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Original poster

To not want to throw the ball back over

139 replies

NoProblama · 23/09/2021 15:00

So the family next door to me have kids around age 8 and 10, give or take a year or two. I'm here on my own with two toddlers and every day multiple times a day they're ringing in for me to throw their ball back over the fence. If I don't answer the door they stay there and keep knocking and ringing for ages.

I know it sounds stupid but I'm really fed up of it, we could be sitting there eating dinner or cleaning up after dinner and they'll just be at the door knocking over and over again, they've even opened the letterbox before to look in. I throw the ball back if I see it in the garden, there's abseloutley no reason for them to knock in constantly.

I know its a really minor problem but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or not 🤣

OP posts:
chickenandchipsinabasket · 23/09/2021 21:52

Keep them and throw them back at a time you're not busy?

Findmeatthebeach · 23/09/2021 21:53

My son is forever kicking balls over the fence, well 3/4 times a week or so. Our rule is we never ask, we always wait. They always come back eventually. I'd never dream of sending them over Everytime it happened!

liveforsummer · 23/09/2021 22:01

Annoying. I'd say you'll throw any you find back whenever you go in your garden as long as they stop knocking but that you cannot to it on demand. If there is a side gate I'd be tempted to offer them just to come and get it but I guess that depends on a lot of factors.

BreadInCaptivity · 23/09/2021 22:12

I had this situation and resolved it by telling the children I would only give the ball back to one of their parents.

My rationale was that speaking to the parents hadn't worked (I'd done so politely) so their children's inability to keep the ball in their own garden was going to interrupt their lives as much as it did mine (actually more because they were the house backing on to mine so it was actually a 10 minute round trip to collect the ball).

After about 4 times of embarrassed/pissed off mum/dad asking for the ball back they put up some netting - something they had been unwilling to do when they weren't being inconvenienced but became quickly motivated to do so when they were.

BreadInCaptivity · 23/09/2021 22:20

Should have said because they backed into us the ball was always at the bottom of a long garden, so it wasn't just as simple as stepping outside and throwing it over the fence.

I could routinely spend 5 mins walking to the end of the garden and hunting the ball amongst all the shrubs there.

Really annoying if you're in the middle of something, especially when at weekends it was 3/4 times a day.

liveforsummer · 23/09/2021 22:24

@BreadInCaptivity crafty - I like it 😆

Jangle33 · 23/09/2021 22:31

My children play football in our garden. Sometimes the ball goes over. Not once in 5 years have they knocked on someone else’s door to get their balk back. They wait for it to be thrown back. They’ll be a damn sight more careful when they can’t just get it back. Sounds like they should go to the park!

BreadInCaptivity · 23/09/2021 22:33

Thank you.

I admit to being quite proud on myself for that one.

It was a bit nerve wracking the first time Dad came to collect the ball and demanded to know why I wouldn't give it to their kids....but I held my ground and was simply honest that my motivation was to put them out as much their children did myself and had done this as they had shown no interest after a polite request to sort the issue.

gannett · 23/09/2021 22:34

Not bothered about throwing balls back over but it'll be at my convenience. That could mean the same day, later in the week or later in the month.

I only answer the door if it's convenient for me as well, and I don't really have any shame about this even if they know I'm home, and nor will I give in. Constant ringing would be a real issue for me whether done by a child or an adult and would make me far less amenable to whatever they want. Rude to demand I drop what I'm doing like that.

chickenandchipsinabasket · 23/09/2021 22:36

[quote ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS]@godmum56 because when people knock at your door it’s rude to ignore them. If they are children they aren’t going to take the hint as an adult would and give up, which is obviously what is happening. Just answer the bloody door and set some rules and boundaries, it’s not that hard 🙄[/quote]
They will not be harmed if they have to wait. Of course the OP must prioritise her own children first

chickenandchipsinabasket · 23/09/2021 22:37

@gannett

Not bothered about throwing balls back over but it'll be at my convenience. That could mean the same day, later in the week or later in the month.

