What stupid things do you do that no one else knows about?

[FancySomeChips]

I used to be a party animal. LOVED clubbing every weekend (multiple times a week as a student), would dance for hours and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Tonight I am sitting in my cuddle chair putting chewits down my bra to warm them up before I eat them.
I’m home alone.

How life has changed.

Make me feel better, what weird stuff do you do that no one else knows about?!

Oh just realised it was things that no one else knows about!! Sorry.

[quote MrsLCSofLichfield]@SapphireSeptember - I'm glad it's not just me! I tend to use 'beautiful' for crows and 'gorgeous' for magpies

My MIL used to say "Good morning/afternoon/evening Mr Magpie, how is your wife today?" DH says it's a superstitious thing, warding off bad luck. I got the whole greeting corvids thing from her and have now been doing it for a quarter of a century![/quote]
Yes I do this too, and always give them a little salute.
I think it comes from the "one for sorrow, two for joy" thing. If you see a magpie on its own, it forecasts sorrow, so you ward it off by asking how his wife is (IE, how's the second magpie - joy)
I might be wrong though. I'm not 'woo' in the slightest but God help me if I don't salute at a lone magpie

I narrate my beauty/make up routine as if I’m some sort of YouTube vlogger. Usually in my head, but if I’m alone I sometimes do it out loud.

@feathermucker

If I'm using 'ok Google' or Alexa, I always say please 😳

Me too and my dh thought I was ridiculous . No. I just have manners .

I talk to my cats and the dog. That's basic care there. How can you have an animal and not talk to them?.

I did have another but the way the thread has gone I think I'll stop there.

@RockingAmadeus

I change the words and sing “Copacabana” to my cat every day

I do this to the dog, because he shares a name with one of the characters in the song.

@SecretKeeper1 alas, my husband also doesn't understand. He tells me objects have no feelings therefore 1 item left on a shelf won't get lonely.
I think I need to LTB!

(I also love how many more of you are like me)

@Neron

If there's 2 items left on a shelf, that I only need to purchase 1 of - I have to take them both. Can't leave 1, it will get lonely...

Are you my daughter?! She’s always done this with any item that has a face. Toys ornaments etc. Can’t leave one behind to get lonely. Often seeks out something similar in the shop to pair up the last one with

I’m the complete opposite!
If I need 2 of something and there’s only 2 left I leave one as I worry I will be leaving someone else without any.

[quote LemonSherbetFancies]@LethimHaveIt
Laughing so hard at yours. Totally brilliant, the imagery is too funny [/quote]
@LemonSherbetFancies

In common with some PP, I too am built along 'sturdy' lines, so I probably look ridiculous. But in my mind I would not be out of place among Ri-Ri's tour dancers 😂

I pray to the Traffic Light God, particularly on one part of the school run, long straight dual carriageway with TL about a mile from beginning of the straight. If it’s green I drive towards it saying “Please, please, please” and if I get through without having to stop I then say, “Thank you!”

Loving this thread so much!

Just remembered, I still crush egg shells so witches can't sail to sea and sink ships, remember it being a book when I was a child but I still do it, never told anyone I do that!

We think we are the only one that does it but picking up a bottle of shampoo or shower gel in the bathroom and talking about it in your head as if you are selling it on a shopping channel.

We do all do that?

I meow if I think of something that I've done that makes me cringe

I like to hug the occasional tree. I also have a little chat with them now and again if I happen to be sitting by one. Nothing too deep just to ask if it minds me leaning on it etc. I always do a quick check to make sure no ones around first but I'm bound to be caught doing it one day!

If I say the word "monkey" it has to be done in my special monkey voice based on the iconic 70's show. Luckily my DP often joins in with special cloud noises from the show. All the young adults / teens in our life think we are super cool and love us to meet their friends!!

@MoltenLasagne

When I listen to music whilst walking down the street I like to imagine I'm in a music video like The Verve... although I haven't yet walked over any cars.

If I get up for the loo in the night I absolutely cannot look in the mirror when I wash my hands because I'm convinced there's going to be someone standing behind me. But for some reason if I don't look they won't be there.

Any chance you have a long lost twin? She's right here if you do!

@adoreyou

My husband and I have rescued abandoned cuddly toys before and are known as "the teddy bear rescue" teddies. They'd been left on the pavement, in the cold and rain... so went out run night and picked them up!

We also name our cars, and I cry whenever we sell them. 🥺

Did you ever find a Piglet? About 15 years ago?

@BaronessKareness

I remember having a long and detailed chat with my DH about wether the dogs’ voice would be in German if (and when😮) she ever spoke! ( German Shepherd Dog ) It then developed into wether she would have a girly voice - as she was so ‘pretty’ and fluffy and girly looking… or wether it would be a gruff barky dog sort of voice… It was a serious discussion… The subject of this discussion was asleep on the sofa next to us!

DH and I once had a very lengthy discussions about what our dogs favourite drinks would be. We decided our stern male rescue would go for a Tom Collins and our very fluffy and slightly doolally girl dog would go for a Babycham.

@OuiOuiBonjour

I do an AMAZING Morag from Married at First Sight by the way, especially her high pitched, nasal sobbing. I've been practising that one all week and I'm just waiting for her to come up in conversation so I can give her her debut.

I think she's my finest creation yet.

Please don't. One of her is all the world needs. Take that particular skill to your grave.

@SisyphusDad
It's a ruse to get him away from the back door. He likes to sit in the open doorway and look out at his territory for ages and I get cold.
No cat has ever refused dreamies, I know!

I feel terrible if something doesn’t fulfil its purpose in life - say, an apple gets left too long and no one wants to eat it, or a bit of the newspaper doesn’t get read by anyone - and I sort of mentally say sorry and commiserate with it as I’m throwing it out. It feels like the thing’s whole existence has been pointless and I feel bad for it.

Slightly worry I’m trying to manage my own existential crisis by apologising to mouldy blueberries …

@Datsandcogs

I pray to the Traffic Light God, particularly on one part of the school run, long straight dual carriageway with TL about a mile from beginning of the straight. If it’s green I drive towards it saying “Please, please, please” and if I get through without having to stop I then say, “Thank you!”

Oh yes!! I do this with level crossings. There are loads of level crossings around where I work, you can get stuck at one of 25 mins at certain times of day. Lots of passenger and freight routes.

I've namechanged for this because 1 of my D.C. is on MN and this could out me!

When the children were little, if I had to go away overnight or for a few days I would fill up a 'kiss box' for them. This highly technical practice involved making multiple kiss noises into a small ornamental box and then slamming the lid on quickly so the kisses couldn't get away. The children would keep them under their pillows and take a few kisses out every evening or as required.

That sounds mad enough but the DC genuinely believed in these boxes and on one trip my mum reported that there had been tears because one child had stolen some of the other ones kisses! That was when we made the amazing discovery that kiss boxes could be refilled down a phone line. This was pre mobile phones so I have a surreal memory of standing in the middle of a bustling Vegas casino on a pay phone blowing endless kisses down the line to fill up the kiss box of a small child who was desperately trying to delay bedtime by repeatedly telling me it still wasn't full.

Whenever dh or I get a new (to us) car, we have to drive it over a local switchbacky mountain road, pretending to be in a 1990s car advert. Dad rock on the stereo, Jeremy Clarkson style narrative. No one outside this household knows we do this!