To be fed up of not being able to make any sort of mess?

[Veggieseverywhere]

We both work full time with young kids so DP decided on a cleaner. Fine, except he is now obsessed with the fact no one can make a mess so that the cleaner can clean.

I am getting a bit sick of bowls and plates being whisked off me two seconds after I’ve finished eating, kids toys being doomed to obscurity seconds after they’ve finished playing and even ordinary household items being constantly put away.

It’s really stressing me out. AIBU?

It sounds from your OP that he is doing all the dishes and tidying up. So I think YABU to demand to live in a mess.

How often do they come in?
I only clear completely the day they are due

No one is doing dishes, it’s what the dishwasher is for.

Once a week, but we did a big clean/tidy before she came and he wants to keep it up which I understand, but the problem is that with young children in the house you can’t always keep things as tidy as you might like.

Swap DPs? You can have my “puts bowls on the counter above the dishwasher, dirty washing on the floor next to the washing machine” DP; I’ll have your dreamy decluttering one.

Your DP is keeping a clean house in between cleaners visits? And you're annoyed because? 🤔

You absolutely can Op.
My children wreck the place when they come home from school and then it gets put back to "normal" when they're in bed. We hoover every day and wash the floors/dust a couple of times a week. We both woke too.

That sounds exhausting!

*work

Your dp sounds like a dream. I don't live in messy home, pots get washed and put away asap, toys are kept in a toy box unless being used. I can't understand why you wouldn't want that, especially as your dp seems to be picking up the little bits?

It is exhausting. Tbh DH is pretty messy on a day to day basis too so it is a bit irritating I’m being painted as the messy one. Things like I took my work lanyard off when I came in and he came into the toilet when I was on it ‘I thought you’d want to put this away’.

I’m not suggesting we turn the house into a hovel but it is a home and peoples stuff is here.

YABU, you've finished eating why do you need a empty plate to sit in front of you?

I’d agree with you if it was there for hours but two minutes while I finish talking?

I know what you mean, I like things clean and tidy but it's so annoying when people cannot stop or recognise that it isn't the moment to clean or that the 'untidyness' is deliberate.

I want to have a conversation when we've finished a meal, not have somebody leap up to immediately clear the table, and I want to be able to pause and put down a craft project to get a cup to tea and nip to the loo and be able to come back to it ten minutes minutes later without it having been tidied away because 'well you weren't using it!'

My dad used to do that as well @nosyupnorth, so annoying

Where did you put your work lanyard? Are you a “plonk stuff on nearest available surface” person and he’s a “hang it up where it belongs” person?

Well, he certainly wasn’t until recently, but it would seem I am in the wrong.

I am your DP. Sorry, he is right IMO.

I would love this in a partner - mine is very much ‘a home is for leaving my shit lying around in’ and the DC are copying him. I am very tidy so it’s a constant battle. Tidying up as you go along is a good habit to get into - YABU

He's cleaning up when people have finished with them - great.

It's the novelty of the cleaner. Don't worry it won't last. Before long he will slip back into his old ways. I get like that after l do a big clean and l get all paranoid and imagine this is the new me but l soon slip back.

Throw him back OP..,,I'll happily fish him out!

@burritofan

Where did you put your work lanyard? Are you a “plonk stuff on nearest available surface” person and he’s a “hang it up where it belongs” person?

I think the key point here is that the OP was on the toilet when he came to ask her was she going to put it away.

Depending on how young your dc are it's unreasonable to expect a toy free zone, mine are very young so have toys everywhere which get thrown away at night, but if they were games with little pieces etc it'd be one in one out. BUt the rest ofit sounds like a dream.
Is your nose put out as you've always been the tidy one and now you're not?

Surely coming into the bathroom whilst someone is on the toilet to ask where they are going to put something away is just rude (and controlling).

All the posters wanting a DH like the OP’s, be careful what you wish for. There’s being tidy and there’s being obsessive