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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to throw the ball back over

139 replies

NoProblama · 23/09/2021 15:00

So the family next door to me have kids around age 8 and 10, give or take a year or two. I'm here on my own with two toddlers and every day multiple times a day they're ringing in for me to throw their ball back over the fence. If I don't answer the door they stay there and keep knocking and ringing for ages.

I know it sounds stupid but I'm really fed up of it, we could be sitting there eating dinner or cleaning up after dinner and they'll just be at the door knocking over and over again, they've even opened the letterbox before to look in. I throw the ball back if I see it in the garden, there's abseloutley no reason for them to knock in constantly.

I know its a really minor problem but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or not 🤣

OP posts:
BreadInCaptivity · 24/09/2021 00:57

@jpclarke

Just remember in a few more years it will be the opposite way around, it will probably be your kids putting balls into their garden.

That's not necessarily true.

Certainly wasn't in my circumstances.

If DS wanted to play football he played in the garden in the area we'd put nets up to catch the ball and when old enough, he went to the local village football field with friends to play.

There's a big difference in a ball coming over the fence occasionally and the situation where it's 3/4/5 times a day.

When it's the latter it becomes a nuisance that's beyond kids just having fun.

You sound like my neighbours who thought is was all fine and jolly until it was them who was dealing with the inconvenience.

hellohithere · 24/09/2021 01:01

@NoProblama

So the family next door to me have kids around age 8 and 10, give or take a year or two. I'm here on my own with two toddlers and every day multiple times a day they're ringing in for me to throw their ball back over the fence. If I don't answer the door they stay there and keep knocking and ringing for ages.

I know it sounds stupid but I'm really fed up of it, we could be sitting there eating dinner or cleaning up after dinner and they'll just be at the door knocking over and over again, they've even opened the letterbox before to look in. I throw the ball back if I see it in the garden, there's abseloutley no reason for them to knock in constantly.

I know its a really minor problem but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or not 🤣

Over reacting for sureeeeee!!! Let the kids live! Jeez
FinallyHere · 24/09/2021 09:06

@BreadInCaptivity

It was a bit nerve wracking the first time Dad came to collect the ball and demanded to know why I wouldn't give it to their kids....but I held my ground and was simply honest that my motivation was to put them out as much their children did myself and had done this as they had shown no interest after a polite request to sort the issue.

This wins the internet today. Just brilliant.

WomanStanleyWoman · 24/09/2021 12:26

If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres.

Well if your neighbours keep chucking their car into your garden and then badgering you to get it back every five minutes, go ahead. Otherwise, stop showing off. There’s nothing big or clever in sounding like the kind of person even Jeremy Kyle would turn down as a guest.

PlonkyWillyWonky · 24/09/2021 12:36

@Bagamoyo1 hahahahaha no you wouldn't , what a silly comment

LookAtMoiPloise · 24/09/2021 12:37

@WomanStanleyWoman

If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres.

Well if your neighbours keep chucking their car into your garden and then badgering you to get it back every five minutes, go ahead. Otherwise, stop showing off. There’s nothing big or clever in sounding like the kind of person even Jeremy Kyle would turn down as a guest.

Grin
tigger1001 · 24/09/2021 12:58

"That's not necessarily true.

Certainly wasn't in my circumstances.

If DS wanted to play football he played in the garden in the area we'd put nets up to catch the ball and when old enough, he went to the local village football field with friends to play.

There's a big difference in a ball coming over the fence occasionally and the situation where it's 3/4/5 times a day.

When it's the latter it becomes a nuisance that's beyond kids just having fun.

You sound like my neighbours who thought is was all fine and jolly until it was them who was dealing with the inconvenience."

Agree with this.

A ball going over occasionally is very different to several times a day. That's just being inconsiderate to your neighbours. My kids wouldn't have got away with that - the ball would have been taken off them by me and they would have been made to apologise to the neighbours.

SoloISland · 24/09/2021 13:02

@LookAtMoiPloise

If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres

Ooh, watch out everyone!

I don;t have a car..
tigger1001 · 24/09/2021 13:03

"junebirthdaygirl
My ds's friend had a cranky lady next door who flatly refused to throw a ball back or let him fetch it. He loved football so lost a lot of balls all year. On Christmas morning the lady called over with a large sack of balls which she had collected all year!! He was thrilled. So once a week or each lunchtime sounds pretty reasonable compared to that.

Why didn't he stop kicking balls over before he 'lost' so many!"

Exactly! And why not stop giving your kid a ball when you know they will just kick it over the fence? Why not parent and teach them that if they do something daft like kick the ball over the fence, it means they no longer have a ball to play with until it's handed back? Rather than reward their behaviour by giving them another ball? Teach actions have consequences

Offmyfence · 24/09/2021 14:20

@WomanStanleyWoman

If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres.

Well if your neighbours keep chucking their car into your garden and then badgering you to get it back every five minutes, go ahead. Otherwise, stop showing off. There’s nothing big or clever in sounding like the kind of person even Jeremy Kyle would turn down as a guest.

