To ask for your secrets you're taking to the grave

[FuckingFabulous]

Lighthearted, and risk free. Given that this is all anonymous and all that.

When I was fourteen, I was out with my friend after drama club. It was winter and dark and fucking freezing but I was sweating as well as shivering. We were walking to her grandma's house in the next village where I was getting picked up by my stepdad in about an hour. I was quite clearly ill, but my mum had not believed me and sent me to a long day at school. As we were walking, my belly churned and I knew that there was gastric trouble afoot. I excused myself into an innocent looking field for "a wee" but I knew it was not that. Thankfully, there were no street lights at all, so even if someone had come past, they'd not have seen. It was pitch black. My friend kept watch while my bowels evacuated what seemed like water and slime for about five minutes and sweat dripped off my body onto the ground, I can remember how much I was shaking and how I had the weirdest taste of metal in my mouth. When the onslaught ended, I didn't know how to wipe my bum. I took off my school tie, wiped with that and then had no idea what to do so I just discarded it at the scene and shamefully scuttled back to my friend. I was then off school for a week with some kind of horrible intestinal infection.

But the field. The quiet little field I'd chosen to slip over the fence into. It was a graveyard. And I'd relieved myself right next to a war grave. Right before armistice. And left my school tie there. How do I know? Because it was in the school newsletter as a "regrettable incident" and anyone with information as to who the culprit was could report in confidence to the headteacher. I expect the groundskeeper reported it to the school. Even my mum tutted about no respect. Thank god it was over 20 years ago. Nowadays it would have trended with a hashtag and a witch hunt.

And now I have finally told the tale. What's yours?

I married my abusive partner of many years. I did this partly because it was the only way I'd not have to start again with just the clothes on my back.
I asked for very little in the divorce agreement, much less than I should have and about a quarter of what I was entitled to. I could easily have taken him to the cleaners for a large sum but just wanted out with enough to start again asap!

Now I am out and feeling stronger I also plan to shop him for doing something that would cause him to lose his job. I've just been biding my time so he doesn't connect me with his getting into trouble.

I'm am not normally a calculating vindictive bitch but the bastard really really deserves it.

I accidentally walked in on my host and another guest cnogging at a party. I walked out before they noticed and bumped into my host's dh who was looking for her. I told him I saw her in the garden so he walked away.

Three months later we heard that they had split up and two years later she'd married the guest she was snogging at the party. I've never mentioned to anybody what I saw that day.

@Bigballer

I bribed the driving test examiner to pass me, in another country but it's converted to a full UK license. Never had a accident or ticket but I still can't parallel park almost 20 years later.

@Marcee

This happened just the other week.

The post came. One letter was our next door neighbours and had accidentally been delivered to us. Letter from the NHS. No matter I put it on the table to deliver it to them later.

Quick as a flash. My 3 year old grabbed the letter and opened it. It's a vaccine passport.

I'm really annoyed at her and now dont know what to do. I tear up the letter into tiny pieces and chuck it in the bin. Hope they ordered a new one.

Taking it to the grave?? Why didn't you just bring it round and tell them your child opened it?? My neighbours kid opened my actual passport...

@Mylittlepotofjoy

I stole snooker balls from the church youth club !!! I was weird . The pastor came to my parents house to get them back I was so embarrassed also on a Sunday morning I would sit outside my parents bedroom door when it was locked and listen to the noises wow yes I was odd but no longer steal balls or listen to people getting friendly

That's creepy weird.

I used to buy a permit to travel ticket for 5p to get home from work every day rather than pay the over £5 proper fare. This must have been watched on cctv as I was followed and stopped by the transport police as I left my local station. I was told I would get a caution on that occasion so when asked for my details gave the name, address and telephone number of a girl who bullied me at school. Since leaving school she had become a police officer. Seemed like fair justice to me.

I had an abusive husband. I made him shepherds pie and eked out the mince with lots of dead flies and woodlice. When I left him I put vicks vaporub in the top of his anusol tube and toothpaste.

A few years ago some friends of ours had a drunken argument at a meal with a few couples. One friend went to talk to woman and I went to talk to her partner to help calm things down / sort things out. After a long chat and hug with her partner he kissed me on the lips to my surprise. I was drunk and so was he and sometimes I question it, but I know really.

Not a biggy compared to some of these but I haven't said anything about it as there would be big fall out and complication. We still see them a lot and socialise with them and I feel awkward. But I figure nothing good will come of anyone knowing.

@Suetully

Said supervisor went to the fridge a few hours later and I watched from my desk as she went all red faced and teary to the manager's office

eh she, an adult, cried over somebody taking her cream egg? Like wtf? This has to be bullshit.

Not BS, completely true.

Got knocked over by a car and never told my parents! Was 10 and knew I would be in trouble as did not use the zebra crossing. Poor lady who hit me. I hobbled off refusing her help. She prob had nightmares for years.

Nat6999 😂your post really ticked me. Must have been fun.

