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AIBU?

Refused to rehome a dog ...aibu to think it's a ridiculous decision?

316 replies

brettsndsal · 17/09/2021 10:52

We are a massive dog family.
Over the years we have had a lurcher,a border collie and a poodle all lived a happy long life.
They are part of the family and spoilt rotten.
Birthday ,Christmas presents,taken to the park daily and walks etc etc
We love them like a child basically.
Our last dog Lucy passed away aged 16 six weeks ago.
She was a rescue dog and had a bad start to life.
Anyway I've applied to rehome a dog through two rehoming places.
Both Declined us because we don't have a garden.

We have never had a Garden but that hasn't affected the dog in anyway.
We love opposite a huge park and 5 mins away from the beach.
They've refused to even do a home check because it's not suitable home for a dog.

We applied for a Jack Russell and another poodle.
Even if we had a garden I wouldn't let the dog out alone.

I'm really upset and I don't understand how a garden makes any difference.
They have lots of dogs in at the minute crying out for a new life.
We couldn't love them anymore if we tried

Aibu to think it's a bit shit?

OP posts:
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LiamGallagherIsHot · 17/09/2021 22:52

It’s not though is it. A dog in a home has much more attention and love even if left with others walking and popping in for 6hours in A week day than those living in kennels.

As we see on here, many people leave their dog for 6 hours or more with no one popping in. I’ve dealt with dogs that have been left at home, sometimes in crates, sometimes in a garden for 18 hours a day.

It’s simple a kennel system is worse for dogs than actually even a bad home where no walks are given because they at least get human interaction much much more than a kennel dog.

I have never worked with a rescue where dogs get no human interaction. This is just lies.

You can say your rescue is different blah blah blah but the fact is most rescues closes doors at a set time for all staff and don’t open up again till a set time. These dogs are on show to many randoms walking by looking for maybe a dog. They are living side by side dogs that may have issues never getting quiet from the barking. Living in a kennels full time is neglect in Its self under the false thing of being rescue and many end up put to sleep anyway.


You think when the door closes, the work stops? It doesn’t. At every rescue I’ve worked at there are staff present overnight, volunteers are also certainly there til 10pm settling dogs to bed, we give a bedtime biscuit and cuddles. During the day the dogs are taken out regularly by staff, in groups for exercise and interaction with humans, others are taken out alone or with one other dog if they need to build confidence for example. They are NEVER left alone for anywhere near 6 hours without interaction. I’ve also never worked at a rescue that puts healthy dogs to sleep. The vets bills are eye watering and we do more than many owners would to give sick dogs a chance. The barking and living next to other dogs isn’t ideal for many, but it’s a temporary thing until they find their home, which we endure is better then just ‘good enough’.

I’m very suspicious of people who are trying to turn people against rescues. There are certainly people who are keen to do this, even more so since Lucy’s Law. There’s money to be made afterall if we can convince people that puppies are the way to go. This law has improved the situation but there are still many ‘breeders’ who don’t have a clue and see breeding dogs as a way to make easy money. Fuck the dogs they’re using for that. In lockdown, we’ve seen dogs that would have been classed as too old usually to breed, being pushed to get another litter or two from them. The effects are devastating.

I’m going to leave it there. Please educate yourselves instead of spreading lies. There are people doing that with an agenda, if you’re not one of those, you are certainly, unknowingly helping them.

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LiamGallagherIsHot · 17/09/2021 22:55

POSTED AGAIN DUE TO BOLD FAIL

It’s not though is it. A dog in a home has much more attention and love even if left with others walking and popping in for 6hours in A week day than those living in kennels.

As we see on here, many people leave their dog for 6 hours or more with no one popping in. I’ve dealt with dogs that have been left at home, sometimes in crates, sometimes in a garden for 18 hours a day.

It’s simple a kennel system is worse for dogs than actually even a bad home where no walks are given because they at least get human interaction much much more than a kennel dog.

I have never worked with a rescue where dogs get no human interaction. This is just lies.

You can say your rescue is different blah blah blah but the fact is most rescues closes doors at a set time for all staff and don’t open up again till a set time. These dogs are on show to many randoms walking by looking for maybe a dog. They are living side by side dogs that may have issues never getting quiet from the barking. Living in a kennels full time is neglect in Its self under the false thing of being rescue and many end up put to sleep anyway.

You think when the door closes, the work stops? It doesn’t. At every rescue I’ve worked at there are staff present overnight, volunteers are also certainly there til 10pm settling dogs to bed, we give a bedtime biscuit and cuddles. During the day the dogs are taken out regularly by staff, in groups for exercise and interaction with humans, others are taken out alone or with one other dog if they need to build confidence for example. They are NEVER left alone for anywhere near 6 hours without interaction. I’ve also never worked at a rescue that puts healthy dogs to sleep. The vets bills are eye watering and we do more than many owners would to give sick dogs a chance. The barking and living next to other dogs isn’t ideal for many, but it’s a temporary thing until they find their home, which we ensure is better then just ‘good enough’.

