Page 5 | My husband's reason for marrying me

Rose916 · 2021-09-21T21:13:06+00:00

My husband recently said he married me because I have a "number of good qualities" (his words) I initially felt flattered by this statement but now I'm not sure! (Maybe I would have preferred "because I love you with all my heart") What would you have thought if your partner had said the reason they're with you is for "your good qualities". Nice thing to say or a little strange? Interested to know if I'm being too sensitive!

BigFatLiar · 22/09/2021 10:04

After reading this I asked OH this earlier, his answer 'It's not nine o'clock yet have you been drinking?'

Lillyhatesjaz · 22/09/2021 12:09

My DH married me for my microwave, I got a good deal too as he had a tumble dryer.
We have been married for 25 years

bumblingbovine49 · 22/09/2021 19:25

DH said he married me as I was the only person he had met that he could imagine being able to live with. He is a deeply self sufficient person who needs very few people in his life. I would not usually see myself as that easy to live with but I didn't argue and took it as the compliment it was meant as .

Iflyaway · 22/09/2021 19:37

Just seems so unromantic doesn't it!

Trouble is, European culture is all about fairy stories. "And they lived happily ever after".... yea, right.

Three high-profile cases in the last two/3 days shows that women need to become independent of men, then you may find someone who may be there for you.

I don't have the answer either

SapatSea · 22/09/2021 19:45

I asked an ex once why he liked me and he said "no one likes someone who has to fish for compliments"- I got my coat..

JayniSummers · 22/09/2021 20:01

My husbands proposed by saying' you make lovely chips , I wanna keep you"
23 years on , I guess we are doing OK, although I no.longer make chips

BigSandyBalls2015 · 23/09/2021 09:19

DHs dad offered to pay for expensive flights for our honeymoon ‘if/when’ we got married … this was announced over lunch one Sunday. We got into the car to go home and DH said “we’ll that's an offer not to be refused, so shall we” … the romance 🤣😍

Mummadeze · 23/09/2021 17:53

I wish I had been wise enough to marry someone who had a number of good qualities. I think it shows you are a good match. My reasons were immature and shallow (purely lust and physical attraction) and I no longer respect or like my partner very much. Hopefully his response will stand you in good stead for a long, happy union.

Harls1969 · 23/09/2021 18:01

I'd not worry OP. Some men just aren't good at words. Do you feel that he loves you? Is he emotionally available? Do you get on? If yes you're fine. If I asked my DH he'd definitely say something about my tits or blow jobs or something crude. But we don't do romantic stuff, we call each other cunts and twats and they're terms of endearment

4BlueTowers · 23/09/2021 18:10

Mine says 'because you have sensational tits'.

It's been over 20 years so although they are still sensational it has to be more tha that.

Darlingx · 23/09/2021 18:14

Rose916

I think the men who are romantically hopeless are more trustworthy . It’s the charming ones that say music to your ears that sometimes are just using words of persuasion they have no intention of delivering on. So I specifically settled with someone who is loyal and caring but gives the strangest compliments. My favourite is you have a see through bottom or I like the way your breasts hang. My ego has become teflon coated but I know he loves me to bits he just hasn’t got a clue how to be romantic .

4BlueTowers · 23/09/2021 18:14

@Harls1969

I'd not worry OP. Some men just aren't good at words. Do you feel that he loves you? Is he emotionally available? Do you get on? If yes you're fine. If I asked my DH he'd definitely say something about my tits or blow jobs or something crude. But we don't do romantic stuff, we call each other cunts and twats and they're terms of endearment

I call my DH 'fathead'.

he calls me 'lunatic'.

Definitely an endearment. (I think.... )

lynnielou · 23/09/2021 18:14

Reminds me of a TV show a few years ago where the host asked the male of the couple “what’s the best thing about your wife?”
After what seemed like an eternity of him staring into space whilst the wife looked ever more uncomfortable, the words he came out with were “she’s very punctual”. Cue hilarious laughter from audience and host but not wife surprisingly.
Bet he was in almighty trouble on the way home......

Shona52 · 23/09/2021 18:20

Think my DH married me for my cooking . It's a bit of a strange way to put why you married someone but sweet in away I guess

HoikingUpMyBigGirlPantss · 23/09/2021 18:20

I recall my DF (without a romantic bone in his body) saying to my DM once that he married her for her beautiful eyebrows. (He also had a soft spot for Audrey Hepburn for the same reason we think)
DM was

4BlueTowers · 23/09/2021 18:22

@HoikingUpMyBigGirlPantss

I recall my DF (without a romantic bone in his body) saying to my DM once that he married her for her beautiful eyebrows. (He also had a soft spot for Audrey Hepburn for the same reason we think) DM was

aaaahhhh but did she pass those beautiful eyebrows on?

Dibbydoos · 23/09/2021 18:50

My mate told me her mum told her to marry someone better than her so she could grow. That's what she did and she gas a fabulous home life/relationship. They both love each other deeply.
My hubby told me he married me cos he loved me, and whilst I loved him (he died in 2016 I've been whole since) I knew I could learn loads from him.
As long as you're happy, does it matter? If he didn't love you, you wouldn't be married...

CrazyAllAroundMe · 23/09/2021 18:58

@YourFinestPantaloons

If I had actually scrutinised exH's good qualities (not many) vs bad qualities, rather than focussing on the passion/heady romance, I'd not have wasted 12 years being miserable.

I think there is a hell of a lot to be said for pragmatism in relationships

100% this

pompey38 · 23/09/2021 19:12

Better than mine : I iron his shirts nicely 😂 15 yrs still going strong so I couldn’t care less to be honest 👍

StargazerAli · 23/09/2021 19:20

I wouldn't read too much in to it. You know if he loves you or not.

aimsi · 23/09/2021 20:41

My ex fiancé admitted he didn’t really want to get married but after 8 years together he thought ‘it was the right thing to do’ to keeep me, even though I’d never shown any interest in marriage… sadly he didn’t think of the right thing when he was nobbing various women and trying it on with my mates and sis in law (whilst I was at the same party) and her friends… classy guy.

ConsulTremas · 23/09/2021 20:56

Possibly without exception all of the couples I know who were madly and overtly in love when they married are now divorced.

firstimemamma · 23/09/2021 21:02

Having seen this thread I asked mine and he said it was so he could claim marriage tax allowance

His then gave his real answer which was that he loves me so much.

mathanxiety · 23/09/2021 21:05

I would swoon at that.

The truly, madly, deeply stuff tends to fade.

lilmishap · 23/09/2021 21:11

@Darlingx

Rose916

I think the men who are romantically hopeless are more trustworthy . It’s the charming ones that say music to your ears that sometimes are just using words of persuasion they have no intention of delivering on. So I specifically settled with someone who is loyal and caring but gives the strangest compliments. My favourite is you have a see through bottom or I like the way your breasts hang. My ego has become teflon coated but I know he loves me to bits he just hasn’t got a clue how to be romantic .

"Loyal and Caring but good at the strangest Compliments is what I settled for" said the Mumsnetter with the hanging tits and transparent arse..in a strangely caring yet complimentary way.

I love your comment so much!