To quit my job tomorrow

[ihatemyjobiwanttoquit]

I’ve been in the job just under six months (still in probation period), it’s a senior technical role in the public sector. I can’t get a straight answer out of anyone. I work alongside another senior engineer who hates our manager (actually she seems to hate everyone, including me).

I got bollocked last Friday night by my manager (at 9pm) for doing something the way the other senior engineer insisted it should be done (I’d called them both into a meeting earlier that day to check it was ok because I felt uncomfortable dumping work on other teams, they said it was the correct process and to go ahead).

Whatever I do is wrong, this has been the case since day 1. The other engineer either emails me and says ‘don’t ever do this again’ or my manager emails me and says ‘the way you’ve gone about this is wrong’. I don’t do any engineering, I feel like a project manager (a very very bad, incompetent one).

I’ve never just quit before, but my mental health is suffering. I’m pretty tough, I’ve 25 years experience in my job and a good reputation. They pulled a switcheroo on me at final offer stage (after 7 interviews, I should have seen the giant red flag!) and said this role was more suited to my skillset, they’d head hunted me for another role.

I’m stuck in the middle, losing confidence daily and questioning myself. I feel sick at the thought of another day spent dealing with this bullshit, I just can’t take another kicking in someone else’s war.

AIBU to tell them I quit, I can’t even face working my notice period right now.

I’ve done it and my role was much less than yours. I simply couldn’t take the stress any more. I went on my break, took all my stuff with me and never went back!

Well done. Glad you’ll have peace of mind now.
I wonder who will present to the stake holders on Monday?

Well done and F’em. No job is worth your health.
When I’m really stressed at work I fantasise about working on a checkout or as a librarian 🤣
One day I might just do it. I often tell my boss if he’s not careful he’ll see me on the till when he’s buying his lunch! We have a good laugh..! Congrats and I hope you enjoy some lovely me time & whatever comes next Xo

Well done OP, I've been in similar situations where it's like no matter what you do you can't seem to please people. It really does affect your self esteem and make you doubt yourself. You've done the right thing.

Well done OP. You've just saved yourself a world of future pain. Enjoy your weekend and toast your future!

Well done. That took courage and calm and I frankly think you made the right decision.

No job should make you ill and feel that shit, particularly when you know you are good at what you do. I'm impressed that you were tough enough to appreciate you deserve better!

Have a great weekend.

well done. That's absolutely the right thing to do.

@ihatemyjobiwanttoquit

I worked today, I intended on speaking to my manager but he took an impromptu day off. I gathered the information that I’ll need for my exit interview and checked company policies. At 5pm I sent a short resignation email and then switched off my laptop and phone.

I have no intention of going in on Monday, I’ll call in sick. I will not be working my weeks notice. I hope my email puts a downer on his weekend (it’s petty I know).

What shocks me is how many people have replied to this thread and have been in a similar situation. I wish I’d had the energy to raise a grievance and get the CTO involved. I’d like to have spared the next person who works there the misery I’ve had, but for my own sanity it is best to walk away.

Thanks to everyone who responded, I read every reply and you spurred me on to put myself first.

It would help enormously if you emailed HR to spell out why you have taken sick leave and will not return. It insanely difficult to deal with shit mgmt like this in the public sector without any evidence

well done. I agree that, if you can possibly find the energy, it would be really helpful to bullet point why you did this. They should know - someone should know, and you can possibly spare another poor soul this terrible experience.

Best of luck - you deserve better.

@sjxoxo Ha, don't be fooled about library work (or checkouts too, I suspect...) - it's a myth that you sit reading books all day, chance would be a fine thing! You still have to deal with people, besides which idiot HR, stupid policies, and toxic bosses are EVERYWHERE - the biggest sociopath I ever met was a very senior librarian in academia, and unfortunately my boss; many of my friends would say the same...one day I will write a book!!

I actually had the best time when I was 100% self-employed, as if a client was toxic and ridiculous it was easy enough to walk away, but unfortunately I found that availability of work dipped so badly at Christmas, Easter, and through the summer holidays that it just wasn't viable. Plus it's been really tough through Covid. (And I didn't only have UK-based clients.)

