of some films now would have been prosecuted as virtually none of the "video nasties" came even close to some of the stuff out there now. The boundaries have definitely shifted over the last 20 years and then some.

As for games, GTA V is apparently one of the most popular primary age games but there is no way on this planet that DS1 is playing it.

However, I'm happy for him to play PEGI 16 games in the main as the age rating system is quite harsh compared to film (probably because in game you're the one doing rather than passively watching characters in films)

I know my kid and get involved in what he's watching etc. It's not rocket science.