Prince Harry - something bugging me...

[StinkingCold]

Sorry, another Harry thread

Anyway, couple of things have been really bugging me recently...

1. He is getting paid 6 figures to be some advisor of a mental health charity

1. He has had 4 years therapy and is encouraging everyone else to get help like him

Now...here's my gripes!!...

1. What qualifications does he have to earn this salary as a mental health advisor?????? I've worked in mental health over 20 years, have an undergrad, MSc and Doctorate in a mh field, and have lectured on aspects of MH in my field. Despite my qualifications and experience, I would not consider myself qualified for a 6-figure salaried advisory post on mental health. So with zero qualifications or experience, how the hec does Harry think he is qualified to earn a six figure salary advising on the topic????? It just feels so naive and arrogant.

1. Good for you Harry, having 4 years therapy. Now in the real world, there is not 1 single NHS trust in the entire country likely to offer 4 years of therapy, or even 2, or even 1. Very difficult to even access 6 months or 3 months. Even for people who really really need it. I'm talking high risk, or whose functioning is severely impacted by their mental.health. The reality when you "seek help" for you mental health is a massive wait list followed by 6 sessions of guided self help over the phone. If you are really 'lucky' you might also be allowed to attend a short group programme of 6 sessions, maybe 12, probably on zoom. If you miss a couple.of appointments because you didn't get the letter, or phone was broken, or you were simply too unwell to get to your appointments, you'll probably lose the offer of the group or guided self help. If you have endured long and complex, multiple trauma, are self harming frequently, and drinking alot and overdosing - you might get offered 12 or 24 sessions of (probably group, maybe online only) DBT - but only if you really beg and show you are very very keen and won't miss any sessions. For most people, there is simply nothing. Maybe a referral to a charity for 4 sessions of counselling.

What planet are you on Harry. I wish wish wish you would realise how privileged you are to indulge yourself in 4 years of therapy, and that you could recognise your privilege. Wouldn't it be great if you could use you power and privilege to actually change the mental health system (in the UK) and advocate for more availability of therapeutic services, and maybe even donate large sums of cash to making therapy more available and accessible to the masses. I don't want to hear anymore about how therapy changed you, opened your eyes etc... Most of us simply.cant afford to go private, and the NHS is at breaking point and can't offer what is needed

Telling him that she was planning to kill herslef just before a public event in my mind is extremely manipulative

Fuck. What a revolting comment.

However he just doesn’t understand what pressures services are under, and what a luxury it is for someone like him to be able to afford the best help money can buy.
I had hypermesis a couple of years before Kate. The medical treatment she received was light years away from what I got on the NHS. That is not her fault or her responsibility and I didn't start hate threads at the time ranting about how she should acknowledge her privilege etc. I do think it's a shame that she didn't take the opportunity to make the condition better known and to change perceptions of it both in the general public and the medical profession. It would cost her nothing but there you go.

Harry isn't a pauper and wasn't when he left, and will never be.

Good. He can continue to afford security for his family and piss off the people who want him to fall flat on his face then.

@MythicalBiologicalFennel just out of interest, what treatment did Kate have more HG and how do you know?

I am currently suffering from HG, and on the NHS I have been prescribed anti sickness medication, regular check ups with my GP, admission to hospital for IV fluids and IV anti sickness meds. It’s been horrific, but I’m not sure what else can be done?

*for HG

Hi Derbee

You are correct on your unspoken implication that I don't know. I'm just assuming.

I understand KM was dehydrated and retching the first time she was admitted to hospital.

I'm assuming doctors didn't wait until she was throwing up blood before she was admitted.

Assuming she didn't have ketones of 3+ like me.

Assuming she didn't lose 10% of her weight in 10 days.

Assuming she didn't wake up in the night because her bed was flooded with IV fluid because the nurse had been fiddling with the canula that the phlebotomist had done a superb job with.

Assuming the nurses didn't forget to give her her IV fluids.

Assuming she could sleep in the night, because there wasn't a terrified old lady with dementia across the corridor, screaming and crying; that scared nurses wouldn't barge into her 6-person ward in the night, frantically looking for the registrar because something had gone very wrong during a delivery; assuming there wasn't a teenage couple in the next bed to her, having sex, the girl in early labour.

I'm assuming the staff knew who she was and they didn't just stick their head through the door and bark: MIDDLETON? IS MIDDLETON HERE?

