To wonder why my friend keeps blocking and unblocking my number on WhattsApp?

[Cactus1982]

I’ve got a friend who seems to randomly block and unblock me on WhattsApp a lot of the time for no reason whatsoever. So we’ll be chatting normally and then the next minute I’ll find she’s blocked me, then she’ll unblock me again, sometimes later in the day sometimes several days later and will resume contact with me as though nothing has happened! There’s no fall out she just blocks me, but never actually blocks my number altogether because my texts still go through (I know they’ve got through but she just doesn’t respond).

Whenever I ask her about it she always ‘oh sorry I blocked you by mistake’ and when I’ve asked if I’ve upset her she always seems shocked by and says they I haven’t.

AIBU to think this is strange behaviour? And also I don’t believe you can
block someone by mistake. How can you, you actually have to go into someone’s number and select block on WhattsApp to do it. I’d never block a friend, or anyone actually unless they’d been sending me abusive or threatening messages so I find it quite hurtful.

I do this on occasion. Sometimes I notice that I have spent far too long messaging a certain person and need to take a break to concentrate on work or whatever . I could mute but there is still the temptation to check my messages and then I've spent another 30mins on my phone ! I wouldn't take it personally if u haven't fell out or whatever. Sometimes ppl just need a break from messaging and their phones.

@PumpkinsGalore

Ps, the reason I think it's logging in & out specifically, is because when you log out of WA, you're considered 'unavailable' in WA terms. Test it out with someone if you're really curious

You can't log out of WhatsApp

@VanGoSunflowers

God I wouldn’t even notice if someone did this, let alone give a fuck to be honest!

🏅

The only form of social media she has is Instagram and I’ve noticed that she was online at some point in the last few hours because she’s liked and commented on a few things, so at least I know she’s ok and alive. Hopefully I’ll hear from her again soon.

People are allowed boundaries, checking her online activity seems very ott.

She probably does it to stop being distracted. I mute groups all the time for this reason .... and then unmute as soon as I feel unloved 🙄

@Sundaynightnamechange

People are allowed boundaries, checking her online activity seems very ott.

I’m not checking her online activity. She likes and follows a lot of the same people I do.

I would say from your posts that this is 100% about her and not you doing anything wrong. She has some kind of anxiety or isn't good with friendships/communication. Just let her crack on and stop taking it personally.

If it doesn't bother you, then just let her contact you as and when.

If it does bother you (and you ARE allowed to be bothered by it regardless of why she is doing it) then you can either deal with it by not being available whenever she fancies talking to you - after all it's ok to see a friendship as 2 way and if she's not available when you'd like a chat why should you always be available when she wants a chat? Or you can just block her back, even if only occasionally, to give yourself some distance from her.

You don't HAVE to be ok with it!

I think you are right @ClaryFairchild . It’s just hard not to take blocking personally even though I know it’s not personal and I’ve not done anything wrong. I’ll leave her be I think until she’s ready to talk.

Could she be struggling with her mental health? You mentioned she is quite a private person, I too sometimes feel I can't handle social media/ WhatsApp messages, Facebook etc. I've just come off FB as it was affecting my mental health. Similarly, I have had to achieve some messages on WhatsApp for various reasons as the flow, volume of messaging started to affect me. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't feel the negative impact / intrusion of such things, but it can be hard for some of us

Do you think the means to mute it rather than block if she doesn't want to be disturbed

@DirtyDancing yes, I think there is a possibility that she could be struggling with her mental health. She won’t add me on Facebook. I know she has a profile but she only has her family on it and has the tightest security settings. She doesn’t have Twitter and her Instagram is blank with no photos on it and she just uses it to follow people and things she interested in. She has however sent me photos via WhatsApp in the past.

@MolyHolyGuacamole Yes you can! I just did it now....

@Cactus1982 Won't add you on Facebook?!? Ok that's strange. Now it sounds like she's hiding her friendship with you for some reason. Can you think of why??

[quote PumpkinsGalore]@MolyHolyGuacamole Yes you can! I just did it now....[/quote]
Without deleting the app? Their own website says you can't log out

She might be “admitting” to having blocked you through misunderstanding- ie she may have changed settings to “no delivery receipts” or some sort of general increased privacy as she does, then you’ve said “oi why’ve you blocked me” and she apologised for “blocking” you as she realised whatever she’d done had “blocked” you. I’ve never blocked anyone on WhatsApp in my life, and if I’d changed privacy settings as she’d done, and a friend told me I’d blocked her, I’d apologise for blocking her and set it back again. But I wouldn’t actually have specifically blocked her - just her misunderstanding what “blocking” is.

You said your messages were getting through?

If you get 2 ticks you can't be blocked. Cadent was right you can change settings so your profile pic goes but that doesn't mean blocked

@PumpkinsGalore she only has close family on her Facebook. Literally parents and siblings and I think her aunts. That’s it. I know she had a big fall out with some friends a while back and it got nasty and that’s why she removed all but family. This was before we became friends though.

@Willyoujustbequiet she blocks me on WhatsApp but doesn’t block my numbers so I can still texts to her, phone her etc. Just not on WhatsApp.

It’s a her problem. I, too have a friend who will randomly go silent mid way through a convo, block me, put “distance yourself from negative people” when I speak to her statuses etc etc - then invite me out the week after. I am bemused by all of this- I have never said a mean word to her or been anything other than friendly and positive. It’s just her- take it or leave it. I like her so I have stepped back, if she decides to like me again- OK, if she doesn’t- no worries. The trick is to emotionally detach and not take it personally.

But this is totally different as there has been no fall out and when it's happened the friend has apologised and said its an accident

No its not. She & I never fell out but if she fell out with someone else or was in a mood I got the brunt of it. We'd be chatting one day and next day I was blocked. It's just tiring and un necessary which is why I finally blocked her. Unfortunately what was a good friendship is now over and I'm no longer part of her circus

If she was scanning through your info she might accidentally press block when scrolling back up. I wouldn’t worry about it to be honest.

She sounds quite hard to be friends with.

I had a friend who I would sometimes hide or delete their number, as they occupied too much of my mental space. I would feel too caught in their world with lots of messaging and online intimacy, but no real friendship. I am aware I emotionally invest in people bit she could take people or leave them.

Creating those boundaries felt like self preservation. She wasn't a bad person or annoying, but our approaches to friendship were different.

It was a friendship that imploded as I realised that it was either intense or distant and very one sided for a casual friendship. She would blow hot and cold, which is why I had to control the intimacy. She is like that with everyone - it just wasn't for me.

Maybe just for a break from messages?

I’ve heard from her this afternoon. She’s fine, just has quite a lot going on. I replied saying I’m here if she wants to chat anytime and have left it that.