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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that grown men on trains shouldn't behave like this?

148 replies

Iamnotminterested · 26/09/2021 00:27

I travelled from Euston to Manchester this evening. Within 2 minutes of getting on the train most of the seats around me were taken by football fans who'd travelled down to watch Man City v Chelsea, who pretty much straight away cracked open can after can of lager and shouted/responded football chants down the carriage...except that these weren't young fans, but rather men in their 50s and 60s who quite frankly were a fucking embarrassment, and I as a single female traveller mid-carriage felt mightily uncomfortable.

AIBU to think that men of this age should get a grip and not behave on public transport this way, and make me (and the other women who I spoke to after at Piccadilly) feel uncomfortable and glad to arrive?

OP posts:
DarlingFell · 26/09/2021 11:45

@XenoBitch

YABU for thinking it is ok if they are young to be doing football chants, but not people in their 50/60s. People that age can still have a passion for things too.
I think it’s pretty obvious that’s not what the OP meant Confused
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 26/09/2021 11:45

YANBU I had an issue with football fans on a train a few weeks ago. They were drunk, obnoxious and were very aggressive towards single women alone. I got called an uptight bitch when I told them to fuck off when asked for a quickie in the toilet.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 26/09/2021 11:46

Would like to point out police were called and multiple groups of men were removed throughout my train journey due to this kind of behaviour

Stovetopespresso · 26/09/2021 11:47

bunch of pissed up man-chlids think they rule the world. At best annoying, at worst intimidating.

but...its a free country I guess...well done pp for bollocking the anti semitic sing song though!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 26/09/2021 11:48

I had to get a train with DS to London on the day of the Euro finals. The scenes! I managed to find a quiet carriage.

I'm torn, I'm all for people enjoying themselves but also it's annoying and antisocial to others.

AmericanTie · 26/09/2021 11:49

Yanbu. I've noticed there's a lot more boozing in general goes on on trains now. It's fucking horrible. Staff don't say anything as it would put them at risk but it means that you do feel at risk yourself.

Last Saturday we went to York for the day and when we got on (at 10 am) there were already empty cans and bottles on the tables, some of them spilled on them, plus the now obligatory gang of 'lads' yelling and acting like arseholes. One of them threw up. It was disgusting.

On the plus side at least I didn't pay to be surrounded by pissed up vomiting man children because staff were nowhere to be seen so no one came along to sell us tickets.

But pretty much every time I make a leisure type train journey now there are people acting like absolute drunken nightmares, whether lads, hens or neddy dysfunctional families. It's very unpleasant.

OuiOuiBonjour · 26/09/2021 11:52

There's no excuse for it at any age or any gender. It just shouldn't happen.

One of the hands down worst experiences I have has was travelling to a family holiday destination, to arrive around tea time. 20 women in their 40s and early 50s got on around 2 hours from the destination. It was a hen party, they arrived on board steaming drunk, carrying bottles and cans and 2 huge inflatable penises. It was a busy train so they had to split up across the carriage. They were sat next to families, elderly people etc. Their language was absolutely disgusting. They were rowdy and loud. They were frightening some of the children. Three of the women sat on a table with one frail woman in her 80s trapped in the window seat and kept trying to get her to stroke one of the blow up penises and asking her if she'd "ever had a cock like this?" They were getting more and more drunk. I asked her if she'd like to come and sit with me and got called a "stuck up bitch who needs some cock" by a particularly nasty drunk. When the conductor was coming one of them got up and announced "right best behaviour girls and you lot, if any of you dob us in we'll fucking glass ya!" which led to them letting out a big cheer. The first conductor was a young man 18-20 with no confidence who got sexually harassed. The second conductor was a middle aged woman who said "I know it's disgusting but there's just me on board up this end now and it's honestly not worth the aggravation. I can't deal with 20 drunks alone. The transport police won't do anything for this either."

I've also been on trains with football hooligans but this was far worse.

The second worst was travelling home on the same train as people that had been at the York Races all day. It was all ages and both genders that were drunk, disrespectful, loud. There were couples feeling each other up, simulating sex. Groups fighting with each other. People falling out of their clothes etc. Someone so drunk they were trying to pee next to the toilet cubicle rather than inside it.

The problem in every case is alcohol.

We need to ban alcohol from public transport. There's no reason or need for it to be on board. I used to commute by train and every single time there was someone breaking out a 6 pack at 7.30am. If you can't get through a train journey without an alcoholic drink, you have a problem.