I’m very suspicious of people who are trying to turn people against rescues. There are certainly people who are keen to do this, even more so since Lucy’s Law. There’s money to be made afterall if we can convince people that puppies are the way to go. This law has improved the situation but there are still many ‘breeders’ who don’t have a clue and see breeding dogs as a way to make easy money. Fuck the dogs they’re using for that. In lockdown, we’ve seen dogs that would have been classed as too old usually to breed, being pushed to get another litter or two from them. The effects are devastating.

I’m going to leave it there. Please educate yourselves instead of spreading lies. There are people doing that with an agenda, if you’re not one of those, you are certainly, unknowingly helping them.

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BrightYellowDaffodil · 17/09/2021 23:03

@LiamGallagherIsHot

Please educate yourselves instead of spreading lies. There are people doing that with an agenda, if you’re not one of those, you are certainly, unknowingly helping them.

ODFOD. If your only response to genuine and reasoned criticism through first hand experience is “You’re part of the problem” dusted with a bit of “We volunteers are the ones who’s really care, you know” then the one who can’t see the harm they’re doing is you. If you cared about those animals, you’d let them find a home where they didn’t need volunteers to look after them. Or do you just like to be a self-appointed animal saviour?

“You need to educate yourself” is so often synonymous with “Stop saying things I don’t like!”

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Branleuse · 17/09/2021 23:07

@LiamGallagherIsHot
I get what youre saying, and despite the difficulties I still wouldnt buy a puppy and would always rescue, and so would plenty of others who still moan about how many hoops to jump through. Fact is though, the strict rules that many rescues have, whilst gets some great homes for some, misses out many great or perfectly ok homes for many more. Its got to be a case of either the rescues are too strict, or maybe the dogs have too many behavioural issues which means they need very specific homes?
As ive said before, its why i adopted from Spain rather than get a non-rescue dog.

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SirChenjins · 17/09/2021 23:07

There’s money to be made afterall if we can convince people that puppies are the way to go

The only ‘convincing’ is on the part of the rescue centres - by making it incredibly difficult to rehome an animal by setting criteria that excludes huge numbers of the public they are effectively pushing people to buy puppies.

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MyPatronusIsACat · 17/09/2021 23:09

@LiamGallagherIsHot

You lost the argument, and any credibility, by saying 'educate yourself.'

One of the most patronising and naff and laughable phrases that is uttered on Mumsnet.

All of the people on this thread talking about how ludicrous and stupid the rules are in many animal shelters, and about all the issues they have had trying to adopt a rescue dog or cat, cannot possibly be wrong.

Many of the rules are pathetic, and many MANY dogs and cats are losing out on loving homes because of it. How depressing - and worrying - that you are OK with that. Confused

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Horst · 17/09/2021 23:12

So dogs are not left in kennels from even midnight to 6am no. That’s six hours alone with nobody near by.

Yes they get brief walks and rest bite from being locked in kennels but nothing compared to being in an actual home.

Again you mention dogs locks in crates but that’s the worst not really norm your judging all homes by the worst but expect us to not judge rescue by the worst.

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LiamGallagherIsHot · 17/09/2021 23:13

BrightYellowDaffodil

I have 15 years experience In various aspects of dog rescue. I work with people that own, work and volunteer in rescues. I’ve not said others don’t care, but they do not know the complexities of it, they haven’t seen the things we’ve seen and this thread shows they have little knowledge of why rescues work as they do. When I started doing it, I was naive and thought like others, let the dog’s go to any home that’s better than what they’ve been in to stop them having to spend time in a rescue. I’ve gained a lot of knowledge and experience since then.
Not sure there’s any need to be telling people to fuck off... that is what is so often synonymous with ‘stop saying things I don’t like’ in my experience.

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TakeMe2Insanity · 17/09/2021 23:13

@brettsndsal

We are a massive dog family.
Over the years we have had a lurcher,a border collie and a poodle all lived a happy long life.
They are part of the family and spoilt rotten.
Birthday ,Christmas presents,taken to the park daily and walks etc etc
We love them like a child basically.
Our last dog Lucy passed away aged 16 six weeks ago.
She was a rescue dog and had a bad start to life.
Anyway I've applied to rehome a dog through two rehoming places.
Both Declined us because we don't have a garden.

We have never had a Garden but that hasn't affected the dog in anyway.
We love opposite a huge park and 5 mins away from the beach.
They've refused to even do a home check because it's not suitable home for a dog.

