Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think there is an inverse relationship between how little money people have and how much they are willing to spend on presents for their children

667 replies

Twiglett · 05/12/2007 12:20

am truly gobsmacked at some of the things that people I know are buying for their children

truly and utterly, spoilt bastard, gobsmacked

why spend that much money? why?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/12/2007 21:09

my retirement plan is to bite the bullet before i drop dead at work.

MerryKerryXmas · 05/12/2007 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 05/12/2007 21:11

oh, and btw, plenty of people who live in rented council homes do not receive housing benefit or get free rent.

many are low income, and they pay the full council rent, which of course is lower than market rent, but which a low wage earner couldn't afford.

LittleBella · 05/12/2007 21:15

Look at this self-congratulatory "I only give middle-class presents" emetic article

alphamummy strikes again

Rhubarb · 05/12/2007 21:16

Good point expat. We live in a privately rented house, temporary until the home owner dies and her family sell it, which could be any day. We don't get any housing benefits and most of the private rentals discriminate freely by stating that they will not take DSS.

Yes there are always those people who live in council houses, get loads of benefits and who's houses are kitted out with the latest and most expensive equipment. But equally you'll also get those rich arses who stuff all their money in their mattresses, wear second hand clothes, won't pay their bills and won't give a penny to anyone.

The majority of us are decent, hard working people. It would do well to remember that.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/12/2007 21:17

Absolutely expat.

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/12/2007 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SantasUnderGodzillasBumcheek · 05/12/2007 21:18

I do not have a flat screen, i have an at least 5 year old tv, and freeview (sky is not within our budget!)
I do not smoke (tobaco or other)
I drink very infrequently (at Christmas and on my Birthday i get a bottle of Bacardi, but that's it)
I don't go to restaurants or cafes
Clothes are Primark or Supermarket (but mainly Primark!)
I certainly haven't got a Council House - we are privately renting a damp house with a bedroom too few
Oh, and no car, no debt, no credit card

soapbox · 05/12/2007 21:19

Who gives a flying fuck what anyone else spends on presents for their children?

I don't like to think of people getting into debt because of feeling they need to spend a lot of money at Christmas, but they are grown ups afterall!

We all have different values regarding different things.

We are, as these things go, extremely 'comfortable', but for the life of me I cannot justify spending a small fortune on a flash car that just gets you from A to B. So we drive around in a couple of pretty old cars! If we wanted to we could go out tomorrow and buy a Merc each - but it just isn't us! However, I do not judge every Merc driver as a flash git with more money than sense!

MerryKerryXmas · 05/12/2007 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhubarb · 05/12/2007 21:23

I'd sooner see some parents splash out £600 on a quad bike for their brat, than a parent not give a shit. There is a boy at our school, he gets nothing for birthdays or Christmas, yet he buys his mum a present every year. This year he showed us all a handmade necklace he'd saved his lunch money to buy her, it's lovely. She'll take it without so much as a thanks and he'll get nothing. She doesn't even wash his clothes.

He desperately wants her love and she is unable to give it.

So yeah, if they wanna get into debt for the sake of a Christmas present, so be it.

MerryKerryXmas · 05/12/2007 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/12/2007 21:25

Oh rhubarb that sounds heartbreaking.

soapbox · 05/12/2007 21:25

Oh Rhubarb

Do you have his name and address? I'd love to surprise him

SantasUnderGodzillasBumcheek · 05/12/2007 21:25

Ah, soz

I spent £140 on each twin this year (including two suits of clothing each - which they need anyway!) and am thinking i overspent ...but it was all budgeted for. We are saving to move, hopefully, but i don't want to stop living in the meantime!

Rhubarb · 05/12/2007 21:26

No sorry, I couldn't give you that info. However we are going to get him something.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/12/2007 21:26

Aww soapy - what a lovely thing to do.

Staceym11PipersPiping · 05/12/2007 21:26

i know a lot of people have said that this isn't a 'tut tut' at people on benefits, but honestly reading a lot of it thats how it felt.

because they are on benefits does not necesarily mean they are useless with money. I am obsessed with money atm. because they keep f*cking up my benefits and it is really affecting my life.

my kids were going to get clothes for xmas but have recently decided to grow and needed them. now they have nothing for xmas and it makes me feel bad.

i know some people would say its about the day etc etc. which it is but to not have anything to give to them?

although i would prefer that than getting in debt, undoubtably!

soapbox · 05/12/2007 21:27

That's okay - I understand - although I could send it to you to pass on...

OhComeLetUsADiorHim · 05/12/2007 21:27

Oh blimey Rhubarb - that breaks my heart. Poor little boy .

Rhubarb · 05/12/2007 21:29

You could, but how do I explain it at the school?

However I could work round it, if you wanted to? Hmmmmmm. Difficult one that.

Lovely thought though! Let me get back to you on that one.

expatinscotland · 05/12/2007 21:30

Well, I lived on a council estate. And worked full time whilst DH stayed home to care for DD1.

I'd have to say most of the people who we met who lived there worked, at least part-time and many full-time, but in low wage jobs like care assistant, supermarket staff, nursery assistants or teachers, hospital workers, retired folks, carers, foster parents, etc.

These are the people who help our elderly parents in care and nursing homes, play with our children at school, deliver your groceries, clean the toilets and floors where you ate or shopped, make the bed in the hotel room where you spent your weekend away.

These are my friends, my relatives, my husband and the father of my children.

And I have to say, I am priviledged to have met some of the nicest folks I've ever met there - still in touch with quite a few.

So spare a thought for the children who might live a very deprived life otherwise, and don't give me twaddle about how bad they could have it in Africa.

Because this is the UK, and poverty and deprivation are just as much a reality for millions of children here as anywhere else.

How can you spoil a kid when you live on minimum wage or benefits?

Worse than that, how can you begrudge a child a good Christmas because of their parents' financial circumstance, no matter what it is (as if it's anyone's damn business)?

pukkapatch · 05/12/2007 21:32

IN ANSWER TO THE PEOPLE W who say that we shouldnt care what people on benefits spend there money on.

actually, i cant be bothered to get into this right now.
i too have noticed in rl that this inverse proportion exists.

soapbox · 05/12/2007 21:32

Just let me know and I'll do what I can. A present left on the doorstep could have come from anyone!

Staceym11PipersPiping · 05/12/2007 21:33

well said expat, much mroe eloquant than i!