to think there is an inverse relationship between how little money people have and how much they are willing to spend on presents for their children

[Twiglett]

am truly gobsmacked at some of the things that people I know are buying for their children

truly and utterly, spoilt bastard, gobsmacked

why spend that much money? why?

I agree with newy about recipients' behaviour. It is so dispiriting when you've spent time and trouble selecting a gift for someone, and they look as if you've offended them by daring to present such an unacceptable offering.

This attitude is taught by parents - and it cuts across all classes/incomes. Dh's family seems to think there's nothing wrong with almost openly sneering at things they don't like, and now his nieces follow suit.

Well, you show me where you have been as scathing and judgmental about wealthy people and their Christmas spending then

have I been 'scathing and judgemental' then?

have noticed the stuff you can buy today is so very cheap compared to the 80's/early 90's ( thank god for small working children in china eh?)

Maybe the reason poor people are poor is because they spend all their money at christmas where as rich people don't so they just get richer and richer and richer !

lol.

forgot to say that the important thing is - its ok to be rather smug in you " my children dont watch telly and only watch ballet" kind of way when you dont buy them expensive presents becuase you have rather huge mortgage and pretend its snobbery - but feel ok witht he decision becuase when you die - you leave your children tens of thousands - that poor people dont

I was thinking that, Custardo. It's all very well for us to gleefully buy up all that stuff in Lidl/Aldi/Pound Shop but someone's made it for a pittance, out of dodgy materials, and it's been shipped over in a giant container ship from China.

So those who proudly state that they bought all their gifts for every family member for 37p can't quite claim the moral high ground.

to buy up gleefully - awful split infinitive in that last post

I think all the money in the house goes to paying for your old age home nowadays doesn't it?

after all your kids won't have you to stay, cos you never bought them the wii they wanted when they were 6

well i certainly dont understand the property thng at all if that is the case.
i dont understand why people workt hemselves to the bone to be fleeced by bupa into having extra special cathater at a cost of hundred grand a year.

why bother?

and old people without houses to sell get cared for - so why bother working for you nice home?

my cousin falls into this category. She has a shit horrible job that she hates and which pays her peanuts and she struggles all year. She also lives in a horrible place (her view not mine. yet each christmas her children get piles and piles of presents - far more than mine get. But for her its the one day in the year when she pretends that they have everything they could ever want and her day to day worries are forgotten.

I dont necessarily agree with it - because of course if she was more careful at xmas shed have less problems in February (!)

But I dont have to live her life. And its very different me looking in from my nice little surbuban life.

Its a bit like the old argument - how can someone who cant afford a decent pair of shoes or a winter coat waste money on fags or booze - because in their mind the drink and the cigs take their mind off the fact that life isnt great.

And who are we to judge really.

Oh dont I go on

Ah Custy the way out of the care thing is what my friends did, buy a 3 storey house where the bottom floor os a falt- make certain council ahve allocated onepostcode first (thats important) if its new, then club together. Elderly aprents downstairs get flat and contribte 1/3, but when they go into care house can't be sold as you are resident. Then apss flat on to a child....

just had conversation with dh which went - when one of us dies we will sell up and give the kids the money and make them buy us a flat with a lifetime lease.

i don't een own a house!

Me neither Custy, cant say I am that bothered tbh (would be nice with Sn kids for their security but isnt to be so tehre you go)

Well we don't earn much but don't feel the need to splurge what we don't have on material items either. We own everything we have, nothing is on HP. We don't have a plasma telly or even a widescreen one, we don't have playstations, we have an Asda CD player, we have one cheapo computer bought 3 years ago. Basically, if we can't afford something we don't buy it. Our lives are none the worse for not having matching furniture or hi-tech gadgets.

The kids will get small, affordable presents. Things they will appreciate rather than just chuck in the garage to gather dust. Last year dd got a disposable camera and a scrapbook so she could keep a record of that year's Christmas - she loved it!

So not all poor people go out and buy the best of everything, landing themselves in more and more debt. And I'm sure that not all rich people only buy Oxfam unwrapped gifts either.

Birthdays for my kids are tea-parties at our house with their friends.

They have great fun and they interact more as friends than if they were throwing themselves around one of those hideous soft play areas.

I do buy the kids what they want at christmas, but to be honest they never want all that much, they know what they like and thats that.
They don't get anything just for the sake of it 'to put on a show'.
Ive spent twice as much on one as i have on the other, there's no point trying to buy crap just to make it up to equal cost for both.
Im lucky to be in a position to do this, but I would never ever spend £600 on a bike!
In fact I wouldn't spend £600 on anything!
They are definetly not spoiled which is probably why they don't ask for too much (thank goodness)
They do get things throughout the year that are 'needed' would never get what would be considered birthday/christmas items just for the sake of it.
We do tend to make a fuss though as all our birthdays are around christmas and we start planning months before so we can all have a great time and we can get through the christmas months on a normal budget (this comes from years of scrimping and saving on both mine and dp's part).

What are we arguing about discussing tonight then ladies?

Me being on benefits, spending all my money on fags, booze and christmas presents? And having a Council House?