What stupid things do you do that no one else knows about?

[FancySomeChips]

I used to be a party animal. LOVED clubbing every weekend (multiple times a week as a student), would dance for hours and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Tonight I am sitting in my cuddle chair putting chewits down my bra to warm them up before I eat them.
I’m home alone.

How life has changed.

Make me feel better, what weird stuff do you do that no one else knows about?!

My 2 cats definitely talk back to me. Both have a 20 Benson a day voice and regularly tell me to “Piss.Off”

I also walk into the old house i’m currently doing up and say hello, how are you to it’s empty walls. builders look at me oddly but I don’t give a shit.

If I'm scrolling through Facebook and I see a post with 349 likes (for example), I'll have to like it to round it up to 350, even if I don't actually like what they're posting about.

Ooh I don't use nail clippers, I just pick off the ends. Sometimes I literally pull the whole nail off, leaving a raw nail bed

I have a secret world in my head where I’m someone else. I’m a young girl with a different name to mine and I have a Belgian boyfriend who can dance. We go on amazing trips around Europe together and have fantastic sex. My characters are all very well developed as in their back stories and their family situations. In my head I have a fake dad and fake step mum called Laurie, a step sister called Chloe who is engaged to a man named fran who I don’t like.

I can spend hours working on a ‘script’ of what each character will say at a certain event or thing we do together.

I realise it’s insane. My real life husband has absolutely no idea but I’ve done this since I was a kid. It started off when I was in bed and didn’t want to go to sleep I’d recreate a scene from ‘neighbours’ or something id seen on tv and reenact it like I was one of the characters just quietly in my head.

Anyway I’m 37 now and still have a little fantasy world I go into before I go to sleep 😂

It’s so detailed I even know my characters birthdays and middle names.

We also have voices for the cats in our neighbourhood - the local Tom cat is Ray Winstone but our cat sounds like Freddie Flintoff.

We do the same for the pigeons who use our fence for their mating rituals. There was a right eastenders style drama going on with three of them earlier this year!

We also make up stories and do voice overs for other people when we are out and about. The park is the perfect place for this.

*I mark punctuation with tiny finger movements while people are talking.”

@moofolk, have you seen this? Victor Borg’s phonetic punctuation.

I've had many odd behaviours in the past, when I was a kid I'd draw the letters of the alphabet on the roof of my mouth with my tongue and if I didn't get all the way from A to Z I'd be in a hell of a state. Nowadays I do rap battles with myself in the house when I'm pottering and nobody is home. Thanks for the earworms Wild 'n Out

I like Fray Bentos beef pies. I also hide the tin after eating and certainly don’t admit this to the family.
I talk to my house, “ oh your looking good today”
I thank my car for a safe journey. I don’t leave one thing on a shop shelf as it may get lonely, same with food on the plate. It’s reassuring to read that others do similar.

@StorminaBcup

I can’t eat kitkats or bounties in public as I nibble all of the chocolate off them first and then just eat the middle.

I do this with a twix

I play hide and seek with my small dogs. If one is chilling out of sight of one I say to the other one, 'Where's X?' and watch her run about looking puzzled and act all pleased and go 'clever girl' when she 'finds' the other one.

It's highly amusing if one of them is off for a groom or at the vets when the other is at home too.

@Bullsh

My current favourite is to the tune of 'you are my sunshine' to my boy Fergus. " You are my Fergface, my furry Fergface. You make me happy, la la la la. Your furry tum tum, your furry bum bum, please don't take my Fergface away...

That is brilliant!!

Oh Christ, our (absolutely) flipping lovely Leader plays this at Music Bugs when she blows bubbles and emotionally I just completely loose it 😭

@Neron

If there's 2 items left on a shelf, that I only need to purchase 1 of - I have to take them both. Can't leave 1, it will get lonely...

Ditto! 😂😂

i eat a pack of four dime bars in one go when everyone is out

I once sang the Winnie the Pooh song "Chubby little tubby all stuffed with fluff" while jiggling my female rabbit's bum with both hands. She bit me. I don't know if it was the jiggling or the singing she didn't like.

Thats a brilliant idea with the chewits tho!!
Puts on bra in preparation

@Flufferty

I arrange sentences into alphabetical order. eg Alphabetical arrange I into order sentences

Oh god, I never thought to do this, but now I'm going to have to start doing it.

@pigsDOfly I do this. All 3 of my dogs have different voices.

I forget where I am and will talk to them and answer in their voice in public.

Walking across the road the other night - me "did you see that hedgehog Milo"

Milo "wes, wes indeed I did Mummyz" teenagers standing on the corner 🤦‍♀️ Milo can't say yes apparently

Save crisps (usually prawn cocktail) with the most flavour on my knee to eat last.

@thestarvingcaterpillar my JRT has an Irish accent. Yours must be a Jacques Russelle 😂

Like everyone else on this thread, I talk/sing to the cat. She is fascinated by the gas oven “catching”, and I keep her between my knees while telling her if she goes in, it will cook her like a chicken. We also have a routine where I say to her “would you like a little Dreamie?”, she miaows, and I say “you ARE my little Dreamie!”. On rainy days, she is my “little wet Dreamie”.

I’m quite proud of this one, but I also trained her to sit on command, purely because DP told me it was not possible to train a cat. He is wrong.

DP and I have a lot of “inside only” stuff, mainly with made-up verbs. Will you dinner the cat, I have outed the bin, bacon me. After lockdown I was quite concerned about us re-entering society.

@Chesneyhawkes1 Sounds like your Milo has a similar way of speaking to my dog.

My dog talks in a little girl voice and there's a lot of words she's doesn't pronounce correctly.

The trouble is she's had that voice for the last 10 years and, seriously, I keep thinking that now she's quite old it's time I gave her a proper grown up dog voice, as any sensible person would, but I just can't seem to change it and every time she speaks it comes out the same.

I think I need help

letsleepingbabieslie. Wouldn’t they be imaginary enemies rather than friends ?

I eat chocolate bars by cutting them up into tiny cubes and then spearing them with the knife to put them in my mouth - I don't know why, I just like it - works really well with Frys Turkish delight

I love this - just gaged it my tea. Thanks for this mornings giggle

StorminaBcup

Darked on? Nooooooo!