Page 9 | To ask for your secrets you're taking to the grave

FizzyDibdab · 18/09/2021 08:58

Ooh now that's interesting. I saw the lost family programme on ITV where a woman who was left in a phone box discovered her siblings.

She first appeared on the programme a few yrs ago and a brother was found under similar circumstances. They were both abandoned 6 yrs apart in phone boxes on opposite sides of the Irish border.

The real twist came several yrs later when the programme found another similar case. After a DNA test, the man was confirmed to be their sibling and their parents were traced but had passed away. The parents had a long time affair but the dad was married and they were Catholic and Protestant respectively. During the troubles, this was a socially unacceptable relationship so they both abandoned their kids. Really sad story but with a happy ending.

LuckyAmy1986 · 18/09/2021 09:06

@3GreenPullups

That’s so sad! Poor you

mylovelydd · 18/09/2021 09:10

@FuckingFabulous

Lighthearted, and risk free. Given that this is all anonymous and all that.

When I was fourteen, I was out with my friend after drama club. It was winter and dark and fucking freezing but I was sweating as well as shivering. We were walking to her grandma's house in the next village where I was getting picked up by my stepdad in about an hour. I was quite clearly ill, but my mum had not believed me and sent me to a long day at school. As we were walking, my belly churned and I knew that there was gastric trouble afoot. I excused myself into an innocent looking field for "a wee" but I knew it was not that. Thankfully, there were no street lights at all, so even if someone had come past, they'd not have seen. It was pitch black. My friend kept watch while my bowels evacuated what seemed like water and slime for about five minutes and sweat dripped off my body onto the ground, I can remember how much I was shaking and how I had the weirdest taste of metal in my mouth. When the onslaught ended, I didn't know how to wipe my bum. I took off my school tie, wiped with that and then had no idea what to do so I just discarded it at the scene and shamefully scuttled back to my friend. I was then off school for a week with some kind of horrible intestinal infection.

But the field. The quiet little field I'd chosen to slip over the fence into. It was a graveyard. And I'd relieved myself right next to a war grave. Right before armistice. And left my school tie there. How do I know? Because it was in the school newsletter as a "regrettable incident" and anyone with information as to who the culprit was could report in confidence to the headteacher. I expect the groundskeeper reported it to the school. Even my mum tutted about no respect. Thank god it was over 20 years ago. Nowadays it would have trended with a hashtag and a witch hunt.

And now I have finally told the tale. What's yours?

@FuckingFabulous

I think you are my new favourite poster of all time! 😂

TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius · 18/09/2021 09:33

@Marcee

This happened just the other week.

The post came. One letter was our next door neighbours and had accidentally been delivered to us. Letter from the NHS. No matter I put it on the table to deliver it to them later.

Quick as a flash. My 3 year old grabbed the letter and opened it. It's a vaccine passport.

I'm really annoyed at her and now dont know what to do. I tear up the letter into tiny pieces and chuck it in the bin. Hope they ordered a new one.

Why not just sellotape it and put it back in a mail box? No-one would know it was you.

Chikapu · 18/09/2021 09:33

@noblegreenk

Just thought of another. In my first full time job age 17, the assistant manager was a complete bitch. She bullied me quite badly and used to humiliate me in front of the rest of the office. One day, she sent me to make her a cup of tea after she'd embarrassed me for the umpteenth time that week. I had a horrific head cold and cough, one of the worst ones I've ever had. So I hacked up a load of green phlegm, spat it in her tea and stirred it in really well. I also licked all around the rim of the mug. When I gave her the tea, she took a swig and said "oooh that's a good cuppa, at least you can do something right!" Any trace of guilt I felt immediately disappeared with that comment.

That's fucking disgusting and a criminal offence.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 18/09/2021 09:37

@marthasmum as a toddler i weed on the library floor and my dm was told to clear it up!

