So you let your kids whatch 12/15/18 programmes when they are only 10???

[Cantcook842]

AIBU here or not? I'm not a complete rule follower. I'm sure my child has watched the old older thing occasionally.
But I'm hearing from family members and school friends about what they watch and play and it just confuses me. Do people not want their kids to be kids anymore? Are they quite happy to expose them to violence etc from a young age?
Some recent examples :
Kids in my sons class are age 9 and 10. For at least two years a lot of the boys have been playing Grand Theft Auto. This is a 17+ game due to violent content /crime /rape/prostitutes. My son constantly asking to play and join in. We say no. His cousin also plays it who is 8 years old.

Watching films such as deadpool (15) contains sex and violence. Horror films such as IT, Halloween and Chucky.

The girls in the class are all on tik tok adult accounts and most of them have phones that they bring into school and show each other very grown up videos whilst walking home.

The new recent Netflix programme Squid Games is also 17+. My husband and I watched it and enjoyed it, but it is full of violence and death. Son goes into school, kids all talking about it because they've watched it. My 7 year old daughter loves to play on Roblox, she shows me that there have been squid games created on there, aimed at very young children!

Girls at school watch love Island and think that's a good example for a how a woman to be and aspire to be influencers.
Am I the mean one for not letting my 10 year old watch adult rating programmes and games?

@WimpoleHat

Depends what it is and why it has the rating. Swearing? Meh. Sex? If it’s in context and everyone’s an adult and having a good time, I don’t worry. Violence? Hard no.

Exactly this.

My younger two are set up as child accounts on Netflix locked that they can’t watch 12 rated shows. My youngest cry’s at the buddie puppy movies so yeah. They also turn off by 7pm and are on their Amazon fire kiddie tablets so mainly play games on there or watch A for Adley.

My oldest who is 12 is set to 15’s but I can’t think of the last time he logged in on it after watching the floor is lava. He has TikTok and that’s where a lot of the children are watching the squid games even if their parents have put Netflix locks on apparently some people have been uploading it in smaller clips to watch. I’ve not stubbled across it but ds says they are there and most of the school are talking about it. His not on Instagram or Facebook though.

We don’t really watch tv in house though we are more gaming. My youngest again she’s on the kiddie fire tablet with her kiddie apps and Adley videos. Middle she plays minecraft, roblox and Fortnite maybe a bit of forza. Oldest plays cod, minecraft, Fortnite and Pokémon go

PG/12A I go off what the film is not the certificate.
My DC are all under 10 and never watched a higher certificate than that.
They do play games Roblox things like that it does worth me but I don't want them to be left out either

I'd be very relaxed about Bridgerton - it's nicely shot, romantic sex - the kind of thing I'd like to act as an introduction to sex and sexuality.* Don't forget, depressingly by the time the average child is 13, they've already been shown porn by a friend. I'd far rather they learned about oral sex and how positive sex can be by watching two characters who are in love with each other than pretty much anything else.

*Though probably a conversation to be had about the attempted conception scene.

Romantic sex??? That’s what romantic sex looks like? Having someone on the stairs during a fight (if I remember correctly)?

I let mines watch 12's there are a lot of films which I don't think are inappropriate for kids who aren't overly sensitive. Marvel films are mostly 12's and nearly every kid I know has seen them, we watch Dr Who but some of them (like the stone angels) I've skipped. I wouldn't go as far as most 15s as some of them are really creepy/ scary but would let him watch the harry potter series as he's reading the books anyway. I always think your imagination can scare you more than a screen.

And as for the ‘knowledge’ thing…I know kids who were allowed to watch, do and play things way beyond their age, but still believed in Santa at the age of 12. How does that compute?

Knowing about something isn’t the same as knowing - my kids know about sex, they don’t know the complexities of sexual relationships, how sex can change the dynamic of a relationship. They don’t need to see it played out in glorious Technicolor on tv to know it happens.

Lots of comments I will always let my kids watch things within reason. But I'm talking specifically about things containing extreme violence and full on sex scenes. I'm talking about children who aren't even 10 years old here.
From what I can gather, most of them are not watching them with their parents. I don't even know if their parents are aware! They are watching Netflix in their rooms etc. And obviously the parents aren't controlling or checking on what they are watching.
I always say to my son that he has a very short time of being a child and a very long time being an adult, and that there will be plenty of time for all of that.

My concern is how quickly you become desensitised go violence etc when you watch it alot. If is worrying for the future

@Schulte Pretty romantic to me - the stairs are the best place for oral sex in terms of position, and they were deeply in love, just having a tricky time.

Very much depends on each individual child and what the parent knows they will enjoy/can handle. I loved scary films as a kid, still do and my son is the same. He’s a lovely, well adjusted, kind and considerate boy. Shocking! Can you please let other people get on with their own parenting decisions and stop judging?

@Cantcook842

Lots of comments I will always let my kids watch things within reason. But I'm talking specifically about things containing extreme violence and full on sex scenes. I'm talking about children who aren't even 10 years old here. From what I can gather, most of them are not watching them with their parents. I don't even know if their parents are aware! They are watching Netflix in their rooms etc. And obviously the parents aren't controlling or checking on what they are watching. I always say to my son that he has a very short time of being a child and a very long time being an adult, and that there will be plenty of time for all of that.

My concern is how quickly you become desensitised go violence etc when you watch it alot. If is worrying for the future

I would say that in a childhood where the child watches TV all day long, alone and unsupervised because the parents are unavailable or uninterested, what they actually watch is only part of the problem.

I agree with all those using their own judgement and common sense when it comes to things like this.

All 12s, 15s and 18s aren't made equal. Something like Saw would be an obvious no.

I can never take parents who ardently stick to the age ratings seriously and in some ways I think it's worse than those who allow their kids to watch more adult programs.

