DH left me to clear up the sh*t

[Aw273]

I am raging!! My ‘d’ H had to leave early this morning for a job, needs a bit of time to set up so left we’ll in advance. I come down later with the baby to find that the dog has left diarrhoea all over the kitchen, and DH has left without cleaning it up. I had agreed to help him with something for one of his clients tomorrow but now I don’t feel like I want to do it.
He says he didn’t have time and couldn’t find the poop scooper (he refuses to pick up pop with his hands anyway so I have to do it when we go out for walks without the scoop). I don’t buy this as he left plenty of time, could have called me down to help or at least warned me!!!

So AIBU - yes, you should still help him as promised
No- he doesn’t deserve it.

Happy to receive suggestions for other suitable punishments!

He needed about an hour to set up, he’d left himself 2 hours to be safe. He definitely had time!

Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face

You’d actually leave dog diarrhoea all day in your kitchen to prove a point? Bloody hell - this is not a happy marriage

It was an event
Presumably he was dressed in smart work clothing?

I get it. Although I would ha e sent a text to say “I am so sorry to have left you with dog mess in the kitchen. I had to leave and I was dressed for the event. I will make it up to you tonight - will bring back favourite take away a a you have the longest bath you’ve ever had whilst I put the baby to bed. Sorry x”

@Aw273

He needed about an hour to set up, he’d left himself 2 hours to be safe. He definitely had time!

Well that’s really disgusting and it shows a lack of respect towards you! Unbelievable!!

It sounds like he needs to invest in marigolds and a few more pooper scoopers, just to have hanging around the house so he has no excuse next time.

I’d understand it if he was pushed for time and couldn’t spend a good five mins disinfecting the place. And he may not have wakened you as you were having a good sleep.

But I’d be damn sure I’d be sitting him down later tonight and telling him that if HE keeps feeding the dog scraps which give it the skitters HE will be picking up said skitters next time. And he better not start any winging about it as it’s HIS fault.

I’d still help him if I’d promised to though as it’s childish not to. But he’s know I wasnt best pleased. And a repeat of that behaviour would have serious consequences.

Poor dog being put out in the cold and rain when it already wasnt feeling well. He shouldn’t feed it rubbish. It’s not fair on it. It doesn’t know any better. He does. Idiot.

Kennel. Dog outdoors until this is nipped in the bud. No one needs that in their kitchen.

@BrendaBubbles

Kennel. Dog outdoors until this is nipped in the bud. No one needs that in their kitchen.

Why should the dog and the OP suffer when it's the husband feeding the dog scraps that make it sick? Put the DH in a kennel.

Whose dog is it?
I dont like dogs, dh insisted on having one, i totally refused to clean up its shit. not my dog. I would have warned him it needed doing though.

He’s a dick. He’s basically told you that he’s too important and that it’s you’re job to shovel the shit. That’s what he thinks of you.

Dog is both of ours, but I did ask DH to take the lead with him when I had DC to take some of the mental load off me. We have to split jobs around the house and I absolutely refuse to do his because if I do it once then he stops… for another thread! Obviously I don’t take that approach when it comes to the dog, so end up doing most of it anyway!

Who fed the scraps to the poor dog

(I think I know the answer...)

Ugh this is why I’ll never have an animal.

YANBU though. He clearly didn’t even bother shouting up to warn you as he knew you’d need help to clean it up and he would end up doing the lion’s share.

@BruceAndNosh

Who fed the scraps to the poor dog

(I think I know the answer...)

Actually in this occasion I think it was MIL… both of them have difficulty understanding the concept that it isn’t a treat if it makes the dog unwell!!

You've got plenty of time to clean it up while he's working.

I am baffled as to how coming downstairs "with a baby" (no less) makes the dog shit so difficult to clean up.

Just clean it up and have done

What a repulsive arrogant teat he is OP.

Why is it automatically the responsibility of the person who happened or in this case needed to get up first?

@LesleyA

Why is it automatically the responsibility of the person who happened or in this case needed to get up first?

Because normal, functional adults don't want to leave feces lying around their home any longer than necessary.

I'm not particularly house-proud but I don't leave steaming piles of shit to fester.

So you effectively dod overtime on childcare so he could do overtime for hobby money? Mate, id be insisting on that going into the joint account or AT FUCKING LEAST make a point of getting a cleaner for an hour next week to "buy back" the hour you needed to scrub the shit and wash yourself and juggle baby. He'll soon change when it costs him money.

Id have also left him a message that i was going out for the day and as i didnt feed scraps that he or MIL need to clean it up before you get home.

I definitely would not be helping him with whatever it was you agreed to for starters, he sounds like a thoughtless sod regarding the dog mess and I would be telling him so later, you have enough to do with yourself, the baby and the house.

I would be telling him the dog is his responsibility as you have enough to do.

Ha, yeah OP, you have plenty of time to clean it up...i hope youve also cleaned the rest of the house, done the shopping and prepared a dinner for him in good time to do your hair and make up so you can flutter your eyelashes at this prize and hang off his every word because hes done such a good job going out and being the man. I hope you show your appreciation in the bedroom and get up in good time tomorrow to make him a bacon sandwich before starting the roast dinner.

I would be absolutely bloody furious…how disrespectful..now you know where your place is OP !

I think you need to sit down with him and say that today has proved his expensive hobby is not compatible with your family life and in fact it's ruining your weekends so it needs to stop.

1. He has to work extra hours at the weekend to support it, leaving you to parent alone.

1. His extra work means that he has "no time" to fulfil his part of the relationship deal (I.e. he deals with the dog stuff and you deal with the kids)

1. Presumably he then takes further time away from the family to actually pursue his hobby.

1. It was HIS mother who caused the issue in the first place, so HE should be responsible for clearing up the (quite literal) fall out, regardless of whose job dog-care was.

I'd stand firm on this and say no more extra work, no more hobby as he clearly can't be a family man and contribute his fair share whilst he's doing that.

You've been very accommodating, not only supporting the time he spends on his hobby, but also the time he spends working for it AND helping doing his work for it as well (after you've been solo parenting for the day).

He's been treating you like a complete mug and leaving you to clean up the shit this morning should really be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

How often do you go out on your (without DC in tow) for your own hobbies/enjoyment OP?

He's made a decision his time is more valuable than yours. That's incredibly disrespectful.

How does he cope with changing nappies and wiping baby's bum if he can't deal with picking up a dog poo without a scoop?

He could have at least given you fair warning (even if it was just an apologetic phone call as he was leaving) if he genuinely didn't have time to clean it up.