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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refused to rehome a dog ...aibu to think it's a ridiculous decision?

316 replies

brettsndsal · 17/09/2021 10:52

We are a massive dog family.
Over the years we have had a lurcher,a border collie and a poodle all lived a happy long life.
They are part of the family and spoilt rotten.
Birthday ,Christmas presents,taken to the park daily and walks etc etc
We love them like a child basically.
Our last dog Lucy passed away aged 16 six weeks ago.
She was a rescue dog and had a bad start to life.
Anyway I've applied to rehome a dog through two rehoming places.
Both Declined us because we don't have a garden.

We have never had a Garden but that hasn't affected the dog in anyway.
We love opposite a huge park and 5 mins away from the beach.
They've refused to even do a home check because it's not suitable home for a dog.

We applied for a Jack Russell and another poodle.
Even if we had a garden I wouldn't let the dog out alone.

I'm really upset and I don't understand how a garden makes any difference.
They have lots of dogs in at the minute crying out for a new life.
We couldn't love them anymore if we tried

Aibu to think it's a bit shit?

OP posts:
sqirrelfriends · 17/09/2021 14:14

I was refused a cat, I don't know why exactly but the reason they gave was that I wouldn't be home enough for any of the ones they had. (DH worked from home on Mondays and Fridays so they're wouldn't be anyone in during the day 3 days a week.)

I had to fill in a massive form and have an interview to get to this stage. They also asked if I was likely to have children.

They did contact me a few months later, asking if me to take an older house cat with FIV. By that point I had rehomed one privately.

LowlandLucky · 17/09/2021 14:17

Seems to me that these charities don't want to rehome many of the animals in their care. After all if they were empty they would have no purpose and no funding. This is why they import animals as we don't have enough homeless animals to justify all of these charities. The Charity sector is a huge employer and those degree's need to be used somewhere.

Footballfam · 17/09/2021 14:19

Please try www.oldies.org.uk/

So many loving dogs need fosters and forever homes

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/09/2021 14:21

They would not let me adopt one because I was not an “experienced cat owner” as I didn’t have cats growing up.

I was turned down for a rescue cat because apparently I "would expect it to be like the cats I'd had before, and they are all different".

I mean - wtf?

I had had three cats (together). Two were 18 when I lost them - the third was 23. And I missed them so contacted the rescue which was supposedly bursting at the seams with cats and kittens - they claimed t be desperate. I was hoping for 2/3 kittens but would have taken bonded adult cats. But I would have been" expecting too much from them".

I ended up with two boys from the same litter - they are indeed very different to my three girls - they are absolute bastards! However, I still love them.

UnsolicitedDickPic · 17/09/2021 14:22

We've been turned down for similar reasons. 3 year old DD and a garden without a fence. I do understand to an extent (one shelter I was following on social media re-homed a dog only for it to be run over a few weeks later after it escaped the house) but also agree that some of the criteria seems spurious at best. We are a fairly outdoorsy family who live in a rural area, and could provide a really lovely home. Alas, we probably won't try again.

Throwntothewolves · 17/09/2021 14:22

Polkadotties see that's just ridiculous, discriminatory and so rude!

3GreenPullups · 17/09/2021 14:23

some years ago we were denied having a rescue cat for 2 reasons- 1 because we lived near a road (like the majority of the UK population) and 2 we had dogs.

The dogs in question have always lived with cats.

We then got a kitten from the RSPCA. Within an hour we had a photo of a gently snoring kitten on our bed along with the 3 dogs.

QueenPeary · 17/09/2021 14:23

It took us a while of going back to the shelter, phoning to check, reapplying etc to get a kitten. I wondered if they make you jump through hoops by seeing if you're serious enough to keep trying, IYSWIM.

KhunFarang · 17/09/2021 14:28

My goodness. Animals are very spoilt in the UK. Where I live, there are so many street cats and dogs, it's heartbreaking.
Could you adopt from abroad? I know it's frowned upon but there are good and responsible organizations

Wetcappuccino · 17/09/2021 14:28

We rehomed a 1 year old dog from the Dogs Trust when we lived in a city centre apartment with no garden. It was never raised as an issue.