The reality is that kids will always see things that are "old" for them. When I was a kid it was American Pie and Blair Witch Project. With my grandparents, it was A Clockwork Orange and it's novelization.

I think preparing them for the world and for seeing things they might not be ready for is more important than the ultimately fruitless attempts to shield them from everything.

I think as adults we see things from a different perspective, and gratuitous is not always the same as explicit. There may be an "explicit" sex scene of two people dry humping. But to me that's much less explicit than the scene of Susanne Jones wiping her fingers in Gentleman Jack.

I am much more sensitive to violence now than I was when I was a child.

My 10 year old watches stranger things and we have watched a few 12 rated films. She has heard swear words and doesn't swear herself so that doesn't bother me. She is also not the kind of child to be scared of what she watches, probably less than me! I definitely saw 12's and 15's before i was that age so don't think it's a new thing. Remember my mum taking me to see Notting hill when i was 12 (it was a 15) and trying to make me dress older .

Giving your kids informed guidance as to what they should and shouldn’t watch or read isn’t the same as trying to shield them from everything though, is it?

In our house we openly discuss everything and when the kids have a question, they always get an honest answer. They have always been pretty clued up as a result.

But, when they wanted to watch the last Harry Potter film, I told them to wait until they were a little older because it is very bleak and darker and more brutal than it needs to be IMO. And they had read the books, sure, but their imaginations wouldn’t have stretched to something quite as grim.

Waiting a couple of years didn’t do them any harm.

‘Giving your kids informed guidance as to what they should and shouldn’t watch or read isn’t the same as trying to shield them from everything though, is it?’

No, absolutely not. It is part of being a parent to make those decisions and provide guidance.

DD loved horror films as a teen but there were some where I would say not until she is older, and some where I would advise never watch it, not even as an adult.

Hmm. I'd agree with the other poster that said that in a house where children are watching constant tv, unsupervised and not with the guidance of the parents, that's reflective of an overall home life which isn't good. The actual tv content is less alarming and likely less impactful than the ignorance/ neglect of the parents. And that is something I do witness- we have problems in our school where children are playing games at all hours- children unsupervised and unmonitored playing online with strangers and neglecting to self monitor the amount they play, the appropriateness of who with, who watch and absorb adult aimed movies without any guidance or context , who have free internet access to ask their questions of, who don't get required sleep etc. It's those same children who have little impulse control, and poor reading skills. It's not what they are playing and watching necessarily (although yes- whilst mine can watch any age rated show that I've watched and deemed appropriate- I don't allow extreme violence or graphic sex) it's an overall pattern. If a parent doesn't care or know what their child is consuming, it's reflective of a bad parent imo.

I'm not too fussed about age guidances that run a few years ahead because of language or fighting but I would put a stop to something which is in range which is misogynistic.

You sound a bit uptight tbh. I don’t allow social media because I want them to steer clear of that for as long as possible. I tend to watch things first and if I deem it suitable, I let them watch it. My 11 year old DS is extremely mature for his age so I can trust him to watch adult content and have some understanding. He loves Stranger Things for example which I believe is rated 15.

As for games, they’ve all played Roblox for about 5 years now. They know not to speak to strangers on there, it’s quite an innocent game really.

I also wish that parents who let their kids watch 18 films at age 8 would make sure that they don't discuss the plot at school with other 8 year olds. My daughter had nightmares for months because a kid in her class told her what he had watched. Unfortunately the choice of a parent doesn't only affect their child.

It would be looked at if there were other safeguarding concerns. It's not always raised in itself as one.

It's sloppy to just allow anything without reviewing it yourself because the certification is not at all consistent or reliable.

@Cantcook842

AIBU here or not? I'm not a complete rule follower. I'm sure my child has watched the old older thing occasionally. But I'm hearing from family members and school friends about what they watch and play and it just confuses me. Do people not want their kids to be kids anymore? Are they quite happy to expose them to violence etc from a young age? Some recent examples : Kids in my sons class are age 9 and 10. For at least two years a lot of the boys have been playing Grand Theft Auto. This is a 17+ game due to violent content /crime /rape/prostitutes. My son constantly asking to play and join in. We say no. His cousin also plays it who is 8 years old.

Watching films such as deadpool (15) contains sex and violence. Horror films such as IT, Halloween and Chucky.

The girls in the class are all on tik tok adult accounts and most of them have phones that they bring into school and show each other very grown up videos whilst walking home.

The new recent Netflix programme Squid Games is also 17+. My husband and I watched it and enjoyed it, but it is full of violence and death. Son goes into school, kids all talking about it because they've watched it. My 7 year old daughter loves to play on Roblox, she shows me that there have been squid games created on there, aimed at very young children!

Girls at school watch love Island and think that's a good example for a how a woman to be and aspire to be influencers.
Am I the mean one for not letting my 10 year old watch adult rating programmes and games?

I'm with you OP my parents showed us a particular horror film when we were v young way before 10 I think, didn't bother me so much and I watched loads of horrors at my grans when I was young too, but I think it messed my brother up looking back. It'll be a cold day in hell before my boys watch that stuff early.

I think it messes with boundaries to be honest, it's not just the film rating it's that feeling that.boundaries and stuff can be blurred or don't really matter which when you're young can be a dangerous idea.

(the horror film my folks showed us was an 18. What the hell they were thinking I dont know)

My kids watch some stuff above the age they are, but they are things I have already watched.

We did take them to see Ready Player One which having read the book I thought would be fine - I didn’t realise they’d replaced a scene with something from The Shining! It was rated a 12a so I took a punt - likely they were all ok with it but it was a bit of a shock!

Mine don’t play GTAV but I would allow them to drive around on it under my close supervision. You’re right the storyline is completely inappropriate.