School trips divorced parents

[Cally23]

Hi,

I'm trying to get my exh to agree to pay 50% of school trips. We have 2 dc in primary and trips are affordable and basic. But there is one residential coming up not sure how much prob around £200. I'm worried about secondary school though.

I don't want to set up presidence that I pay for it all. I'm only on basic income. My ex is a high earner and has a second income from his partner (irrelevant but still, shows the imbalance)

He thinks child maintenance pays for everything and should cover no more. I get £500 pm for 2 kids. Does this cover the £2k ski trip in secondary?! Or do parents just not send their kids to these trips? Don't want them to miss out but don't want to panic and make a fuss if really, not many go on all these pricey trips.

@BingBongToTheMoon

Technically he’s right, maintenance is supposed to cover everything. MORALLY though, he should pay half, but I doubt he will. All you can do is ask I’m afraid.

Sums it up

Not all go on the trips but they would still be doable on that child support. If he pays £500, you match the same plus any child benefit and that’s easily enough to cover food , clothes and school things for two children.
Most schools advertise well in advance and run the same trips per year group or they did pre covid,

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Not all go on the trips but they would still be doable on that child support. If he pays £500, you match the same plus any child benefit and that’s easily enough to cover food , clothes and school things for two children. Most schools advertise well in advance and run the same trips per year group or they did pre covid,

Food, clothes and school things?

What about a home, gas and electric, shoes, travel, childcare and the likes?

Not to mention that if the two parents are to “match the same” then the OP would surely be contributing the same percentage of her income - not necessarily the same amount in cash… of course that wouldn’t happen because there’s no way a RP would get away with limiting their contribution to the children to 16% of their income.

@Saladovercrispsanyday no no other children, just the two

My ex doesn't pay me any maintenance and very very rarely gives me any money for anything.

2k ski trips! What sort of school do your kids go to?

Those saying £500 isn't bad or that it's a lot - it's not, it's a percentage of salary. The children should have all the things that their dad. Am afford and that they'd get if mum and dad were together. Handing over the bare minimum and washing his hands of everything else is disgusting.

It seems a lot to those of us with low earning exs or those who just don't lay but let's not set the bar there

He sounds like a tight arse. I don't agree that £500 for two children pm is a generous maintenance from a high earner, and he shouldn't think twice about paying for school trips etc. He should be supporting his children to the extent that they enjoy the same lifestyle that he enjoys himself.

[quote Cally23]@Saladovercrispsanyday no no other children, just the two[/quote]
In that case he’s on around £45k a year
Not a high rate tax payer

And that’s presuming he makes no pension contributions whatsoever

If he did, it would be based on after pension deductions

I have issues with expensive school trips because its the same families struggling missing out and school should be a fair enviroment

Me too. All the ‘must wear exactly the same uniform, so nobody knows you’re poor, but can’t afford x y z …. Shame life’s not fair

What about a home, gas and electric

Both parents would have those costs with or without children and they both need a home for the children to go to.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss ha, not my kids super dad. He pays nothing to live and he's been ordered to pay me 7 pounds a week for 3 kids. He is yet to do so
He sponges by living at his wife's mums and doesn't pay a penny. It's different for everyone in the maintenance situation

@Saladovercrispsanyday he most certainly is. More like 70k and paying into his handsome pension so maybe he's fiddling me more than I thought. Have thought about getting an official CMS calculation

£45k is £500 a month for two children

But if you know it’s more

Then it must be after pension.

Very easy to use the CMS calculation tool.

But you would need to know his pension contribution.

So this figure was agreed between you?

While I do think he should contribute towards school trips so that his children get to experience these things - though maybe not this mad 2k ski trip (!), which you should both boycott - if £500 is his maintenance figure for 2 kids then he's not a massively high earner (assuming the figures are derived honestly from his true income) so he may not have as much cash splashing about as you think.

Also it's not 'all on your plate' because part of your household income comes from him? So he is contributing, even if indirectly, to any trips they go on.

[quote Cally23]@Saladovercrispsanyday he most certainly is. More like 70k and paying into his handsome pension so maybe he's fiddling me more than I thought. Have thought about getting an official CMS calculation[/quote]
Cross posted with you, I would definitely get an official CMS calculation if this is the case. Get what you're owed.

@Saladovercrispsanyday for sure it's over 45k. S I say my money (ho ho ho) is on somewhere close to 70k. Pension conts around 12.5% I think.

In that case unfortunately
He’s paying the correct amount in term of CMS

Pension contributions are exempt.

It’s difficult to know whether being unreasonable without knowing your income from your salary and benefits and what you walked away with in terms of equity, savings and investments, pensions etc

An expensive trip I’d ask him to pay half, it’s a one off extra cost so shouldn’t come out of the standard monthly child support. I know in secondary me and my sisters all had Saturday/holiday jobs and had to save our own contribution if it was a super expensive trip like this.

Depends how often he has them overnight. On 70k with 12.5% pension he should be paying more than 500 if he doesn't have them overnight, but maybe not if he does. Try the calculator online

I got it written into my court order that he had to pay half of all significant purchases on top of maintenance so that's always an option?

Do you have a CAO ?

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

What about a home, gas and electric

Both parents would have those costs with or without children and they both need a home for the children to go to.

And the rest of the things you conveniently ignore would pay for themselves would they?

Being a high earner doesn’t mean he has to provide additional money. £500 a month is a lot of money & you don’t state how often he has his child. We have our SS 3 nights (4 days) a week & my partner pays £170 a month to his ex, who also expects additional money for school trips. I think sometimes it’s forgotten that we also have bills to pay. We have another child together (who we don’t spend £170 extra a month on vs SS) & it should be fair across the board. If we couldn’t afford our child to go on a trip they wouldn’t go (and sometimes don’t) but it’s expected we cough up additional money for our SS to attend every trip. Live within your means, our children (all of them whether a bonus step child/biological) need to be taught the value of money

We have our SS 3 nights (4 days) a week & my partner pays £170 a month to his ex

Thought you'd moved 250miles away and saw your SS in the holidays?