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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Refused to rehome a dog ...aibu to think it's a ridiculous decision?

316 replies

brettsndsal · 17/09/2021 10:52

We are a massive dog family.
Over the years we have had a lurcher,a border collie and a poodle all lived a happy long life.
They are part of the family and spoilt rotten.
Birthday ,Christmas presents,taken to the park daily and walks etc etc
We love them like a child basically.
Our last dog Lucy passed away aged 16 six weeks ago.
She was a rescue dog and had a bad start to life.
Anyway I've applied to rehome a dog through two rehoming places.
Both Declined us because we don't have a garden.

We have never had a Garden but that hasn't affected the dog in anyway.
We love opposite a huge park and 5 mins away from the beach.
They've refused to even do a home check because it's not suitable home for a dog.

We applied for a Jack Russell and another poodle.
Even if we had a garden I wouldn't let the dog out alone.

I'm really upset and I don't understand how a garden makes any difference.
They have lots of dogs in at the minute crying out for a new life.
We couldn't love them anymore if we tried

Aibu to think it's a bit shit?

OP posts:

SirChenjins · 17/09/2021 15:08

@LowlandLucky

Seems to me that these charities don't want to rehome many of the animals in their care. After all if they were empty they would have no purpose and no funding. This is why they import animals as we don't have enough homeless animals to justify all of these charities. The Charity sector is a huge employer and those degree's need to be used somewhere.

I think this is a very good point.

We’ve tried to rehome from our local Dogs Trust a few times snd each time we were told we couldn’t - we weren’t home enough (I worked p/t three days a week and had planned dog daycare or a dog Walker), we had kids (not toddlers and babies - children) and we didn’t have experience of dogs (in particular big dogs). We have a secure garden and live right next to woodland trails in a lovely area.

So basically they were looking for someone who doesn’t work, doesn’t have children and has owned dogs before - which excludes a huge number of people. I understand that some dogs require a certain time of environment - but not all of them. I remember they were getting two puppies and when I enquired they said no, they we’re going g to staff. Perks of the job I suppose.

BeeDavis · 17/09/2021 15:10

This is why it really pisses me off when people preach ‘adopt, don’t shop’ like its that simple to just rehome a dog!!

FangsForTheMemory · 17/09/2021 15:13

I was refused a cat from a famous cat and dog home, no reason given, in spite of having had my previous cats (who lived to be 14 and 17 respectively) from them. At that time you just walked through and took your pick.

I honestly think some rescue centres are more interested in their own image than in rehoming the animals they have.

NutellaEllaElla · 17/09/2021 15:13

I was ghosted after a home visit to re-home two cats because the ones i was interested in looked too similar to my dearly departed cat, so it was like I was trying to replace her with them.....

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 17/09/2021 15:18

Fostering is a great suggestion. A friend fosters cats and dogs for the RSPCA and although she has a small garden I don’t think it matters as the animals aren’t actually allowed outdoors! I think it’s because they’re often part of ongoing court cases and they can’t risk them running off or the previous owners coming to find them. It’s a really valuable thing to do and she’s always given the option of adopting at the end or allowing the animal to go to someone else. Thankfully none have been returned to original owners!

Cryalot2 · 17/09/2021 15:20

I find this so sad.
So many dogs are being put to sleep because the charities have got tick box crazy. Yet when they do rehome dogs no checks are made. I know of several ones that rehome regularly and they lie to the charites. In one case the dogs are never taken to a vet or vaccinated even when they tire clearly need such. There are other ones who return dogs when they tire of them and rather than be honest they say the dog has a problem.
This is why I feel the charities need a good overhaul.
As for those who whine on and on about how you should only adopt, they need to realise that charities are making it impossible.
I hope you get your new pet soon.

ThatsNotMyPinkUnicorn · 17/09/2021 15:21

@Anordinarymum

All those cute puppies we have seen during lockdown.. all those inappropriate looking families with a new puppy..

