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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH left me to clear up the sh*t

115 replies

Aw273 · 25/09/2021 09:39

I am raging!! My ‘d’ H had to leave early this morning for a job, needs a bit of time to set up so left we’ll in advance. I come down later with the baby to find that the dog has left diarrhoea all over the kitchen, and DH has left without cleaning it up. I had agreed to help him with something for one of his clients tomorrow but now I don’t feel like I want to do it.
He says he didn’t have time and couldn’t find the poop scooper (he refuses to pick up pop with his hands anyway so I have to do it when we go out for walks without the scoop). I don’t buy this as he left plenty of time, could have called me down to help or at least warned me!!!

So AIBU - yes, you should still help him as promised
No- he doesn’t deserve it.

Happy to receive suggestions for other suitable punishments!

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 25/09/2021 15:22

Yanbu but this is part and parcel of having a dog. These things can and do happen and to be fair if I had had a job and thus to prepare quite early, I too wouldn't have wanted to spend the morning clearing up dog shit.

timeisnotaline · 25/09/2021 15:25

He didn’t want to do it so he left. He’d have messaged you otherwise in a stressed hurry as he dashed out the door. I feel this way
I wouldn't help him tomorrow with client as I would say " I don't feel valued in the slightest when you think I am the only one that should clean up dog poop in the house. So I will do only things I want to now, I probably won't feel like doing things for you .. like shopping, cooking for washing .."

Then wait for the penny to drop as I bet he'll be very apologetic quite quickly

I'd have my quiet few days of saying (in Eeorye voice) "I don't feel valued so why would I ?" until he gets the point!! 😝

LimitIsUp · 25/09/2021 15:25

I am going to advise my 19 year old dd NEVER to get married to (or indeed live with) a man.

Naunet · 25/09/2021 15:26

@VladmirsPoutine

Yanbu but this is part and parcel of having a dog. These things can and do happen and to be fair if I had had a job and thus to prepare quite early, I too wouldn't have wanted to spend the morning clearing up dog shit.
No one WANTS to clean up dog shit at any time, but like you said, that’s part and parcel of having a dog.
Peanutsandchilli · 25/09/2021 15:27

Yes, he should have told you, but if you'd have had a go at him for not clearing it up then maybe he was trying to dodge a bullet. He got up early to go to work, presumably for the benefit of your family. I assume the dog is yours too, and therefore are responsible for cleaning up, baby or not. I don't blame him for not wanting to go to work stinking of dog poo, and diarrhoea isn't the easiest to clean up.

Always the same on here.

1forAll74 · 25/09/2021 15:28

If it was just a one off thing, I would have done the cleaning up of the dog mess myself. Don't see the point of making a big issue about such things in the home.

skodadoda · 25/09/2021 15:29

@Buttetflybookkeeper

Did he not even tell you? Angry

Are you sure it happened when he was home?

Read OP’s OP!
VladmirsPoutine · 25/09/2021 15:30

@LimitIsUp

I am going to advise my 19 year old dd NEVER to get married to (or indeed live with) a man.
I don't know if you're being facetious or not but this is excellent advice. Seriously look it up unmarried, childfree women report greater levels of overall happiness in their lives and have longer life spans. Thinking about it in the abstract a life with a baby and a husband and a dog sounds lovely but when you look at the responsibility all that brings it starts to become less appealing for reasons such as this - the mundane things; not even things like cheating/affairs or whatever. Young women should be well warned!!!
Naunet · 25/09/2021 15:32

@Peanutsandchilli

Yes, he should have told you, but if you'd have had a go at him for not clearing it up then maybe he was trying to dodge a bullet. He got up early to go to work, presumably for the benefit of your family. I assume the dog is yours too, and therefore are responsible for cleaning up, baby or not. I don't blame him for not wanting to go to work stinking of dog poo, and diarrhoea isn't the easiest to clean up.

Always the same on here.

Amazing!!

So the big brave important man got up early to go to work for the benefit of your family. But you OP, at home looking after your baby, are a purely selfish, lazy sod, doing nothing for the family, so go clean up the shit, your husband is far too important.

Apparently it would have left him smelling of shit too, which would be terrible for him, but either you’re resistant to the same smell transfer, or it’s fine for your baby to then be around you smelling of it!

Poor, poor menz.☹️

FlowerArranger · 25/09/2021 15:33

The dog does sometimes have accidents when fed scraps (which I don’t agree with)

Quite apart from the cleaning up dog shut issue, you absolutely have to put your foot down in this!

FlowerArranger · 25/09/2021 15:35

Shit, not shut - obviously!

My tablet can't cope with swearing as it had led a sheltered life before I inherited it.
And on, not in...
As you were Wink

LimitIsUp · 25/09/2021 15:35

VladmirsPoutine
I am deadly serious

BrilloPaddy · 25/09/2021 15:36

How long was the poor dog locked out for Sad

If he had the time to clear it up and chose not to........ he's a dick.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/09/2021 15:36

--Perhaps you should feed your dh scraps of dog poo—

kakeya97 · 25/09/2021 15:37

yanbu. even if for whatever reason he didn't have time to clean it up, he could have come up to warm you about it so you could have got up to clean it before baby wakes - which you shouldn't have had to do anyway and he should have cleaned up.

we have a dog. if dp did this i would have been fuming.

Stovetopespresso · 25/09/2021 15:37

oh god we used to have this about once a month with our old dog. if one of us was up early or running really late and really couldn't do it there would at least be an apologetic message with a promise to do it next time.

sounds entitled behaviour imo

Beautiful3 · 25/09/2021 15:38

Thats lazy and disgusting. He didn't even tell you about it! Eww. I wouldn't help tomorrow as punishment.

LukeEvansWife · 25/09/2021 15:38

Gross but 'punishment'? Hmm Fucking hell, that kind on infantilising language is appalling

BurntO · 25/09/2021 15:39

I’d be FUMING. I bet you aren’t the one feeding the scraps either….

BurntO · 25/09/2021 15:40

@VladmirsPoutine no one wants to spend the morning cleaning up dog shit.

girlmom21 · 25/09/2021 15:43

I'd have expected him to shout upstairs and tell you, more so because doggo was stuck out in the garden.

He's a massive dick.

Would not helping him tomorrow be detrimental to his work though? There's no point biting your nose off to spite your face.

icedcoffees · 25/09/2021 15:45

@VladmirsPoutine

Yanbu but this is part and parcel of having a dog. These things can and do happen and to be fair if I had had a job and thus to prepare quite early, I too wouldn't have wanted to spend the morning clearing up dog shit.
Nobody WANTS to spend their morning cleaning up dog shit, but that's kind of what you sign up for when you get a dog. Sometimes they get unwell and have accidents, and that means cleaning it up - not just walking past and leaving it for someone else to deal with.
ManifestingJoy · 25/09/2021 15:46

I would say ''next dog shit is YOURS''

LukeEvansWife · 25/09/2021 15:47

Perhaps stop his pocket money for a week. Or don't let him play out with his mates Hmm

ManifestingJoy · 25/09/2021 15:47

@thereisonlyoneofme

A friend of mine went home to find a pile of dog poo in the hall with four shoes carefully arranged round it, OH was at home at the time
Oh. My. God
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