I'm assuming the nurses made sure she had access to food so she could try to eat, and that she didn't miss any meals. I'm assuming that she wasn't expected to walk to the refectory (hospital rules, you see) even though she might have been far too weak to stand up, let alone walk the distance dragging an IV, or simply passed out from the drugs.

I'm assuming some nurses didn't treat her like a nuisance and / or a piece of dirt.

I'm assuming the discharging nurse didn't say, in horror, "we can't give you any medication, have you not heard of thalidomide?", having spent days in hospital being pumped full of life-saving drugs without any explanation regarding their side effects or possible effects on your baby.

I'm assuming she wasn't discharged without medication, being told by the doctor to "eat little and often and try ginger", only to be admitted in an even worse state a couple of days later.

I'm assuming she didn't have to drag herself to work, a mixture of being high on cyclizine and constantly nauseous, taking trips to the office toilet to painfully spit out bile several times a day. She always looked pretty good after her treatment. Again, assuming.

I'm assuming that she didn't have to shop for food or cook, when even thinking about some foods would make you throw up violently.

I'm assuming people didn't look down on her, patronise her or puzzle about "how bad can it be really? I used to eat crackers and blah blah blah" or "it won't happen with your second because you will be too busy".

So yep. I have assumed that KM's experience of hypermesis was different to mine. The bottom line for me is that the treatment I had saved my life and my child's, and most of the healthcare professionals were wonderful.

Sorry to hear you are suffering with this horrible condition. I hope it passes quickly.

I love the defenders, they make me laugh.

M wanted mental health help and them being told no is complete and utter bullshit. Just that alone makes me think whaaaaaat.

I remember the wedding being lovely and me and DD watching with tea and cake….then it just all went weird with them both and I’m not quit sure why. They had so much good will and now they look silly.

Now in the real world, there is not 1 single NHS trust in the entire country likely to offer 4 years of therapy, or even 2, or even 1. Very difficult to even access 6 months or 3 months

Not strictly true. I work in NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde in a Psychotherapy dept, our waiting lists ha e been affected by Covid but are running about 3 to 4 months now for an assessment, I can then see someone within a few weeks for treatment. Average is 6 months, can be a year, MBT fir BPD is 18 months. So it will depend where you are.

It would surely be a lot more useful if Harry gave his fortune to a mental health charity.

@MythicalBiologicalFennel what a terrible account. Feel for you reading this.

@MythicalBiologicalFennel

Hi Derbee

You are correct on your unspoken implication that I don't know. I'm just assuming.

I understand KM was dehydrated and retching the first time she was admitted to hospital.

I'm assuming doctors didn't wait until she was throwing up blood before she was admitted.

Assuming she didn't have ketones of 3+ like me.

Assuming she didn't lose 10% of her weight in 10 days.

Assuming she didn't wake up in the night because her bed was flooded with IV fluid because the nurse had been fiddling with the canula that the phlebotomist had done a superb job with.

Assuming the nurses didn't forget to give her her IV fluids.

Assuming she could sleep in the night, because there wasn't a terrified old lady with dementia across the corridor, screaming and crying; that scared nurses wouldn't barge into her 6-person ward in the night, frantically looking for the registrar because something had gone very wrong during a delivery; assuming there wasn't a teenage couple in the next bed to her, having sex, the girl in early labour.

I'm assuming the staff knew who she was and they didn't just stick their head through the door and bark: MIDDLETON? IS MIDDLETON HERE?

I'm assuming the nurses made sure she had access to food so she could try to eat, and that she didn't miss any meals. I'm assuming that she wasn't expected to walk to the refectory (hospital rules, you see) even though she might have been far too weak to stand up, let alone walk the distance dragging an IV, or simply passed out from the drugs.

I'm assuming some nurses didn't treat her like a nuisance and / or a piece of dirt.

I'm assuming the discharging nurse didn't say, in horror, "we can't give you any medication, have you not heard of thalidomide?", having spent days in hospital being pumped full of life-saving drugs without any explanation regarding their side effects or possible effects on your baby.

I'm assuming she wasn't discharged without medication, being told by the doctor to "eat little and often and try ginger", only to be admitted in an even worse state a couple of days later.

I'm assuming she didn't have to drag herself to work, a mixture of being high on cyclizine and constantly nauseous, taking trips to the office toilet to painfully spit out bile several times a day. She always looked pretty good after her treatment. Again, assuming.