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 17/09/2021 14:29

I applied for several rescues also, rejected by all of the bigger ones as we don't have a private fenced garden. There were smaller rescues I rang around who were willing to be more flexible. We ended up using A1 dog rescue in Chelmsford. They were fab. Our dog was from abroad, but they had lots of UK ones also- I just saw him and he was such a scared timid little thing I couldn't not take him. He's gorgeous and happy here, he's either at field daycare which he loves, or we take him for 5 walks/runs a day.

I understand why they have to be strict to ensure a good home with limited resources, but I do think it's gone too far the other way. You sound like you'd provide an amazing home

daisyjgrey · 17/09/2021 14:31

Rehoming a dog means you have to jump through so many hoops and so many people who would provide brilliant homes are turned down and then people get shirty about buying puppies from breeders.

If it wasn't so bloody difficult to adopt a rescue, more people would do it and fewer would buy from breeders.

1FootInTheRave · 17/09/2021 14:35

We had similar issues when looking for ddog2 2 years ago.

Not considered as we both work. No individualised thinking nor consideration given to the fact I worked shifts and we had already secured a place with a local doggy day care. Also that we have ddog1 who has a charmed life indeed. We could have provided references and a suitable home check too.

We ended up buying ddog2 as a puppy from a mutual friend. I still feel guilty about this as she has a lovely life, as would any rescue dog we could've rehomed.

Branleuse · 17/09/2021 14:38

@KhunFarang

My goodness. Animals are very spoilt in the UK. Where I live, there are so many street cats and dogs, it's heartbreaking. Could you adopt from abroad? I know it's frowned upon but there are good and responsible organizations
i wouldnt say its frowned upon in general or in real life, but there are certainly some people on the internet who have an opinion on it. In real life most people dont care where you got your dog or are just glad you rescued
KhunFarang · 17/09/2021 14:42

@Branleuse

We volunteer with this organization www.soidog.org/content/adopting-overseas

They carefully test and assess all the dogs(but obviously, returning a failed rehoming would be hard!)

ArnoldtheAngryTapir · 17/09/2021 14:45

A few years ago after the loss of our dearly departed cat I was looking around the local rescues for a new candidate to fill the post of family mog.

I had no luck in our local town as they were either all reserved or not suitable to live with children so I called another branch of the same rescue (FYI very large countrywide cat rescue...) which was about 10 miles away.

I explained on the phone I was after (probably) an adult cat but didn't mind really age/gender/breed as the most important thing was that it was friendly and good with children.

The woman on the phone became almost hysterical telling me I couldn't have any of 'her cats' and that I should only be looking in my own town.

I was pretty shocked - she made me feel like some sort of cat-pervert !!!

whataboutbob · 17/09/2021 14:47

My brother would like to adopt a cat. He has a house with a garden and works part time. He is an experienced cat owner but is in the autistic spectrum and finds the interview process very stressful and intrusive and can’t face going through with it even with my support. He’d be a very good and attentive owner.

Indoctro · 17/09/2021 14:48

Try a Staffordshire bull terrier rescue I used to volunteer for one and they would happily rehome to flats etc as some many dogs come in they literally can't be fussy and just need these dogs to find a nice home.

Kiki275 · 17/09/2021 14:49

We wanted to rehome a border collie (perhaps a failed sheepdog) but couldn't because we didn't have a fenced off garden. A hundred acres of pasture but no garden (amongst dozens of other questions that were appropriate for most homes but not working farms).x

Branleuse · 17/09/2021 14:52

[quote KhunFarang]@Branleuse

We volunteer with this organization www.soidog.org/content/adopting-overseas

They carefully test and assess all the dogs(but obviously, returning a failed rehoming would be hard!)[/quote]
Thats lovely. I used AA dog rescue for my dog and have nothing but praise for them and the follow up care ive had

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 17/09/2021 14:54

Huge apologies I used AA Dog Rescue too, not A1 - that was a typo.

