to think there is an inverse relationship between how little money people have and how much they are willing to spend on presents for their children

[Twiglett]

am truly gobsmacked at some of the things that people I know are buying for their children

truly and utterly, spoilt bastard, gobsmacked

why spend that much money? why?

I doubt they all spend it on such a lifestyle but I have to admit it did make me laugh when they complained about not being able to pay their mortgage one month, erm stop going out then.........

I am on benefits and tbh my kids are doing quite well for pressies this year, but only because they are lucky enough to have very generous relatives and because I start buying stuff in June (their b'days are dec too).

Thing is, we don't have holidays at all, not even camping as we couldn't get there etc etc, and don't do anything else at all really and so if that means I in my council house, and on benefits buy my kids more presents than you might then thats fine by me, it is worth it to see the look on their face for one day, especially when every other day of the year I am having to say no.

Twig, snap, my kids too get an absolute MAXIMUM of £50 each spent on them.. and it cripples us to do that! We have 5 kids in total.. (2 of DH's, age 19 and 21) and they are "our kids" too so we try to give them to equivalent of what we've spent on the younger ones.

In fact the younger ones have a lot less than £50 spent on them this year.

I have no idea how a lot of people I know do it.. (buys dozens of presents per child!).. or even why!

Have to say though, mine have lots of very tiny pressies like pencils or something, which just makes it look like they have lots.

I have a friend who is ;ike that. she complins obouit having to buy the "cheapes nastest" food from Sainsbos, yet thought nothing of buying a set of dining room chairs for a grnad

We have stuggled with money until ver recent;y. We now have a decent income between us because I am now bcak at work (I have to alwmost cripple mysel;f to do it though) buut even so, I still won;t be spending more than £100 in total on both DSs Christmas pressies and DS1's 3rd birthday.

Agree wioth the big telly thing though. I teach singing to a child whose family have no wallpaper up, but have the biggest telly I have ever seen. We are current;ly watching a 15" protable, does that makes us mega rich/posh

DP and I are not massively in deby either. We were bboth brought up in the way that if you want sometninbg, you need to save up for it.

Oh and I agree with whoever said their friend buys lots because she feels guilty about being a single mum. I feel guilt about it every day for one reason or another.

Sorry, didnt read all of thread.

Have to agree Twig, one particular couple springs to mind - apparantly so flat broke that have to scrounge everything off his parents (including a house, car, a job, parents pay oil bills etc.. ) yet they spend the most ridiculous amount of money on Christmas presents!!(just happen to both be on benefits)

I remember their sons first Christmas - he was four months old and they spend 500 on him... ok, I know - none of my business but it bothers me because they are related to dp and they buy huge presents for every family member (approx 60 quid per person, about 200 on the parents) and it puts the rest of us in a position - looking "stingy" if we don't splash out on everyone ridiculously.

Anyway, regarding the madness on spending alot on children for Christmas - depending on your definition of madness, I could be accused of this. I've spent about 350 on 2 year old dd but in my defense I restrained myself and was very sensible her first Chrismas as she was only a few months old and spent about 20, last year about 100 (euro!) and think I wanted to splash out this year because its her first year to actually understand etc.. I can afford it, am not going into debt over it and to be honest, look at it that Im probably only going to get another 7 years or so of her "believing" so I want to make them fabulous. She would probably be happy with an empty box - she is the most appreciative child I know but if I'm honest with myself, I think I'm doing it more for me than her, coming from a one (alcoholic) parent family with nothing - I want her to have everything I did'nt (ridiculous, I know)

Also in my defense, we do the shoeboxes every year for the less fortunate, have bought eachother 200 worth of trocaire global gifts (which I am going to encourage her to ask for as one of her gifts from now on - tradition) and last week dd and I sat down, went through all her toys and cleared out 4 bin bags (plus one bin bag of clothes) for a lady I found with a one year old who is less fortunate than us, done this last 2 years and we will be doing this each year - because I want to teach her it's not all about her.