I'm so glad the OP has decided to take the step they have though - onwards and upwards! (Can't help thinking of the words to Kenny Rogers' The Gambler: "Know when to walk away, and know when to run!")

have a brilliant weekend, treat yourself to something nice.
Job hunt can wait until Monday.

DO post on glassdoor www.glassdoor.co.uk/Reviews/index.htm

@Gilmoregale yes i hear you! I crave policy & an actual manager some days … I work for a small family business that is really poorly run & has a few questionable health and safety issues. One of my main colleagues drives a forklift; he’s also an alcoholic. Often drunk at work. No action has been taken for years.. this week he’s now being breathalysed before he can get on the truck, and he’s only been clear to drive one day this week. He told me when drunk this week he actually has no forklift license. After breathalyser had been done one morning, he was over the limit, my boss told him to drive anyway, ‘discreetly at the back, to tidy up some pallets’… oh I long to be in a really mundane job with actual policies some days 🤣

Heywood youe OK when thia happens qt work it can feel so upsetting it happened to me a couple if years ago and I handed my notice it their was a women who picked me up on everything she was hideous. So the notice went in and she came back to work and it started straight away so I worked the shift and in the morning I walked in like I was going to my locker and I emptied it and I walked out and round to the boss where I told then I would not be working notice in my department and she cause sue me but I would be putting in q complaint for bullying so they let me work my notice in a another department where I discovered how good I was at that job so I was otheredto go to a different building to do that job and I've beenthere for years on Friday life is too short to be miserable at work. Just get out and in telling you the right thing will come even if that's having break for a bit these things can be so traumatic good luck xx

Well done op!

Leave. It’s ruining your life.

I would leave but first ring in with work related stress and rinse as much sick pay as you’re allowed

Understand you thinking that you should have said something in case it helps next person in role. My experience though is that employers know full well when an environment is toxic but do nothing about and even if you do raise an issue its viewed as your problem not theirs. Raising concerns about my boss was one of the most stressful things I've ever done at work and nothing was done about it despite others raising similar complaints, lots of good people leaving, people saying in exit interviews that they were bullied, a very high sickness rate in his dept etc. You owe them absolutely nothing. I only really realised how bad it was when I started working in my next job where the culture is great and my boss really supportive.

Good for you! You’re absolutely doing the right thing and I hope you’re already feeling better.

It’s astonishing how a bad experience at work affects us.

Well done OP 👊🏻

I'm an employment lawyer and if you told any GP that your mental health is suffering, you have a racing heart etc, and intend to resign but just need a little bit of space to consider your options, they should absolutely sign you off, and extend at least once at the end of two weeks.

In your circumstances I advise people to take at least that month before resigning. It takes two weeks to unwind being panicked and anxious, and then you will be amazed how much clearer and more positive you feel. At that stage you can take a reasonable decision whether to try to improve them, fight them, get out of there or any combination of the three.

If you decide to go, you can be honest about it with future employers. We all get at least one new post where it is just wrong and awful. Six months is reasonable and decisive, not knee-jerk.

Just read update. Well done OP, hope you are enjoying the feeling of the stress lifting by the minute. Hope your next role makes you feel recognised and valued x

Well done OP - I once walked out of a job for similar reasons, it was such a relief. Hope things work out well for you.

Well done. When I walked it had zero impact on my subsequent job search. If asked, I said it wasn't a good fit and I had taken the opportunity to prioritise what I wanted from a Job (eg anything about potential vacancy that differed)

Your GP will definitely give you a sick note for stress/anxiety. Get one on Monday morning and don’t go in again. Give yourself a bit of breathing space to decide what you want to do. Given that it’s public sector you should be able able to do that for 6 months ish if you wanted to! You could go to a senior manager and/or HR. They may well just be able to move you. You could look for other internal roles. Or you could look elsewhere.

Well done

That takes real strength

I hope you are enjoying your weekend