I'm assuming that she didn't have to shop for food or cook, when even thinking about some foods would make you throw up violently.

I'm assuming people didn't look down on her, patronise her or puzzle about "how bad can it be really? I used to eat crackers and blah blah blah" or "it won't happen with your second because you will be too busy".

So yep. I have assumed that KM's experience of hypermesis was different to mine. The bottom line for me is that the treatment I had saved my life and my child's, and most of the healthcare professionals were wonderful.

Sorry to hear you are suffering with this horrible condition. I hope it passes quickly.

My God, you poor thing! I had HG, it was in the early 90's, and not well understood. I wasn't as bad as you, I think I would have done away with myself, I just got through it and no more. It is an absolutely terrible thing to deal with and unless you have had it I don't think you can really understand it.

@Snog

It would surely be a lot more useful if Harry gave his fortune to a mental health charity.

It would be swallowed up in no time.

He probably does give decent amounts to a mental health charity, and other charities, most of them do. Being rich does not equal being a skinflint.

@LucilleBluth

I love the defenders, they make me laugh.

M wanted mental health help and them being told no is complete and utter bullshit. Just that alone makes me think whaaaaaat.

I remember the wedding being lovely and me and DD watching with tea and cake….then it just all went weird with them both and I’m not quit sure why. They had so much good will and now they look silly.

Thanks to the media!

I remember the lovely wedding, it was amazing and there was just so much love around. I said to my husband, "I wonder how long it will be before the press start tearing her/them down?". I really hoped that wasn't a prediction. However it didn't take them long.

I don't think they look silly, they're still finding their way but I think they'll be OK.

Regarding the mental health issues and lack of help, that has happened a lot with the royal family over the years so it didn't surprise me.

[quote TractorAndHeadphones]@MsHedgehog blind hate? That implies no reason for the hate.
There’s no point in ‘advocating’ for mental health awareness and the like without the money to support it. The waiting list for NHS therapy is long and[/quote]
@TractorAndHeadphones

Your post says it all. Do you even know what Harry has done? He has joined a mental health business in the US. The US! What on earth has that got to do with the NHS?

And it’s a bloody business, not a charity. Jeez!

@Confusedandshaken. Thanks for your insights, they do help to understand PH’s perspective.

I just wish we were discussing accurate information on this thread! He’s working for a business, not a charity, and the business DOESN’T provide MH services as we think of them, they provide life coaching and business performance coaching. Someone with depression/anxiety/bipolar, etc. wouldn’t be referred to them.

Fair enough, he’s making a living, but it’s not really in the MH sector, IYSWIM.

[quote wellards]@Gilmorehill so should Meghan have worn cheap clothes & no jewellery? All so we can pretend she's not rich? I mean she is so...

Is there an upper limit of what Royals or celebs should wear when meeting "poorer" people? What should it be? [/quote]
She toned down her outfits and dressed drably when she went to Africa.

@EmeraldShamrock posted: "I know she is a princess now but still holds the same values for helping those in need."

She is NOT a princess, never has been nor will be (although it seems she always liked to be treated like one). From what I've seen Megain is only interested in helping herself.

At the time of their engagement and wedding there was a massive amount of goodwill towards H&M, but they have soured that by their self absorbed, attention seeking behaviour. The OW "tell all" interview was the nail in the coffin for many people's patience, IMO, as they carefully twisted the truth (IMO) to fit their own agenda of playing victims to garner sympathy. I'm glad they left the UK, they had nothing of value to offer and were an unnecessary drain on resources. If people in the States pay them big money for doing very little, that's their choice, but H&M's talk of wanting to help various worthy causes while selling their story to the highest bidder and trashing the reputation of the RF, speaks volumes to the fact that the only cause they are really interested in promoting is their own lifestyle.

Oh, I'm absolutely delighted that he married Meghan, genuinely. I mean happy for him personally or whatever, but I was really happy for his position as a royal and for our country: that he married a smart, charismatic grown-up (rather than a person who hadn't quite figured out who she was, which I thought would be more likely). I thought it would create new avenues for real work and a new sense of openness more generally.

And again, for his own personal self, I understand that he felt he needed to leave, and I'm glad he's getting the therapy he wants.