I only answer the door if it's convenient for me as well, and I don't really have any shame about this even if they know I'm home, and nor will I give in. Constant ringing would be a real issue for me whether done by a child or an adult and would make me far less amenable to whatever they want. Rude to demand I drop what I'm doing like that.

Exactly! I will answer the door when it's convenient for me. A ball needing thrown back isn't a life threatening emergency
SmellyOldOwls · 23/09/2021 22:44

@junebirthdaygirl

My ds's friend had a cranky lady next door who flatly refused to throw a ball back or let him fetch it. He loved football so lost a lot of balls all year. On Christmas morning the lady called over with a large sack of balls which she had collected all year!! He was thrilled. So once a week or each lunchtime sounds pretty reasonable compared to that.
I wonder if three ghosts visited her on Christmas Eve night?
StoneofDestiny · 23/09/2021 22:45

Not sure why OP is getting a hard time!

The parents of these kids need telling that you don't want endless knocks on the door, that you are attending to your own children's needs and can't run into your garden several times a day, nor do you want them staring through the letterbox! Just ask them to tell their kids if the balls come in the garden you will throw them back when you are not busy and they are not to knock the door.

Crikey they are 8 and 10 and must know better.

I've had kids kick balls over, but I'll give them back when I'm in the garden, not stop eating, reading, watching TV to run after my neighbours kids demands. I had enough bringing up my own football mad kids without chasing after someone else's.

chickenandchipsinabasket · 23/09/2021 22:50

@StoneofDestiny

Not sure why OP is getting a hard time!

The parents of these kids need telling that you don't want endless knocks on the door, that you are attending to your own children's needs and can't run into your garden several times a day, nor do you want them staring through the letterbox! Just ask them to tell their kids if the balls come in the garden you will throw them back when you are not busy and they are not to knock the door.

Crikey they are 8 and 10 and must know better.

I've had kids kick balls over, but I'll give them back when I'm in the garden, not stop eating, reading, watching TV to run after my neighbours kids demands. I had enough bringing up my own football mad kids without chasing after someone else's.

Exactly! No child likes having to wait but it's something they learn to do.

why can't the parents buy a big sack of cheap balls so the children have some spares? After all, what happens if the OP is out all day and the children have to wait hours? That would be annoying for them. Spare balls could solve this.

LookAtMoiPloise · 23/09/2021 22:57

@gannett

Not bothered about throwing balls back over but it'll be at my convenience. That could mean the same day, later in the week or later in the month.

I only answer the door if it's convenient for me as well, and I don't really have any shame about this even if they know I'm home, and nor will I give in. Constant ringing would be a real issue for me whether done by a child or an adult and would make me far less amenable to whatever they want. Rude to demand I drop what I'm doing like that.

I'm the exact same and it worked for me; haven't had a ball came over in a few weeks now.
CharityDingle · 23/09/2021 23:11

@junebirthdaygirl

My ds's friend had a cranky lady next door who flatly refused to throw a ball back or let him fetch it. He loved football so lost a lot of balls all year. On Christmas morning the lady called over with a large sack of balls which she had collected all year!! He was thrilled. So once a week or each lunchtime sounds pretty reasonable compared to that.
Why didn't he stop kicking balls over before he 'lost' so many!
godmum56 · 23/09/2021 23:15

@chickenandchipsinabasket
"exactly! No child likes having to wait but it's something they learn to do.

why can't the parents buy a big sack of cheap balls so the children have some spares? After all, what happens if the OP is out all day and the children have to wait hours? That would be annoying for them. Spare balls could solve this."

ermmm no I wouldn't want a load of balls coming over the fence into my garden. I want the children and parents to learn that this is not acceptable and to do their best to stop it. Its not impossible. There are children in 3 of the 7 gardens that sirround my garden (odd L shape) and I get asked for balls to be returned less than once a month. In the OP's circs, I wouldn't care if the darling kiddies were annoyed.

or is this a joke? I mean it has to be????

CharityDingle · 23/09/2021 23:20

@StoneofDestiny

Not sure why OP is getting a hard time!