We applied for a Jack Russell and another poodle.
Even if we had a garden I wouldn't let the dog out alone.

I'm really upset and I don't understand how a garden makes any difference.
They have lots of dogs in at the minute crying out for a new life.
We couldn't love them anymore if we tried

Aibu to think it's a bit shit?

OP go on to nextdoor in a London zone 3 area, and there are lots of dogs looking for new homes. Not ideal but it is rescuing them and these people are practically giving them away which is ridiculous. Good luck.
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Ijsbear · 17/09/2021 23:24

As we see on here, many people leave their dog for 6 hours or more with no one popping in. I’ve dealt with dogs that have been left at home, sometimes in crates, sometimes in a garden for 18 hours a day

But there are a lot of people posting here who certainly ring true. I've seen much much more cruelty than I want to by the way, though it involved children not animals, and I'm not naive.

There seems to be a real problem and by being overcareful, rescues seem to be denying both animals finding a home and humans a pet that they want.

I’m very suspicious of people who are trying to turn people against rescues. ... There are people doing that with an agenda, if you’re not one of those, you are certainly, unknowingly helping them.

You're rather missing the point that if people go to the rescue shelters and get turned away, they're going to go for a puppy anyway. Lies are irrelevant. It's experience that counts.

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PinniGig · 17/09/2021 23:26

I understand and agree with you it's utter nonsense and bollocks how many places work on a default criteria being to work through a checklist and throw out any areas not met without going further.

Firstly I have worked with a breed specific rescue (border collies) which operates probably the most robust, thorough and complex process for re-homing which is often a source of frustration to some people however, those that take real exception to it typically expect to call up, get a dog and the rescue ought to be grateful for someone willing to take a dog off their hands.

The main criteria and biggest “rules” include not re homing dogs under 1 year old to ensure they have chance to be properly assessed for herding / working instinct, no homes where the dog will be routinely left for any length of time, no children under 12yrs and without securely fenced yards or gardens. They will however allow some leeway and play based on individual assessment of each person, every application and if someone doesn't have a yard or garden but fits the bill in other areas, they are willing to at least give more time and thought / follow up and find out more.

For example children under 12yrs is sometimes considered but only in exceptional circumstances i.e. it's a family owned and run farm. The overwhelming majority of dogs that are given up to them for re-homing have come from a family home where they had been bought as puppies intended to be a family pet and owners found themselves unable to cope with what often becomes a fully grown sheepdog in their home.

The breed is also one of the worst offenders in terms of nipping / biting young children typically due to herding instinct that need to be properly channelled and the dog live in a more suitable environment where they can be put to work.

That might mean an ideal home is found for a dog where they also have children under 12yrs so it's a case of assessing and considering everyone on merit.

The focus and rigidity of some centres almost allows people to re-home a dog, stick it outside a few times a day to sniff around and pee then bring it back in and consider that a suitable enough form of outdoor exercise. Someone looking for a dog that doesn't have a yard or garden like yourself can very often be the more suitable and if they have prior experience owning dogs, can provide details and satisfy staff they have more than adequate arrangements that's even better.

There shouldn't be any reason why someone is written out by default.

I live on a private road and our property opens up onto a dirt farm track leading across fields and down to the river. If we were to apply for rehoming a dog via some of the larger places, they wouldn't accept us or consider us point black because we don't have an actual yard or secure gated area. That we have a lifetime's experience owning dogs, train and work with a rescue centre to foster and help with rehabilitation prior to rehoming and three acres of land we rent is irrelevant. We don't have an actual gate so that makes us unsuitable.

No advice or anything to offer sadly but just to say don't let it totally dishearten you.

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Byheckythump · 17/09/2021 23:28

I was just looking at a dog on a local rescue centre website. They are accepting applications by online form only. This consists of pages of rules and requirements, with questions requesting essay style answers. You pretty much need to complete a thesis on dog ownership and if deemed acceptable for consideration, they will contact you.

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MyPatronusIsACat · 17/09/2021 23:37

@Byheckythump

I was just looking at a dog on a local rescue centre website. They are accepting applications by online form only. This consists of pages of rules and requirements, with questions requesting essay style answers. You pretty much need to complete a thesis on dog ownership and if deemed acceptable for consideration, they will contact you.

Ridiculous. No wonder so many dogs end up staying in the rescue centres. Poor dogs. Sad
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PinniGig · 17/09/2021 23:39

@Byheckythump

I was just looking at a dog on a local rescue centre website. They are accepting applications by online form only. This consists of pages of rules and requirements, with questions requesting essay style answers. You pretty much need to complete a thesis on dog ownership and if deemed acceptable for consideration, they will contact you.

