I have just gone nuts at my husband and just want to sense check this. Basically we needed a cat sitter to visit our cat twice a day over a long weekend away. The usual cat sitter is unavailable, so without asking me, he's asked a friend and his wife whether they want to come and stay at our house for the weekend.
I am so stressed at the moment with working practically full-time, running kids to clubs, organising parties, and a million other admin jobs in my head, that I can't cope with the idea that I'm suddenly going to have to get the house organised and clean enough for people who I don't know well, to STAY. I barely keep on top of the house as it is. This would all fall to me, as he would do the minimum to help. The idea is really stressing me out.
I think it's irrelevant what the reason is (cat-sitting)- it's inappropriate to organise something like this, which is going to create a lot of extra stress for me, without even asking me. It should just be a basic matter of respect to check with a partner before making these types of plans?
AIBU?
DH invited friends to stay without asking me
BeepyBoo · 20/09/2021 23:14
People definitely do go a-rooting, as someone so nicely put it!
I had some friends house-sit for me while I was away for a couple of weeks. I didn't want anyone going in my bedroom, but they had the spare and another bedroom to use. I piled my bed up with all the junk and stuff I'd cleared away from the rest of the house, and asked them not to use my room.
When I got back, they obviously HAD let someone use my room 
as the bed had been cleared. I was not at all happy - wish I'd been able to lock my bedroom door to keep them out, but it wasn't possible.
@LittleGwyneth
I always employed somebody to come in morning and late afternoon/early evening to feed the cats, make sure they were all right, etc. It worked jolly well too, the person/people (a couple were in business doing it latterly), were extremely conscientious.
Once we were away for husband's firm's annual dinner and received a telephone call from the pet minders; they hadn't been able to get into our house that evening, the key wouldn't work or something.
We went to the dinner, then made our excuses and drove home.
We had been burgled. The burglars had got in through the glass back door which they smashed (we hadn't changed the door when we moved here, just assumed it was tougher than it was), and did something to the front door to prevent anyone coming in that way while they were burgling! Husband broke into front door to allow us access, he had immediately thought of burglars, I hadn't. It was horrible coming into our home and seeing everything ransacked.
My engagement ring was missing, I had left it on a shelf intending to wear it or take it with me and forgot to do so. That was many years ago but since then I've always looked in second hand jewellery shops in case it was there but never seen one like it. I'm not generally sentimental about 'things', including jewellery, but that little ring meant a lot. It wasn't valuable, cost £28 in 1974, but it was pretty and I liked it. I got another ring on insurance but not so nice. Late mother in law's solid gold watch had gone too.
The cats were upstairs; I remember going up and they came out of the back bedroom to greet us, miaowing and stressed. First thing I did was feed them in the kitchen. When we 'phoned the police we were told not to move or touch anything but I said, "I must feed the cats", to which they agreed.
Oh well, you didn't need to know my life story
, but this thread brought back memories and it was therapeutic for me to write it all.
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