I don't think there is an inverse relationship, maybe sometimes but often not.

Well-off people can spend a ton on their children too. But it's easier to be judgemental about how poorer people spend their money.

I think the thing is though, everyone assigns different values to things. We are stony broke but own a nice flat and eat well, don't run a car or tv, don't have holidays, don't buy clothes...some would say we spend too much on food and Starbucks and not enough on whatever their priorities are, I'm sure.
Just as I think people who spend their hard-earned money on Sky tv or a different outfit for every night out are nuts.
I think there is a lot of shite out there for Christmas, it's not that pleasant hearing that people have spent hundreds of pounds on whatever the latest plasticky gimmick off the telly is. Because I want them to spend it on, oh I don't know, a really really fantastic meal and a lovely picture - that's what I want.

It all depends

If ou only buy toys etc on birthdays and Christmas then a larger spend is fine (esp. if its ayear when you buy a durable such as a bike or say a Wii- we probably get something like that every 3 years or so)

But I know waht you mean- I do see people on benefits with kids in designer clothes and posh bikes and wonder why, but perhaps they save and feel like the reason for being on benefits (maybe parental illness or single parents) gives them a guilt factor and they feel they owe that bit mre to their kids- probably wriongly but hey, aprental guilt- when was that ever reasonable?

Course there are the no-money=for-the=bills-but=hey-look-at-my-plasma-screen brigade out tehre but I think theres somewhat less then people beleive

I have gone completely mad with my ds this year mostly beacuse I have recently gone back to work so I have more money to spend and I did temping at M&S earlier this year and got a lot of stuff on 3 for 2 and then another 20% staff discount

My ds is really into his hornby railway and most of the trains are £80-£150 each so he has got one of those as his "main" present and lots of little ones....I have totalled it up and I have spent £280...which is pretty obscene really BUT we sponsor a child in Ethiopia and also do the xmas appeals every year and like barbielovesken have also just had a big sort out and gave loads of his old stuff to charity which makes me feel slightly better about it (but only slightly).

His first xmas I only spent about £40 and my friend thought I was being really stingy but a 6 month old doesnt even know whats going on! In fact its only the last year or so that he has been into xmas at all.

Cant wait to get my hands on his light sabre

pinetree dog wrote: Well-off people can spend a ton on their children too. But it's easier to be judgemental about how poorer people spend their money.

very well put!

agree

(My 'agree' was with the comment Bossykate was agreeing with)

Some of these posts do seem a bit 'pesky poor people spending tax payers' money..' etc. Also seems to be alot of psycobabble. We lived on a council estate (although not on benefits so does that make it ok?) My parents spent alot on us at christmas because they wanted to, they weren't guilt-tripped, or wanting to not seem poor etc. We loved it though and weren't spoilt/ungrateful brats.
I think it doesn't matter on the amount of money spent but more how the children behave. My niece has loads of money spent on her at christmas/birthdays but unfortunately rarely says thank you and if she doesn't like it she justs tosses it aside and says 'boring!'
This to me is terrible and would be whether it was a £1 or £100 present.

I think it was me you might be referring to with the guilt tripped? Becasue I also grew up in a council house with ridiculous present overkill! - don't assume!

I love the whole interpretation that this is 'pesky poor people', could it not equally be 'stingy rich people'?

or possibly even just 'spoilt bastards, in my day you'd be grateful for a piece of pre-chewed gum'

LOL Twig, you're turning into me Dad! 'In my day we got an orange and it was all the fruit we got all year'

(unlikely- they livefd neext to a cider farm and were forever scrumpying!)

The thread title says that in your opinion, poorer people spend more on their children at Christmas than wealthier people do
Then in your OP you refer to children receiving such largesse as "spoilt".
You then question why people should spend so much on their children, when you don't.
I think BK has summed it up really.

now I'm fairly sure, double checks, that I referred to them as 'spoilt bastard'

and the phrase inverse relationship naturally assumes it works both ways doesn't it?

typical mumsnet discussion though