To wonder why my friend keeps blocking and unblocking my number on WhattsApp?

[Cactus1982]

I’ve got a friend who seems to randomly block and unblock me on WhattsApp a lot of the time for no reason whatsoever. So we’ll be chatting normally and then the next minute I’ll find she’s blocked me, then she’ll unblock me again, sometimes later in the day sometimes several days later and will resume contact with me as though nothing has happened! There’s no fall out she just blocks me, but never actually blocks my number altogether because my texts still go through (I know they’ve got through but she just doesn’t respond).

Whenever I ask her about it she always ‘oh sorry I blocked you by mistake’ and when I’ve asked if I’ve upset her she always seems shocked by and says they I haven’t.

AIBU to think this is strange behaviour? And also I don’t believe you can
block someone by mistake. How can you, you actually have to go into someone’s number and select block on WhattsApp to do it. I’d never block a friend, or anyone actually unless they’d been sending me abusive or threatening messages so I find it quite hurtful.

I block people on messenger especially if I I'm trying to work. They are too distracting and I'd get caught up with talking shite

She sounds odd and you sound very patient OP

I feel that she’s pushing people away for whatever reason. But there’s not a lot else I can do now. She knows where I am if she wants to chat.

She does sound a lot like my old friend. In hindsight I gave her far too much headspace. You have done the right thing saying you are there if she needs you and then leaving her to make the next contact.

I did this and eventually when I realised her behaviour made me second guess everything it was pointless. I just wish I had seen it like that much sooner.

The last time we met up she said how much she had enjoyed my company but I couldn't get past wondering when she would be taking weeks to read and reply to my messages and how she actually made me feel on edge.

Not seen or talked to since and happier not have to second guess her anymore.

It was fun. She was lovely. For a time, then she was hard work. She knew I was a option. But that's all I was to her. She had lots going on to. But dont we all?

Yes @IncessantNameChanger I think I know what you mean. I’m always worried that I’ve upset her in some way, even though I know that I haven’t.

I would find a different way of communicating with her. Perhaps text or phone calls are better. The very fact she is so nervous around social media and is a private person tells me she is not comfortable with that method of contact, for whatever reason (nothing to do with you or your messages) and I suspect she is blocking as a way of trying to control/minimise or manage her feelings of exposure.

It is not fair to you to feel rejected and somewhat confused by her actions, and so I would conclude that WA does not work for either of you and revert to another way of chatting using a method where blocking is not an option.

It is her issue not yours, if you really like her as you have said you do. Then give her the benefit of the doubt and switch the way you stay in contact.

Her phone is switched off a lot of the time at the moment. In an interesting development I watched her unblock and then block me again several times this afternoon when I was on there talking to someone else. I could see her photo and last seen reappearing and then disappearing multiple times. I’m now blocked again. Such weird behaviour I don’t know what to make of it anymore.

She might be offloading her app to save space. It has the same effect when I do it.

I have my WhatsApp set to not show when I was 'Last Seen'. It shows me as online when I am, then when I'm not, it's blank.

I thought I’d update to say since I posted this thread I’ve been unblocked and blocked multiple times. Currently blocked but was unblocked all week (a bit of a record) and we had a perfectly nice and normal chat on the phone last Saturday. I really don’t get it at all?

@aquashiv

I block people on messenger especially if I I'm trying to work. They are too distracting and I'd get caught up with talking shite

I’ve left groups for this reason. I’ll be trying to do a project and get buzzed constantly

Quite honestly do you think you contact her too much? some people might think daily contact is too much, everyone is different. I'd back right off and point out that she could use the mute feature rather than blocking.
I wouldn't continue to bother with a friend like yours, she's telling you she doesn't want to have much to do with you. Even if she doesn't admit it.

Nine times out of ten it’s her that contacts me first though @solarsky

I can add some insight maybe ,
You say she does all the instigation or most of it anyway ?
I went through a phase of this when I was a young adult, I’d message friends random stuff , the weather , funny jokes , anecdotes- I was lonely, going thru some stuff and quite awkward in face to face conversations and I craved the responses I would get via text BUT then I guess I was conscious that maybe I was messaging too much or that I was doing all the instigation and I felt if I didn’t message no one would message me first so I would delete the numbers and wait til they texted me back to reinstate the number
It sounds crazy when I type this out but I was just addicted and the more messages I sent the more crap I felt if someone didn’t respond ,
Maybe your friend has something similar going on?

@Cactus1982 are you sure that it’s actually you personally she is blocking / unblocking? I sometimes have mine set to not show anyone that I’m online or show notifications that I’ve read messages! she might be doing that !

I used to block someone in particular as she often messaged me during the night, but I didn’t put my phone on silent as I have children that sleep at their dads and so would like to hear if he messaged. I don’t want to get woken up by her messages through the night though. I liked this person and had no issues with her other than this. Embarrassed that she now knows I have been blocking her as I didn’t know she could tell

It’s only weird if she’s specifically blocking and unblocking YOU. If she’s doing something to her WhatsApp or her phone that makes it look like you’re being blocked but is in fact a blanket thing that applies to everyone, then it’s perhaps a little odd, but not something for you to take personally at all, and you should just ignore it and not worry about it. She may feel weird about explaining what she’s doing if it’s not to do with you, and if she’s doing it for general privacy reasons, she may be particularly not keen to have to “explain herself”.
Do you have any mutual friends who can say if they see the same thing on their phones?

@Duxiejhrhrvjz

I used to block someone in particular as she often messaged me during the night, but I didn’t put my phone on silent as I have children that sleep at their dads and so would like to hear if he messaged. I don’t want to get woken up by her messages through the night though. I liked this person and had no issues with her other than this. Embarrassed that she now knows I have been blocking her as I didn’t know she could tell

Why didn't you just mute her?

Shes switched off her 'last seen' in the settings.

@lilmishap

Shes switched off her 'last seen' in the settings.

No she hasn’t, read there thread. She has admitted to blocking me.

I think she is doing it for general privacy reasons. I’m not sure it’s just me she’s doing it and have a feeling she doesn’t to everyone when she doesn’t feel like talking. But obviously can’t know that for sure.