And anyone that is drunk and disorderly should get thrown off. That's never going to happen though. There's not enough police to carry that out.

AmericanTie · 26/09/2021 11:54

Agree with you that alcohol is the problem.

Obviously it would take a bit (!) of effort to tackle it but if Scotland can do it so can we.

Practicebeingpatient · 26/09/2021 11:55

@FelicityBeedle

Tbh I see more of that sort of thing from women on hen dos, loud drunken singing, pissed on the train etc. I just move carriage
On a Friday night train from Euston to Manchester you are lucky to get a seat at all let alone have the luxury of moving from carriage to carriage. It's normally seat reservations only and these can be fully booked a week in advance. If for some reason they have to run a shorter train people will end up standing all the way or sitting on the floor in the corridors.
SprayedWithDettol · 26/09/2021 11:56

Even stupid people get old. Wisdom isn’t something that develops with age. If course it isn’t appropriate, but creatures like this won’t ever change.

Macncheeseballs · 26/09/2021 11:56

So me and a mate can't have a glass of wine on a weekend trip cos of some dicks who can't control themselves?

OuiOuiBonjour · 26/09/2021 11:57

@Finfintytint

My train journeys have improved vastly since Scotland banned alcohol on them.
It's things like this that really make me want to move back home to Scotland. I also understand why I haven't had this problem on Scottish trains when I've been back visiting family. I had no idea they'd banned alcohol on trains up there - good on Scotland.
toastofthetown · 26/09/2021 11:57

It's not just football. I was on a train after an Ashes test match with the 'Worcester Boys' singing/shouting loudly until they finally disembarked. Another time at about half four I was on a train with a group of women, with one standing on a table doing some kind of imitation striptease while everyone else pretended they hadn't noticed anything was happening.

lljkk · 26/09/2021 11:58

Happy loud people don't bother me.
Even the litter they leave behind can be hard to criticise: train cleaning staff said to me "Well the litter keeps me in a job, anyway"

Can't comment on what you should think or feel.
Glad your journey was safe and now past tense.

AmericanTie · 26/09/2021 11:58

Take it up with the dicks.

OuiOuiBonjour · 26/09/2021 11:58

@Macncheeseballs

So me and a mate can't have a glass of wine on a weekend trip cos of some dicks who can't control themselves?
Of course you can have a glass of wine on your weekend trip Hmm.

Just not on the train. Why is that so awful to contemplate?

Macncheeseballs · 26/09/2021 12:02

The journey is part of the fun, a time to catch up, you want no alcohol because of some people who can't control themselves, why should the rest of us suffer

Moltenpink · 26/09/2021 12:03

Honestly I’ve had a season ticket at City for 30 years, and the male fans have been nothing but lovely to me and later on to my children, so I wouldn’t have felt intimidated. I get that it doesn’t make for a peaceful journey though! Was there a quiet coach to go to?

OuiOuiBonjour · 26/09/2021 12:03

@Macncheeseballs

The journey is part of the fun, a time to catch up, you want no alcohol because of some people who can't control themselves, why should the rest of us suffer
Why can you only have fun and catch up if there is alcohol involved?
AmericanTie · 26/09/2021 12:04

Meh, catch up with a cup of tea. Presumably you're not going to or from a dry town. You'll be ok. And other passengers will be safe.

discombobulatedonion · 26/09/2021 12:06

It pisses me off because it's such a patriotic sport. Football fans genuinely scare the shit out of me, whether they're being threatening/violent or just rowdy in general. I do not feel safe around football fans. If I know there's a football match on, I avoid going out as much as I can until the main hysteria passes.

Macncheeseballs · 26/09/2021 12:07

Ouioui, God how puritanical and judgemental you sound

Frostine · 26/09/2021 12:10

I had this before , abet a few years ago. It was a frightening experience .

Droite · 26/09/2021 12:14

@XenoBitch

YABU for thinking it is ok if they are young to be doing football chants, but not people in their 50/60s. People that age can still have a passion for things too.
But by your 40s most people have learnt that they can express their passions without loud chanting on public transport and necking endless cans of lager.
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 26/09/2021 12:14

I would have been uncomfortable too, because of the group size and the fact that they felt entitled to 'take over' the carriage with their gang. It is intimidating when group of people are loud and you're stuck with them on your own.

I think public transport should be alcohol-free - and a member of staff making their presence felt. Ugh.

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