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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to throw the ball back over

139 replies

NoProblama · 23/09/2021 15:00

So the family next door to me have kids around age 8 and 10, give or take a year or two. I'm here on my own with two toddlers and every day multiple times a day they're ringing in for me to throw their ball back over the fence. If I don't answer the door they stay there and keep knocking and ringing for ages.

I know it sounds stupid but I'm really fed up of it, we could be sitting there eating dinner or cleaning up after dinner and they'll just be at the door knocking over and over again, they've even opened the letterbox before to look in. I throw the ball back if I see it in the garden, there's abseloutley no reason for them to knock in constantly.

I know its a really minor problem but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or not 🤣

OP posts:
GreatPotato · 23/09/2021 18:21

I just think life's more enjoyable when you do someone a favour than when you take umbrage at every inconvenience.

BeyondMyWits · 23/09/2021 18:22

My dog bites and tears footballs to bits... we don't get balls coming over the fence any more. The kids were so shocked the first time he did it as he's a real softie, but he has a thing about balls coming over the fence.

LookAtMoiPloise · 23/09/2021 18:25

@PaperhouseLegs

I'd just totally ignore the knocking however persistent, then throw back when you can be arsed They will give up eventually.
This is exactly what I did.

Ignored the door, chucked the balls back when I got round to it.

Soon stopped.

DecadentlyDecisive · 23/09/2021 18:28

Open the front door, throw the ball into the road, close the front door.

Repeat.

StarCat2020 · 23/09/2021 18:53

Stab each ball with your bread knife and then throw them back
My neighbours kids threw over a punctured football following months of abuse.

I threw it back.

Cops were knocking on my door to speak to me about criminal damage.

I kid you not

AWellReadWoman · 23/09/2021 18:55

Have this exact problem at the moment so feel your pain. The knock at the door is always when I'm in the middle of doing someone with my toddler and can't really get to the door.

Parky04 · 23/09/2021 19:05

We just leave the side gate open and they can go and retrieve the balls themselves.

NoProblama · 23/09/2021 19:18

@ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS

Why are you ignoring them when they come over, they obviously know your home which is why they keep ringing and knocking. You sound very petty. Just answer the door. Tell them you will throw the ball back but they need to be careful and not keep kicking it over so much if it’s bothering you. Also talk to the parents if it’s really a hardship.

At the end of the day they are kids, balls go over gardens, stop being so difficult. Let’s hope when your DCs get older and play ball games your neighbours arnt so petty.

I don't ignore them all the time I ignore them when I'm busy with my children and don't have time 🙄 your reply is petty. Excuse me if I'm changing a shitty nappy, bathing my children, cooking dinner or just living my general life and don't have time to constantly attend to other people's children.
OP posts:
NoProblama · 23/09/2021 19:22

@Brollywasntneededafterall

Offer back a burst ball. Say it must have burst when it landed in your garden.. Few episodes and it wil stop going over...
I can't say I haven't fantasised about doing this 🤣 I couldn't though I wouldn't have the heart
OP posts:
megletthesecond · 23/09/2021 19:23

Tell them that you can't always throw them back.

I'm next to a park and I almost always throw back but I told them that I can't always throw back and if we're away it's tough. Tbh I'm too nice and just glad they're outside and not on screens.

megletthesecond · 23/09/2021 19:25

I also pop them behind my front garden wall if I find a ball and they check and retrieve their balls that way too. I spy on them through the doorbell Grin.

junebirthdaygirl · 23/09/2021 19:31

My ds's friend had a cranky lady next door who flatly refused to throw a ball back or let him fetch it. He loved football so lost a lot of balls all year. On Christmas morning the lady called over with a large sack of balls which she had collected all year!! He was thrilled. So once a week or each lunchtime sounds pretty reasonable compared to that.

SheWoreYellow · 23/09/2021 19:39

@SusieBob

If you have a side passage or something I'd just tell them to go and get it without asking each time.
I don’t think that works with the OPs toddlers. What if they leave the gate open and they toddle out?
SheWoreYellow · 23/09/2021 19:42

My children are at the footballing age and what happens here is a ball goes over, we go ‘eek, better stop playing’ and then the neighbour usually throws it back by morning. They are then a bit more careful on that side for a few days.

