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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to throw the ball back over

139 replies

NoProblama · 23/09/2021 15:00

So the family next door to me have kids around age 8 and 10, give or take a year or two. I'm here on my own with two toddlers and every day multiple times a day they're ringing in for me to throw their ball back over the fence. If I don't answer the door they stay there and keep knocking and ringing for ages.

I know it sounds stupid but I'm really fed up of it, we could be sitting there eating dinner or cleaning up after dinner and they'll just be at the door knocking over and over again, they've even opened the letterbox before to look in. I throw the ball back if I see it in the garden, there's abseloutley no reason for them to knock in constantly.

I know its a really minor problem but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or not 🤣

OP posts:
PlonkyWillyWonky · 23/09/2021 15:02

Speak to them/their parents and tell them to stop?
I dunno just a thought...

mumjustmum · 23/09/2021 15:05

Can you speak to children or their parents and agree you'll throw balls back at 1pm and 7pm (or whenever suits you) each day?

HarrietsChariot · 23/09/2021 15:09

Tell them you'll throw the balls back once a week and to stop ringing your doorbell. If they don't like it they can stop kicking them over.

Jengnr · 23/09/2021 15:12

Have a word with their parents. Tell them you’ll throw them back when you see them but don’t want mithering.

Mine know that when the ball goes next door it’s tough shit. Alice will chuck them back whenever she lets the dog out.

Ponoka7 · 23/09/2021 15:13

They shouldn't be looking through the letter box, I'd be going to the parents. They need to be told that you'll throw it back when convenient. But I'd make it at least once a day.

HerrenaHarridan · 23/09/2021 15:15

Put a net above your fence so the ball falls back down their side

That’s what I did anyway.

Solves your problem and keeps them outside playing

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 23/09/2021 15:16

Go round and tell the parents you will throw the balls back once a day and to stop their children constantly knocking .
If they wang on about it, suggest they put up netting to stop the balls flying over.

Billandben444 · 23/09/2021 15:26

The less often you throw it back the more careful they'll be? Tell parents you're really busy with toddlers so can't get to the door when their children ring the doorbell so could they please tell them to stop? You'll check for football(s) when you can. If they continue to harrass you then ignore until the little darlings get the message. Pray for rain?

SoloISland · 23/09/2021 15:30

They enjoy it. Been there too many times. They love coming round etc. So yes, limit it and they will find something else to do

Maybe their parents need to get that thing with balls on elastic..

Mumoblue · 23/09/2021 15:32

Our fences are super low, and there’s a gate on the side of our garden so I’ve just told my neighbour’s kid they can go get their ball whenever it goes over, but I can imagine how annoying it would be to be asked multiple times a day!

I agree with either putting up a net or having a word with the parents. Sounds like a real pain!

BurntO · 23/09/2021 15:35

Speak to their parents. Say you’ll happily throw them over on a morning or whatever but constantly having them at your door is unacceptable

godmum56 · 23/09/2021 15:39

I'd say balls will be returned once a week. As well as talking to the parents, I'd also be sending the children away empty handed aqnd telling them its rude to look through the letterbox.

rookiemere · 23/09/2021 15:40

Do they have to ask you ? Is there a side gate they can use if you let them ? If so I'd tell them that, if not I'd speak to the parents and tell them that you're happy to but the prolonged doorbell ringing needs to stop and you will not answer door when at dinner or busty.

Jmaho · 23/09/2021 15:44

My boys are 12 and 8 and football mad. The ball does go over and we generally leave it and play with another one and the neighbours through it back when they can. I do occasionally let them knock if it's a reasonable time of day and they are super polite. I would not let them knock constantly. That's not odd. Just glad we have nice neighbours now. We used to live next door to a crazy woman who was super friendly when we moved in but then started a hate campaign when we had work done to the house (all within hours of 10 to 4 in the day) and our builders "deliberately" got dust on her car. She used to sit by the fence whenever the boys were in the garden playing and if a ball went over she would stab it with a knife and throw it back!! Boys were about 4 and 8 then and used to son!

Notaroadrunner · 23/09/2021 15:44

I agree with telling them that their ball will be returned if and when you are out the back. If that's a day later or a week later then they'll just have to wait. It might make them be more careful about kicking it over in the first place. And just ignore the knocking. They'll soon get the message that you won't come running every time they knock.

Jmaho · 23/09/2021 15:44

Throw not through!

girlmom21 · 23/09/2021 15:46

Yeah speak to their parents and say of course you'll throw the ball back but it'll be when it's convenient for you.

Knocking the door to ask for it back is fine but looking through your letterbox and constant knocking/ringing is not.

Chloemol · 23/09/2021 15:53

Ask the neighbours to put a net up their side to stop the balls coming over, or stop the kids from playing with the ball if they won’t

If it’s daily tell then they can collect any bags from the front door at xx time. If there is nothing there the6 do not knock, they wait until the next day

If they still insist on knocking then I would be opening the door, shouting at them togo away and come back a xx time

MadamMalkin · 23/09/2021 15:57

I would tell the kids that the first time, you'll throw it back, but you're busy so if it goes in again, you'll not be throwing it back over until the next day.

CharityDingle · 23/09/2021 15:59

@girlmom21

Yeah speak to their parents and say of course you'll throw the ball back but it'll be when it's convenient for you.

Knocking the door to ask for it back is fine but looking through your letterbox and constant knocking/ringing is not.

Yes, this. Let the parents know, and assuming that they are normal, reasonable people, that should sort it. The children are doing it, for entertainment.

I have been there, spoke politely to the parents, it stopped.

SmileyClare · 23/09/2021 16:08

I wouldn't make an issue with the parents.

They sound old enough to understand not to knock at certain times. Perhaps tell them not to come round for their ball after 6pm- you're busy with dinner and putting toddlers to bed?

Other than that, it's not that bad is it? They must be at school during the day, the summer's finished, and think ahead to when your toddlers are bigger and are losing their balls over the same fence!

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 23/09/2021 16:11

Why are you ignoring them when they come over, they obviously know your home which is why they keep ringing and knocking. You sound very petty. Just answer the door. Tell them you will throw the ball back but they need to be careful and not keep kicking it over so much if it’s bothering you. Also talk to the parents if it’s really a hardship.

At the end of the day they are kids, balls go over gardens, stop being so difficult. Let’s hope when your DCs get older and play ball games your neighbours arnt so petty.

PegorySpeck · 23/09/2021 16:13

Just tell them to stop

GinIronic · 23/09/2021 16:14

Stab each ball with your bread knife and then throw them back. They will soon get the hint. Grin

SmileyClare · 23/09/2021 16:18

Jmaho that reminds me of the time my brother threw my brand new pink space hopper I'd just got for my birthday into our next door's garden. I begged my mum to go and ask for it back because our neighbour always stabbed our stray footballs.

Lo and behold, it came back five minutes later- stabbed. I was so upset.

I think that's why I get so defensive of the children who have kicked balls over on threads like these!