Wait for one of those. The rescue centres will be inundated soon. This is what I am doing.. waiting to rescue one of them.

I’m not sure that’s true, though. I don’t think as many of the families are giving up on their pet as has been claimed on here and even if they do, it doesn’t mean the rescue centres will relax their rules.

Roselilly36 · 17/09/2021 15:27

I agree, my lovely neighbours went after a few rescue dog and were knocked back, as they had visiting grandchildren, so they brought a puppy as it was the only way they could get a dog.

Topseyt · 17/09/2021 15:37

I have always found this sort of thing so ridiculous.

I have had dogs for the last 17 years. A labrador who I had from when he was an 8 week old puppy until he died at the grand old age of 15 (in November 2019 - I miss him soooo much) and an increasingly creaky cocker spaniel who is still with us at the age of 16.

In the next couple of years (I believe) I will be hoping to adopt a dog from a rescue centre. I don't want to do it while we still have our spaniel because as she has aged and adapted to life without our labrador she now just seems to old and lacking in confidence to cope with us bringing another dog in at the moment.

We will be a single dog household, with me at home all of the time, and all "children" are now adults. We have a secure garden and lots of lovely walks just on our doorstep. I do hope that our local rescues will use common sense and discretion. I would so much like to offer a home to a dog who has fallen on hard times.

Why are some rescues so far up their own arses that they seem to prefer keeping dogs languishing in kennels than in good homes? I don't get it.

WitchBaby · 17/09/2021 15:40

@NutellaEllaElla

I was ghosted after a home visit to re-home two cats because the ones i was interested in looked too similar to my dearly departed cat, so it was like I was trying to replace her with them.....

Even if you were, I doubt the cats would pick up on it and become emotionally damaged

SirChenjins · 17/09/2021 15:43

Why are some rescues so far up their own arses that they seem to prefer keeping dogs languishing in kennels than in good homes? I don't get it

I think @LowlandLucky’s point is correct - it’s not in their interest to rehome as many animals as possible from a funding and employment point of view. Plus for many people working and volunteering there they must get very attached to ‘their’ animals and probably think no-one will be as good an owner as they are.

NutellaEllaElla · 17/09/2021 15:45

I know, it did make me laugh. What an excuse!

Seeleyboo · 17/09/2021 15:51

Boils my blood. I have been turned down due to the rescue dogs needing to stay together but must be the only animals in the house....i have 2 chihuahuas. Turned down for having young children. Turned down for not living in the area the dog is located. Turned down for working 4 hours a day. Turned down as only 1 adult household is needed. And many more. Like others have said. It pushes people to buy puppies. So sad as any pooch would be very spoilt here. Mine even have their own lounge.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 17/09/2021 15:54

I know someone who applied to a Romanian rescue place. She’d had two previous ones from there and her last one died of great old age. No kids. Big garden, rural. Someone always home. Excellent references.They point blank refused and wouldn’t say why.

Cheeseplantboots · 17/09/2021 15:55

We had a nightmare trying to rescue a dog. We never even got a call back. After 6 weeks of trying we bought a puppy. The rules are ridiculous. My friend was tried to rescue a retired greyhound. Mine spent weeks visiting him at the blue cross. Then they did a home visit and saw a cat in a nearby garden and turned her down. There are cats everywhere and she has done lots of research into the breed. Moshe was devastated.

eightlivesdown · 17/09/2021 16:02

Very shortsighted, they're looking for perfection but in real life you often have to compromise. The dog will benefit from being in a loving home and the family will benefit by having the dog, win-win.

The experiences of people being rejected from housing cats are even dafter.