The parents of these kids need telling that you don't want endless knocks on the door, that you are attending to your own children's needs and can't run into your garden several times a day, nor do you want them staring through the letterbox! Just ask them to tell their kids if the balls come in the garden you will throw them back when you are not busy and they are not to knock the door.

Crikey they are 8 and 10 and must know better.

I've had kids kick balls over, but I'll give them back when I'm in the garden, not stop eating, reading, watching TV to run after my neighbours kids demands. I had enough bringing up my own football mad kids without chasing after someone else's.

Exactly.

I have been there, and this is exactly what I did. Kids will keep kicking them over for the added entertainment of ringing the neighbour's bell, and annoying them. When they have to wait, they generally learn to stop kicking the balls back over.

jpclarke · 23/09/2021 23:23

Just remember in a few more years it will be the opposite way around, it will probably be your kids putting balls into their garden.

chickenandchipsinabasket · 23/09/2021 23:29

[quote godmum56]@chickenandchipsinabasket
"exactly! No child likes having to wait but it's something they learn to do.

why can't the parents buy a big sack of cheap balls so the children have some spares? After all, what happens if the OP is out all day and the children have to wait hours? That would be annoying for them. Spare balls could solve this."

ermmm no I wouldn't want a load of balls coming over the fence into my garden. I want the children and parents to learn that this is not acceptable and to do their best to stop it. Its not impossible. There are children in 3 of the 7 gardens that sirround my garden (odd L shape) and I get asked for balls to be returned less than once a month. In the OP's circs, I wouldn't care if the darling kiddies were annoyed.

or is this a joke? I mean it has to be????[/quote]
Not a joke but I admit to being a bit of a wuss with confrontation so...Grin

chickenandchipsinabasket · 23/09/2021 23:30

[quote godmum56]@chickenandchipsinabasket
"exactly! No child likes having to wait but it's something they learn to do.

why can't the parents buy a big sack of cheap balls so the children have some spares? After all, what happens if the OP is out all day and the children have to wait hours? That would be annoying for them. Spare balls could solve this."

ermmm no I wouldn't want a load of balls coming over the fence into my garden. I want the children and parents to learn that this is not acceptable and to do their best to stop it. Its not impossible. There are children in 3 of the 7 gardens that sirround my garden (odd L shape) and I get asked for balls to be returned less than once a month. In the OP's circs, I wouldn't care if the darling kiddies were annoyed.

or is this a joke? I mean it has to be????[/quote]
Kudos to you, it does sound like you have more of a spine than I do when it comes to neighbours kids!

dmudbur · 23/09/2021 23:48

We have this only slightly worse in that our neighbours now think it's OK to just pop into our garden to retrieve their thrown over toys!

It really pisses me off especially as a I have a 1 year old myself and have visions of balls and frisbees flying over the fence and smacking her one.

I have considered quickly disposing of them. "Ball... What ball? No balls here" Halo

Bagamoyo1 · 23/09/2021 23:53

@GinIronic

Stab each ball with your bread knife and then throw them back. They will soon get the hint. Grin
If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres.
Bagamoyo1 · 24/09/2021 00:00

@jpclarke

Just remember in a few more years it will be the opposite way around, it will probably be your kids putting balls into their garden.
This!

Whenever I read these threads I marvel at peoples smugness and inability to see into their own possible future.

I too sat in my garden with my 2 dainty little toddlers, splashing sweetly in the paddling pool or playing quietly in the sandpit, while next door’s giant 7 year old hoofed his ball over every few minutes. He would come to the door to retrieve it with monotonous regularity, until I suggested he just climb over the fence (which I knew he could do).

Fast forward a few years and my kids are the ones kicking a football around, and as hard as they try, it’s impossible to avoid kicking it over now and then. The football kid neighbours are fine about it, but the other side are like many of you lot. They don’t return the balls for months on end. I’ve seen them walking around the balls in the middle of their lawn, clearly just making a point. Petty and nasty. Their kids aren’t into football so they don’t care.

LookAtMoiPloise · 24/09/2021 00:28

If you did that to my kids footballs I’d do it to your car tyres

Ooh, watch out everyone!