Can people calm down about the covid passport one? It's as simple as a click of a button online to order one, and it comes in a few days. We have about 3 covid passports each, here. They're just a paper record of you vaccine, it's not like a real passport where you can only have one/it's a real hassle if you lose yours.

When I was in the cadets we often would go to an old abandoned fort for the weekend for fieldcraft practice. Anyway, the girls were sleeping in one room of the fort with a female instructor and the boys were in another room. I woke up in the night and was desperate for a poo. The only way to do a dump was in the woods about 200m away and then correctly dispose of it. I was really desperate (and lazy) so thought it was a good idea to curl one out in the fireplace in the next room and leave it there.

Anyway, in the morning we went off to cook our breakfast. When we came back, the instructor had a face like thunder as she’d found the offending shit. I was the most senior girl there (out of three) so acted all indignant and after a standoff, agreed to pick it up complaining that I ‘couldn’t believe who would do this’ I’m still not sure if anyone believe that it wasn’t me.

15 years later and I still feel ashamed and go a little hot when I think about it

@olidora63

I new the sex of my baby and didn’t tell husband!!

Ooh me too! I had a late scan at 38 weeks and distinctly saw a willy. I didn’t ask the sonographer for confirmation as I’m not a professional but it was pretty bloody obvious. I shouldn’t have looked at the screen tbh as I wanted a surprise. I Kept quiet though and put on a great show when he was born 😂

I used my dad’s special fork to feed the dogs, and his toothbrush to clean the hamster cage.

He was a bit of a bully around the house. Poor mum.

“
His diet was shot to shit but the sweeter his tea was the thirstier he seemed to be, i genuinely thought he'd notice how awful it must taste but nope, he must have gone through 6 cups in one 8 hour period for a good 18 months. His pallor was shocking.

I'm not an amateur btw, I didn't instantly go from 1 sugar to 3, it took time.”

If this is true , that’s a terrible thing to do to someone. Really shitty

@ThePlumVan

I used my dad’s special fork to feed the dogs, and his toothbrush to clean the hamster cage.

He was a bit of a bully around the house. Poor mum.

What was the special fork actually meant for? I once used my stepmothers 'special shower gel and special sponge' to clean the toilet, but that's not coming to the grave with me- I told her with relish about a fortnight later.

@fuzzymoomin

I had a manager who was really nasty to me, but always when no one was in earshot so she got away with it. One day I overheard her giving her password on the phone to our IT support person. That evening I worked late, logged into her computer and deleted some really important documents. She got into so much trouble for losing them and that still amuses me

IT would never ask for a password

Oh, and to the people who said it's a newspaper thread, I've been here for years and definitely do not work for any publication of any kind! It's just a good topic. If it turns up in any paper, everyone can rest assured at their lack of identifying information allowing them to still take their secrets to their IRL grave.

When i was about 12 i was invited to a sleepover at a friend's house. When we arrived the mother opened the door and sniffed 'We forgot you were coming'. Then she said 'Well, xx has yy over as well and they are at a pony club show so you will just have to tag along'.

I was pretty much ignored the whole weekend. My 'friend' spent all her time giggling with her other friend and when it came to the sleeping arrangements they slept in her room together and I was put in a spare bedroom that was absolutely covered with clothes and boxes and was just put on the floor in a sleeping bag. It was clear that my presence was a source of massive irritation to everyone.

So just before I left I stole a Ruby Ferguson pony book fro my friend;s bookshelf. I felt and still feel SO guilty. Never stole anything before or since.

Some of these posts are revenge type secrets rather than the usual stories of illegitimacy & affairs. Which is fine but it's always interesting to hear of the usual family secrets.

We found out recently that my dad's uncle had a secret 2nd family. He travelled for work so it was an easy thing to conceal, it only came out after he died.

I can well believe it's true about the Creme Egg/reported to manager incident. I've met some desperately childish people in the workplace.

@FizzyDibdab

Some of these posts are revenge type secrets rather than the usual stories of illegitimacy & affairs. Which is fine but it's always interesting to hear of the usual family secrets.

We found out recently that my dad's uncle had a secret 2nd family. He travelled for work so it was an easy thing to conceal, it only came out after he died.

Family secret things are interesting.

My great grandmother said she was an only child from London and her parents died when she was in her teens. Through dna websites, we've discovered she must have had at least two siblings and through ancestry, that her parents didn't die until she was in her fifties and that she was actually from Southampton. Whatever secrets she had, she definitely took them to the grave because we have no idea why she'd have said what she did. My mum said she was always really cagey about her past.

@WildImaginings
Yes, but as I mentioned I'm sure she knows that, hence why it's on a thread, about secrets being taken to the grave! So the numerous people that have commented, including you have unnecessarily made her/him feel even worse. There have been worse things mentioned than throwing someone's post away, and yet no other comments about anyone else's secret.

@Tigertigertigertiger It's true, be a bit odd to lie about it.

Oh and it's nowhere near the realm of shitty, I have done far far worse.