What stupid things do you do that no one else knows about?

[FancySomeChips]

I used to be a party animal. LOVED clubbing every weekend (multiple times a week as a student), would dance for hours and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Tonight I am sitting in my cuddle chair putting chewits down my bra to warm them up before I eat them.
I’m home alone.

How life has changed.

Make me feel better, what weird stuff do you do that no one else knows about?!

When I’m walking on my own I have a Crimewatch reconstruction voice playing in my head, narrating my “last moments” as if I’m about to be murdered.

I talk to my cats but they mostly ignore me.

I’d never put anything in my bra though. I have ADHD and I’d forget about it until discovering the inevitable disgusting mess hours later.

I still hug my 76 year old teddy who sits on my bed -. He looks sad and I feel sorry for him as he is bald in places .

My cat is called Kai. For some reason, my sister started calling him KaiserChief. I have two little tunes that I’ll sometimes sing to him.

One is “Kaiser cChief, de loo de loo de loo, Kaiser Chieeef” to the tune of Dangermouse.

The other is KaiserChief, KaiserChief, does whatever a KaiserChief does”. Am guessing most people will know the tune that one is based on.

Also, when I call him in hell come bounding up from the bottom of the garden. At which point I can’t help singing “Born Free, as free as the wind blows”. My neighbour must think I’m nuts 🤣🐾

When play time commences with the cat I draw a lightening bolt on her head with her stick toy and shout Harry Potter. She then goes mental. Everytime without fail.

@StorminaBcup

I can’t eat kitkats or bounties in public as I nibble all of the chocolate off them first and then just eat the middle.

Snap!

I interview myself and find myself fascinating. I also like to watch you tube unboxing videos for things I want and can’t afford, living vicariously through others

@ConsulTremas

I have a secret, shameful love for Fray Bentos pies. I don’t do it often but sometimes if I’m home alone and I know everyone will be out for bit, I go buy one, cook it and eat it. I then dispose of the packaging so no-one will ever know.

Oh God I want a Fray Bentos pie now, haven't had one for years

Pick out a strand of hair and floss with it.
Give geese the finger. I hate geese.
I really enjoy popping out the lense of my glasses and cleaning the rim of the lens.
Smell my ear wax.

The interviewing thing is one of my faves!
Sometimes if I forget to take earphones out with me, I make up an extensive podcast show in my head and interview myself about topics I'm interested in.

@Neron

If there's 2 items left on a shelf, that I only need to purchase 1 of - I have to take them both. Can't leave 1, it will get lonely...

I do this with baked beans - can't leave just one in the tin!

@IceLace100

I thank inanimate objects.

"Thank you washing machine" as I'm taking my washing out.

"Thank you Barry" (the cars name is Barry obv)

"Thank you hair tie, you held up my hair all day. Well done.

This reminds me of the most wholesome, lovely thing I saw this week. Someone on Bake Off saying "Good luck in there!" as they put their cake in the oven. 😭

@Notsandwiches

If someone completes a jigsaw in our house my youngest child dances on it - it was my way of involving her when she was too young to actually do jigsaws. She's 11 and we still do it. Her older sister said it was only recently she realised other families don't do this.

@Notsandwiches, this is so wholesome. I love it.

Great thread, OP!

On the singing to dogs custom
I sing Copacabana to my dogs and change the lyrics to suit my girl and boy dogs
Her name was Bonnie-she was a show girl- but that was 30 years ago when she used to be in show… you get the idea!

Defo to singing to the dog. Made up songs about her brilliantness. Get my husband to do things thru the dog eg “Mummy says she is going to leave your sorry ass if you don’t go to the shop immediately and get her chocolate. Get me chews while you’re there” kind of thing.

I get up in the middle of the night ant eat

@Imfinallyhappy1

I like applying for jobs and interviewing. I have no intention of taking the job as I love where I work but I love prepping and asking questions and the general interview process.

This is the first reply that I have read that I think is genuinely weird!!

Quite a lot of these.
I can't hang my feet out of bed no matter how hot I am because the crazed chainsaw guy will want them.

The lonely thing, say i'm doing dinner and a piece of pasta falls..I can't throw it away alone, so i'll throw another piece away to keep it company, then agonise over whether it was fair to the second piece, because there was nothing wrong with it.

I talk to my cats, and wave when they walk past me.

I tell off my robot vacuum when he gets stuck as if he's a child.

I feel mean if I don't say thankyou to Alexa, but powerful at the same time.

It's no wonder i'm single!

I give nicknames to the regulars I see on the drive to work and have a whole back story for each of them.

Surely everyone talks to their pets? I'd find it odder if you didn't.

I sing the grand old Duke of York to my lab. He loves it 🤣🤣
I also give out to things that resist me. So if the hoover gets stuck , I tell it its an asshole 🙈🙈
I also sometimes reply to the TV or radio , this comes from my nan , who's own mother used to do it because she couldn't understand that the people on the TV or radio couldn't hear her.

I also can't help but slightly mimic other people's style of talking and the way they talk. As in speed, tone. And the language they use

@Cupcakeschocolate This is called code switching - most people do it to a limited extent but some like you (and me and my dad!) do it a lot more. We both do the singing like the singers thing too.

If someone walking a dog steps aside to let me pass I thank both the person and the dog (I’m more effusive in my thanks of the dog) if I go past a dog and they go for me (usually little yappy ones whilst I’m running) I’ll say ooh someone’s in a bad mood,