But what frustrates me is what has come in the last two years: vapidity and sloganeering rather than actual change. Invictus Games? Actual, tangible good, with specific and concrete goals, aimed at the people it's supposed to support, and a clear understanding of the genuine problems and pain behind it. But the new measures? They're superficial and often lucrative, not real or substantive. The one useful thing I can see that he's done is with World Central Kitchen, helping José Andrés build four sites. (You want to see what real action looks like, look to JA--WCK is amazing, and he uses his platform to create real change.)

Everything else on the Archewell website is about 'storytelling', 'dialogue', 'narratives'. Bullshit. These things are vital, but unless they're accompanied by action, it's just empty.

I don't blame him from being born into great privilege; I blame him for not using that privilege more substantially.

I don't blame him for trying to escape from great privilege; I blame him for trying to monetize it while simultaneously slagging it off.

Real charity takes real, sustained work, thought, and energy. If you don't want to do it, or if you can't do it, that's fine. But don't talk a big game about mental health, take a 6-figure salary, and spend your time 'spreading awareness.' Because awareness isn't enough: people need access and support. It's not pretty and it's not glamourous and it's not easy. But it's necessary.

I hope he turns to that next, and soon.

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent

Which charity is it?

As I pointed out up thread (and others have also said), it isn't a charity. It is a business - BetterUp. And he is not advising on mental health. As Chief Impact Officer, he is promoting a wellness app and helping the company to achieve its mission. But, as someone up thread said, never let the facts get in the way of a good character assassination.

I think he will but we must remember we have been in a pandemic, and lockdown, all the time he and Meghan have been in the USA, plus they had a second baby. I expect the charity approached him and nobody can blame him for taking them up; he'll do his best, as he did as a soldier for ten years.

Meghan's dark red suit (I presume that is what is being talked about), may have been expensive but it looked nice and neat, and fairly ordinary. Nobody would have known the cost had the flipping press not got involved and 'sourced' it.

[quote UrbanRambler]@EmeraldShamrock posted: "I know she is a princess now but still holds the same values for helping those in need."

She is NOT a princess, never has been nor will be (although it seems she always liked to be treated like one). From what I've seen Megain is only interested in helping herself.

At the time of their engagement and wedding there was a massive amount of goodwill towards H&M, but they have soured that by their self absorbed, attention seeking behaviour. The OW "tell all" interview was the nail in the coffin for many people's patience, IMO, as they carefully twisted the truth (IMO) to fit their own agenda of playing victims to garner sympathy. I'm glad they left the UK, they had nothing of value to offer and were an unnecessary drain on resources. If people in the States pay them big money for doing very little, that's their choice, but H&M's talk of wanting to help various worthy causes while selling their story to the highest bidder and trashing the reputation of the RF, speaks volumes to the fact that the only cause they are really interested in promoting is their own lifestyle.[/quote]
She is a princess. The wife of a Prince is a princess.

It’s just a title that she, like Catherine and Sophie, (and Camilla for different reasons) doesn’t use as “Princess Henry” would highlight very publicly the sexism involved in the titles the RF use/have.

@wellards

people get upset because they are paying for the royal family and expect them to do their job i.e shake hands with foreign dignitaries and keep their mouths shut.

Prince Harry left

Does the above advice apply to all the Royals?

Of course, I don't want to hear the opinions of any of them. Their position is simply being born into the family, they aren't experts in anything. The fact that they mostly seem to be thick as pig shit just makes me want to hear less from them even more.

@JustLyra I stand corrected, I just googled it and found that you are correct, M is indeed a princess, technically speaking. She seems to have displayed signs of princess syndrome for much of her life, so marrying a prince was no doubt very appealing to her.

I’m always curious what job people think he should do

Everyone claims he was supposed to run off and stand on his own two feet, but he has been criticised for every single thing he has done to try and earn money. Did people really expect him to get a job in Tesco? Although even then I’m sure he would criticised for taking a job from some poor soul who needs it.

He’s got enough money to train in any field he wants to. He could join the Army in the US and get a desk job.

@BoredZelda

I’m always curious what job people think he should do

Everyone claims he was supposed to run off and stand on his own two feet, but he has been criticised for every single thing he has done to try and earn money. Did people really expect him to get a job in Tesco? Although even then I’m sure he would criticised for taking a job from some poor soul who needs it.

I was expecting him to focus on his work in South Africa and continue where his mum left off, its something that he has always been spoken passionately about. I didn't think he'd jump into the celebrity lifestyle and pimp himself around Silicon Valley - I find that somewhat jarring (and disappointing).