MrsLargeEmbodied · 18/09/2021 09:38

in fact my own toddler weed on the floor in tesco and a woman was very mean about it, but i just told someone who worked there

Onlyfoolsandhorseswork · 18/09/2021 09:42

@Suetully

*About a year later I heard he was flogging illegal tobacco under his market stall and was a low grade drug dealer I left it about 6 months so I knew word would get round (he had a big gob) and reported him to crimestoppers-by this time he was dealing in funny money too The police set up a sting and a long story short,he ended up with a 7 year stretch*

7 years for low grade drug dealing and flogging illegal tobacco?? Are you in Peru??

He was a very small cog in a much larger machine The judge made an example of him-I’m guessing there was much more to it-he wasn’t on the streets dealing,he was part of a much bigger gang He also had a record the length of his arm which can’t have helped his cause

Claudethecat · 18/09/2021 09:42

One night I rang her house pretending to be him and begged her for a date etc and utterly acted creepy and stalkerish ringing her home house. I even mentioned the text messages he had been sending and what they said and said I can't stop thinking of you etc

This one bothers me a bit. Acting "creepy and stalkerish" towards a young woman in order to get revenge on a mate is a bit off. But I guess you were very immature at the time suetully and don't use women in that way now!

Alcemeg · 18/09/2021 09:48

@ForeverQuery

When I was in primary school, my best friend wore glasses, so I pretended I struggled with my eyesight at school so my mum took me for an eye test, I forged the test, lo and behold I got some glasses so me and my best friend could be the same.

I couldn't see out of them though and pretended

Ah, as someone who had to wear glasses and hated it, that's absolutely brilliant! and reminds me of my best friend at primary school breaking her leg. I wanted mine in plaster too, so I kept hurling myself off fast-moving roundabouts etc, all to no avail.

catandcandle · 18/09/2021 09:51

I know this is a mostly lighthearted thread and mine is not lighthearted...but I have a secret I will take not to my grave but my parents' graves...that I know my real paternity is not what they told me. It would upset them beyond belief to know that I know and have known since I was 14 (I am now nearly 60).

OldWivesTale · 18/09/2021 09:59

When I was at uni studying English we had to do a creative writing class and some weeks our homework would be to write a poem. I absolutely hated this - my poems were like something a 10 year old would write at school. Anyway every Wednesday was a free day but I had to hand in my poem on Thursday. At the time I'd been casually dating somebody who came from a different (I thought obscure) country; he was harassing me to meet up with him but I said I couldn't as I had this fucking poem to write. He suggested I translate a song from his home country into English and pass it off as my poem. He told me what to write and although I thought it was a bit crap I just thought fuck it, that'll do. The following day we went round class and read out our poems and to my horror the whole class and the tutor (who was a well known poet) loved it. They were asking me lots of questions and the tutor said he wanted to publish it in the university magazine. So "my poem" got published! To add insult to injury the only thing I wrote was the title of the poem and he decided to leave it as an untitled poem 😆. This was all before the Internet obviously. But it turns out what I thought of as an "obscure" country actually isn't at all and I'm sure somebody must have read it and thought- I recognise this! I've still got the magazine to this day and my toes curl up when I see it on the bookshelf.

Dontevenstart · 18/09/2021 10:07

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MrsLargeEmbodied · 18/09/2021 10:14

i love that @OldWivesTale

me and a friend probably at her instigation, stole money out of a girl's coat pocket and skived school one afternoon, probably went to a local cafe. i have never forgotten.
my friend was a bit of a wrongun

Highfivemum · 18/09/2021 10:15

I have a few which will go to the grave with me and I can’t even write them ... the only one that is printable is my friend who had an abortion and made me swear not to tell her DH who was so desperate for a child. I was so upset as they were TTC for a year and she fell pregnant but changed her mind and refused to discuss it. I wish she hadn’t told me as they are are still together and are childless. He spoke to my DH a few years back and said sadly we just couldn’t fall pregnant and his DW didint want to go down the IVF route as she was too upset. He would have made a great dad and she denied him that. She took the pill after her abortion all behind his back. I don’t have much to do with her to be honest. Spiteful woman

Hawkins001 · 18/09/2021 10:22

I guess if, I had any x-file moments, that were to puzzle me , then I'd certainly take them to the grave anything I may see or come across that's very unique and unusual, is to assume that it's excellent to have the chance to be a part of the situation but then, afterwards , don't ask quotations.