Brilliant 🤩
WalkingOnTheCracks · 25/09/2021 16:36

@GinIronic

Stab each ball with your bread knife and then throw them back. They will soon get the hint. Grin
At about this point, if I were the boys' parent, I'd be encouraging them to play out the front, near your car.
StoneofDestiny · 25/09/2021 17:11

Just remember in a few more years it will be the opposite way around, it will probably be your kids putting balls into their garden

I never let mine kick balls over the fence. I bought those footballs on an elastic band that kept the ball in my garden and if they wanted to belt a ball high and wide I took them to the park (PITA as it was). Also got them to diversify to basketball and badminton and tennis. BasicLly, I taught them we had no right to disturb the neighbours or invade their space with balls etc.

I can't get over how entitled some parents are to what their kids should be able to do.

Hankunamatata · 25/09/2021 17:19

Mine are not allowed to knock to ask for ball back.

Tell the kids you will throw them back once in the evening, say after dinner.

LuaDipa · 25/09/2021 17:24

Several times a day is ridiculous and I wouldn’t be retrieving it that often.

If DS wanted to play football he played in the garden in the area we'd put nets up to catch the ball and when old enough, he went to the local village football field with friends to play.

We had a relatively small garden surrounded on all sides so we invested in these nets, and used to walk him round to the rec field where he could boot the ball to his hearts content without worrying about where it ended up. I didn’t want ds bothering elderly neighbours unnecessarily, but on a regular basis it would have been quite unfair to them. If a ball is going over a fence multiple times a day it isn’t op’s responsibility, the parents should be finding a solution.

DecadentlyDecisive · 25/09/2021 21:15

If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres

And now we know where little Scummers come from folks!! Wink

DocAutumn · 25/09/2021 21:21

They are kids playing ball. Give them back their ball and remember this when your own kids want to play ball. My DC don't play it any more because the neighbour kept their balls and they have nowhere else to play. Kids can get up to a lot worse than enthusiastically play football.

LetHimHaveIt · 25/09/2021 21:28

Yeah, this 'It'll be your kids in a few years' bollocks annoys me.

No, it won't. Because I parent differently, and wouldn't allow my children to persistently interrupt a neighbour's quiet enjoyment of her property. Because I'm not a dick. Just as, if a neighbour's teen played loud music, I wouldn't think 'I'd better hold my horses because my own kids will have music blaring in a few years' because they bloody well won't.

Also enjoying 'Let the kids live' from the poster with the malfunctioning 'e' button. OP isn't tabling a motion to bring back hanging for children with shit ball control.

LookAtMoiPloise · 25/09/2021 21:57

@DecadentlyDecisive

If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres

And now we know where little Scummers come from folks!! Wink

Indeed
LookAtMoiPloise · 25/09/2021 21:58

At about this point, if I were the boys' parent, I'd be encouraging them to play out the front, near your car

Hahah. Keyboard warriors, eh?

StoneofDestiny · 25/09/2021 22:28

And now we know where little Scummers come from folks!!

Absolutely. Kids learn from their parents - scary

StoneofDestiny · 25/09/2021 22:37

They are kids playing ball. Give them back their ball and remember this when your own kids want to play ball. My DC don't play it any more because the neighbour kept their balls and they have nowhere else to play. Kids can get up to a lot worse than enthusiastically play football

It's not whether the kids play ball or not, it's the fact they kick it into a neighbours garden repeatedly then thunder on the door to get it back every time, even looking through her letterbox!

It's indefensible.

OP doesn't exist to run after someone else's kids or to have her home life interrupted by such lack of consideration.

As I said up thread - some of us manage to bring football loving kids up without antagonising the neighbours. If my kids couldn't keep it low to the ground they were told to stop playing football in the garden by me. I bought them a football attached to elastic that kept it confined to our space. There are other things to do - and if football was the only option, id have to take them to the park!

Basically the OP is being forced to run around after someone else's kids!

(I imagine if your neighbours kept your kids footballs, they had suffered enough)

StoneofDestiny · 25/09/2021 22:39

At about this point, if I were the boys' parent, I'd be encouraging them to play out the front, near your car

More fantastic parenting.
So, if your car gets keyed by some unruly kid, remember what you taught your own about respect for peoples property.

BecauseMyRingBurnsSheila · 25/09/2021 22:48

Say to them there's no need to ring, you'll throw back any balls once a day at the end of the day. They'll either run out of balls or be more careful. Win-win.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 26/09/2021 00:41

@StoneofDestiny

At about this point, if I were the boys' parent, I'd be encouraging them to play out the front, near your car

More fantastic parenting.
So, if your car gets keyed by some unruly kid, remember what you taught your own about respect for peoples property.

It was a response to 'knife the ball and throw it back - they'll learn'.

It wasn't entirely serious in intent, but it was a considered ironic response to the expressed attitude to others' property.

In other words, if that's your attitude, pal, then presumably you think that a similarly destructive response would be fair.

WomanStanleyWoman · 26/09/2021 11:50

So I’ll ask again - are your neighbours regularly throwing their car into your garden and then badgering you to return it instantly, no matter what you’re doing at the time?