Some shelters are unable to see the big picture. They are so caught up in "protecting" the animal and looking for potential problems (which may not materialise), they are rejecting (very) good candidates because they aren't perfect.

mrsbeeton999 · 17/09/2021 16:05

We were turned down for a cat as we lived about 100m away from a tiny branch train line with one train an hour which go slower than cars. Our cat would have to cross 6 fences and the high railway fence to get near it. Luckily we found another rescue who were thrilled at our lovely house and safe garden. Keep trying

alloalloallo · 17/09/2021 16:08

@SirChenjins

Why are some rescues so far up their own arses that they seem to prefer keeping dogs languishing in kennels than in good homes? I don't get it

I think @LowlandLucky’s point is correct - it’s not in their interest to rehome as many animals as possible from a funding and employment point of view. Plus for many people working and volunteering there they must get very attached to ‘their’ animals and probably think no-one will be as good an owner as they are.

I got that impression when we tried to adopt a few years ago, from several charities (including the smaller, local ones)

I understand they have to have a criteria for adoption but there needs to be a bit of common sense applied. We were turned down point blank because we work full time (despite the fact that DH runs his own business in a rural area with and has always taken our dogs to work with him) but did we want to sign up for regular monthly donation, or sponsor one of the dogs, fund raise for them, etc, etc.

I know someone who runs a local dog charity - she’s very judgemental about how people look after their dogs and animals - nothing is ever good enough, no one ever does anything right, constantly criticising and accusing people of abuse for the silliest things, she has a shelter full of dogs that she’s constantly fund raising for to feed, take to the vets, but turns prospective adopters down for the most ridiculous reasons

Mythologies · 17/09/2021 16:12

Completely ridiculous
One would think NOT having a garden would be a plus as dog would get lots of walks.
I got turned down even though I had a big secure garden because my road was too busy and I worked 3 half days …too far away (so no work or work locally)
If you read the list - all rescue places seem to say no children - even visiting, no other pets, and someone home 24/7.
I speak as a dog owner of 30+ years whose dogs lived to 17 - baffles me

icedcoffees · 17/09/2021 16:13

YANBU OP - it's bonkers.

We have three cats and a dog - two cats were farm kittens, one a private rehome, and the dog we got from a breeder.

We couldn't rescue a dog as we both worked full-time - ignoring the fact that someone was home all day for four days per week, and that the dog would spend ALL day on the other three days at my-inlaws where he/she would get spoilt rotten

Our dog is now almost four and he has a fantastic life. He comes to work with me most days, spends the rest of the time being spoilt by his "grandparents", gets excellent walks all over the place and is generally very happy.

We also couldn't rescue cats as we live on a main road - we now have three happy indoor cats who couldn't give a flying fuck about going outside, lol.

People wonder why breeders/puppy farms thrive - it's almost impossible to rescue a dog if you work, have children under ten, have cats or live somewhere without acres of land or haven't had a dog before.

How they expect people to get experience of dog ownership if they're never allowed to rescue or foster?

KarmaStar · 17/09/2021 16:13

Try dogsblog up or the biggiesleague

Mythologies · 17/09/2021 16:14

Who now has the most lovely rescue- so keep trying

SageFuzz · 17/09/2021 16:15

International rescues are usually more realistic and flexible. We have had 4 dogs from 'healing paws' based on zakynthos. They bring a van load of dogs over every couple of weeks or so... Follow them on fb see if any pups catch your eye

BrightYellowDaffodil · 17/09/2021 16:15

This makes me so sad or cross.

Reading comments about people not wanting "their cats" to go to a different town, or dogs only going to "perfect on paper" homes even though the reality is just as good (if not better for the actual dog) makes me think that the people at these rescue centres are more interested in making themselves feel good for their "white knight" selflessness and less about the actual animals.

colinthecaterpillars · 17/09/2021 16:19

I was also similar lost my girl in February and warned another rescue I got turned down for a dog because I don't have a car
.I've not driven in 7 year's me getting my dog to the vets has never been any issue.spent 2k on having a new garden for a dog to.run around in and us to enjoy and years of experience with dogs but the real problem was transport

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