Besides, afterwards it's not like it would be believed but even then you just never know when the agents appear.

Boombadoom · 18/09/2021 10:30

I was really hungry one day and someone had left out one of those nutrigrain bake bars. I loved those. So I took it and ate it.

Later on someone came looking for their snack. She was pregnant and I felt really guilty but I darent say a word. I even helped to look for it! I was only about 9 I think.

languagelover96 · 18/09/2021 10:31

Once I was in a GCSE math exam. I did not realise my mom was ringing me because of some family emergency and so my phone went off mid exam. Luckily no one else was in the room with me due to exam concessions.

Alcemeg · 18/09/2021 10:31

OldWivesTale's story has reminded me of a music class at school. We all had to compose a short piece of music, and I was astonished when the teacher picked mine out as particularly interesting. She played it on the piano, saying it was a very unusual composition, postmodern and original. I didn't recognise it at all -- I'd written the flat symbol in the wrong place on the stave. But I just lapped up the unexpected praise.

EspressoDoubleShot · 18/09/2021 10:43

I briefly dated well known musician who has a partying image
In fact he’s a sensitive soul who loves films, galleries & chilling out
Nothing like people think he’s like.

ImJustWaiting · 18/09/2021 10:49

I'd started a new job, and part of that a involved training/orientation at HQ, 2 days per month. It was a great way to get to know new hires at different locations, we'd all go for dinner, drinks on the last day of each stint in the city.

On my 3rd such trip I woke up late the next morning in hotel room, had missed the train home, I was partially undressed, missing underwear. I'd had a bit to drink, but nothing unusual, and last thing I could remember was waiting outside the ladies in hotel bar.

I was confused, feeling a bit sick, concerned about getting home. I did a quick pack up left and went to get the next train. On the journey back I was panicked. I don't know what if anything happened, I don't know how I got to my room, it "felt" like I'd had sex, but after checking there was no evidence IYSWIM.

I stayed there a few more months, and moved job as soon as I could. Looking back I might have reported it to police? to hotel? At least I should have went for STD tests. Never mentioned it to DH either.

BearSoFair · 18/09/2021 10:49

I did a silent but deadly fart in the front row at a gig, just as the lights dimmed. I really, really didn't think it was going to be bad! Maybe it was the excitement? A murmur of 'oh my God' 'what is THAT?' and the like rippled through the few rows behind while I thanked every God for the darkness and pretended to look around in disgust trying to find the culprit with everybody else! Those 20-odd seconds before the band came onstage felt like 20 minutes!

CherryHug · 18/09/2021 10:53

I had nits from the age of 19 till I was 21

Couldn't get rid of them, and my dp at the time's neice and nephew had them constantly as their parents werent treating them throughly enough and i kept catching them, and could not get rid of them. Ended up shaving my head and wearing wigs for a year odd. No one realised it wasn't my hair.

NextCountyNewYork · 18/09/2021 10:55

As a teen I used to fool around / experiment with my BF's twin brother, from around 14-17. We had nothing in common. We'd ask each to do or try different things, it was like a science experiment! I'm still very close with her, have not seen him since.

SoftParade · 18/09/2021 11:01

A few years ago, after some drinking, my BIL told me he was infatuated with me, and he went to kiss me. I told him don't be silly and that he is drunk.

The reality is that I'm very attracted to him, have always been. In many ways we're a much better match than our partners. It's my fantasy to shag him :(

Luckily we only see each other a few times a year. Life goes on...