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 23/09/2021 20:54

@godmum56 because when people knock at your door it’s rude to ignore them. If they are children they aren’t going to take the hint as an adult would and give up, which is obviously what is happening. Just answer the bloody door and set some rules and boundaries, it’s not that hard 🙄

notanothertakeaway · 23/09/2021 20:58

@Sally872

We have a keen footballer and very patient neighbours, but rule is if it goes over fence it's gone and neighbour will throw it back when she notices. Not on for them to be chapping more than once ever 2-3 days.
I think that's very fair and reasonable
LookAtMoiPloise · 23/09/2021 21:08

[quote ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS]@godmum56 because when people knock at your door it’s rude to ignore them. If they are children they aren’t going to take the hint as an adult would and give up, which is obviously what is happening. Just answer the bloody door and set some rules and boundaries, it’s not that hard 🙄[/quote]
Oh, give over 😂😂

Cherrysoup · 23/09/2021 21:22

No but if OP just answered the door they wouldn't be behaving like this.

Why the heck should she? What if, like a pp, she was working from home? She should dash out of a call because the neighbour’s kids want their ball back for the 5th time in a day? What if she’s bathing the toddlers? Leave them in the bath alone? That’s not a good solution.

Bimblybomeyelash · 23/09/2021 21:26

At the end of the day they are kids, balls go over gardens, stop being so difficult. Let’s hope when your DCs get older and play ball games your neighbours arnt so petty.

I have ball game age kids and a small garden, and I reckon that we have a balls over fence situation maybe once a year? G my kids were losing balls over the fence on a weekly basis I’d be banning garden ball games!

GreatPotato · 23/09/2021 21:29

@Cherrysoup

No but if OP just answered the door they wouldn't be behaving like this.

Why the heck should she? What if, like a pp, she was working from home? She should dash out of a call because the neighbour’s kids want their ball back for the 5th time in a day? What if she’s bathing the toddlers? Leave them in the bath alone? That’s not a good solution.

What if?

What if OP answered the door everything except when it would risk her toddler's life? Of course there maybe the odd occasions when the door really can't be answered, but that's not what's happening here.

I'm really surprised at the number of people who prefer to make themselves grumpy rather than take a minute to do a nice thing.

Offmyfence · 23/09/2021 21:31

@ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS

Why are you ignoring them when they come over, they obviously know your home which is why they keep ringing and knocking. You sound very petty. Just answer the door. Tell them you will throw the ball back but they need to be careful and not keep kicking it over so much if it’s bothering you. Also talk to the parents if it’s really a hardship.

At the end of the day they are kids, balls go over gardens, stop being so difficult. Let’s hope when your DCs get older and play ball games your neighbours arnt so petty.

She's ignoring them because they're irritating, their parents know they're irritating She's not wanting to be at their neck and call. She's cooking She's relaxing She's busy

Do I need to continue?

Offmyfence · 23/09/2021 21:38

*beck and call

tigger1001 · 23/09/2021 21:39

I have a football mad kid and one rule. The ball does not get kicked into next doors garden. It's only happens a few times and he had to go ask for it back and apologise. He's now old enough to play at the park.

There just isn't the need for it to happen multiple times per day. I have a greenhouse. If balls are getting kicked into my garden then it could easily break the glass.

If it was happening multiple times per day I wouldn't be returning the balls daily. They could wait.

As for answering the door. If I'm busy I don't answer it. Certainly wouldn't just because it's kids who can't control a ball was wanting it back. They can wait.

SD1978 · 23/09/2021 21:49

Agree with others regarding talk to the parents. Explain that you are busy at certain times, but will throw any balls back over in the morning, the afternoon, and if you remember, evening. That they are disturbing the young kids trying to sleep with the banging, and it's affecting your routine.

godmum56 · 23/09/2021 21:51

[quote ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS]@godmum56 because when people knock at your door it’s rude to ignore them. If they are children they aren’t going to take the hint as an adult would and give up, which is obviously what is happening. Just answer the bloody door and set some rules and boundaries, it’s not that hard 🙄[/quote]
Grin