To think public schools/boarding schools have fewer problems with bullying?

[PostingOnMN]

AIBU? To have the opinion that top public schools and boarding schools have fewer problems with bullying than non-public schools or boarding schools? Top boarding schools I mean places like Cheltenham Ladies College, Perse Upper School, or even Eton College?

Also as someone who is black or BAME I guess, meeting people who attended those schools while I was at university, I felt completely comfortable around them and their parents were really nice! Even though they had travelled to foreign countries, had multiple homes around Europe and even holiday homes in the UK! They were really down to earth and didn’t comment on my skin colour at all or make me feel any different, which is something I cannot always say. I also went to a summer course in Eton College and the teachers there were really helpful and even recommended me for a different course and helped me prepare! I found the same thing at a well known university in London.

I’m now wondering if I would like to send kids to schools like that but wondering if I’m being naive based on limited experiences?

Ha, you’re extremely naive.

DH went to private school and he said everyone knew who the poorer kids were and they were totally ripped apart. If you had shit trainers or didn’t have expensive football boots for example. People were picked on for their parents cars, DH was picked on because his Dad drove a vintage Merc rather than a flashy new one… Someone got dropped off at school in a fucking helicopter so the poorer ones really stood out. By poor I don’t mean state school poor, I mean they didn’t live in a mansion and have a swimming pool. Absolutely preposterous and DH is almost embarrassed he went to a school like that now. He also said some boys would break into lockers and steal people’s phones and iPods but it didn’t even matter to them because mummy and daddy would replace straight away…

You are bring massively unreasonable and are very ill informed.

@3scape

Bullying in the private school I taught in was very much the teacher led. Bullying and appalling behaviour in the staff room, from tutors to students and obviously amongst students. This was around 2000 - 2006

What type of things would the teachers say/do in the staff room about students? I suspected this goes on but never had a teacher friend to ask

That’s awful @Generallystruggling

I just want to add - I worked for a company (I’m in my mid twenties) recently which mainly employs privately educated white people. As in, 100% grad intake was private: we have a lord working in the team. I just successfully sued for racism and classism. The privately educated, in my experience, seem to have no tolerance for the “other”. Just my experience.

Boarding school bullying can be horrendous and is utterly relentless, there is no getting away from it in the evening.