SoloISland · 17/09/2021 14:55

@HeAteItWithASpoon

I am desperate for a dog. I have a large, walled garden and my job is working on my small holding so my dog would be with me at all times, getting loads of exercise and fresh air. I’ve phoned every charity within a couple of hours drive and no one will even consider me or do a home visit because I have a 9yo and a 5yo.

I’d never adopt from abroad, I think that’s even worse than buying a puppy but it’s infuriating that these dogs are left alone in cages all day when people want to give them homes.

Not even from Ireland? Greyhounds are in great need here . Not all meet racing standards and they they get too old.
Branleuse · 17/09/2021 14:55

@ArnoldtheAngryTapir

A few years ago after the loss of our dearly departed cat I was looking around the local rescues for a new candidate to fill the post of family mog.

I had no luck in our local town as they were either all reserved or not suitable to live with children so I called another branch of the same rescue (FYI very large countrywide cat rescue...) which was about 10 miles away.

I explained on the phone I was after (probably) an adult cat but didn't mind really age/gender/breed as the most important thing was that it was friendly and good with children.

The woman on the phone became almost hysterical telling me I couldn't have any of 'her cats' and that I should only be looking in my own town.

I was pretty shocked - she made me feel like some sort of cat-pervert !!!

please try not to let it put you off. In my experience a lot of the people that devote their lives to animal rescue are a bit bonkers and are better with animals than they are with people (to say the least) Ive had some odd experiences with some rescues over the years too. Its still worth adopting
WitchBaby · 17/09/2021 14:59

@Ellarain

This makes me so angry. No wonder people buy puppies. We were declined a few years ago. I had raised a lot of money for a small dog rescue as they were on the radio talking about how they couldn't afford to feed the dogs for much longer. I organised a fundraiser in my job and made a lot of money as well as getting food donated. Made an appointment to hand over cheque, food etc. Owner seemed happy enough and offered us a look around. We immediately fell in love with a Rottweiler called Ruby who had just turned 1. Owner moved abroad so she was sent to the rescue. I asked owner about adopting her as I grew up with Rottweilers. At the time, it was just myself and DH, no children. We had a large home and huge back garden, lived beside a forest walk and beach. She turned us down on the spot, the reason was she didn't want to send the dog to Dublin, Ireland (where we live) but wanted to keep her in Kildare Ireland (where the rescue centre is) The two are literally a 30 minute drive from each other. The poor dog was in a little cage. No home check or nothing, she just decided on the spot. I was disgusted. I heard through the grapevine that the poor dog was still not rehomed a year later. Totally turned me of ever fundraising or rescuing again.

That's so sad, poor thing. What the hell is their reasoning with nonsense like this?

Hugoslavia · 17/09/2021 15:03

I once applied to adopt a rescue rabbit. I had a little group of four house bunnies, which lived a truly wonderful life and had access to a safe enclosed walled garden. It was fox safe because there was no way up to the walls and they were in excess of 4 m high (our garden was raised with large drops to the ground to street level. The woman obviously disliked me for whatever reason as there was no way that she wanted me to have this rabbit. She wanted to know exactly why I wanted a long haired rabbit. When I then explained my set up she started screaming at me down the phone that I was irresponsible to allow my rabbits to roam the enclosed walled garden during the day because, "What about predatory owls???!!!" She just kept shrieking that. She was horrified when I said that my rabbits slept in a small wooden box bed at night, screeching out how inadequate it was and how much space they needed each. This was despite me explaining that they weren't caged in. They chose to all crawl into a small space and sleep on top of each other at night for comfort and a feeling of security. Just as they would in a burrow. They could not have had a more charmed life, but she would rather this bunny live in a hutch alone at the bottom of her garden in the middle of the freezing winter. She just kept yelling about how this rabbit had had a rough life and deserved better than me. She was so bloody bonkers.