@Byheckythump Out of curiosity where the questions things such as “How would you train a dog to sit / stop jumping or nipping?” and that kind of thing?
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LiamGallagherIsHot · 17/09/2021 23:40

You're rather missing the point that if people go to the rescue shelters and get turned away, they're going to go for a puppy anyway.

Then that says a lot about how much they care about dogs in many cases. Most will buy from pets4homes homes type sites. They ‘want want want’ a dog and ignore the exploitation that happens for their wants to be met. I’m sure most will love their new pup.... but what about the wider issues caused by the desire for someone to have a dog in this way. Of course rescues will mop up all that shit at a later date, when the mum of their pup is got rid of....and then people can slag them off cos they insist on the best home possible for their pups mum after the life she’s already endured, multiple litters and the toll that has taken on her body.

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Ijsbear · 17/09/2021 23:57

Im afraid that quite a number of the posters on here seem to actually have experience of owning dogs, care quite a lot about them, and simply don't get an answer from many rescue shelters at all.

On the basis of this thread, which is a very small sample but seems quite convincing, it honestly seems like the rescue shelters set the bar so high that normal people are forced to buy a puppy.

There has to be a balance between just rehoming pets to anyone, and making it impossible to get a rescue dog. Can't you see that by setting the bar to Perfection, that the rescue shelters seem to be directly part of the puppy farming problem?

Then that says a lot about how much they care about dogs in many cases

So uh .. how would you suggest they get a dog otherwise? Rescue seems to be out, buying a puppy seems to be out. You prefer people not to own dogs / cats / other animals?

A bit of sense seems called for!

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Byheckythump · 17/09/2021 23:58

@pinnigig nothing so basic! Questions ranged from any mental health issues to future plans and if you had to walk on a pavement to take the dog out.

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PinniGig · 18/09/2021 00:02

[quote Byheckythump]@pinnigig nothing so basic! Questions ranged from any mental health issues to future plans and if you had to walk on a pavement to take the dog out.[/quote]
@Byheckythump Wow that is full on. I'm all for a robust, thorough assessment process but Jesus.

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GiveUsACoffee · 18/09/2021 00:05

@LowbrowVictoriana

Also, I saw a news article about an anonymous vet who'd had to euthanise 5 healthy dogs in one day because they were unadopted, and shelters couldn't keep them any more.

And yet they turn adopters down!

I read that story yesterday. It was so sad. I felt down for the rest of the day
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DeepaBeesKit · 18/09/2021 06:29

We spent ages trying to get a rescue cat. We live in a quiet cul de sac, our house is off a path rather than a road. We have a garden & are in a rural location. Both had cats before.

Refused over and over again because:

  • we have kids
  • 90% of the animals we asked the umpteen rescues about, were either quite old, or they admitted had behavioural issues (lots who sprayed, were incredibly nervy or poorly socialised/semi feral).


Although we were grateful we started to realise that while rescues are great in principle for animals, they actually are not appropriate for most pet owners.

In the end we were lucky to get a cat from a tiny local rescue. They were hesistant about my DC but when we visited realised they were being OTT as when we found "our" cat she clearly bloody loved him, let him stroke her loads and was head butting him and purring. she must have known he would spend the next 5 years sneaking her cheese dreamies
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Hydrate · 18/09/2021 06:35

YANBU.

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Spudlet · 18/09/2021 08:40

Just to add - I have also worked in animal welfare. You want to hear cruelty stories? I could make several people cry on here in a heartbeat. I used to cry sometimes myself, at some of the things people did.

I still think some rescues are OTT. And I resent massively the idea that having bought a puppy from a responsible breeder makes me some kind of dog-hating idiot.

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SirChenjins · 18/09/2021 08:44

@LiamGallagherIsHot

You're rather missing the point that if people go to the rescue shelters and get turned away, they're going to go for a puppy anyway.

Then that says a lot about how much they care about dogs in many cases. Most will buy from pets4homes homes type sites. They ‘want want want’ a dog and ignore the exploitation that happens for their wants to be met. I’m sure most will love their new pup.... but what about the wider issues caused by the desire for someone to have a dog in this way. Of course rescues will mop up all that shit at a later date, when the mum of their pup is got rid of....and then people can slag them off cos they insist on the best home possible for their pups mum after the life she’s already endured, multiple litters and the toll that has taken on her body.

What on Earth do you mean?? Do you reap how offensive, patronising and downright stupid that sounds?
So exactly what are people supposed to do if they can’t get a rescue dog?
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SirChenjins · 18/09/2021 08:44

*realise

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Cirin · 18/09/2021 10:33

There's been a heartfelt essay by a vet doing the rounds about selfish puppy buyers and the noble act of the shelter, and I didn't bother replying but it fucks me right off that they totally neglect to mention that shelters won't let most people bloody adopt.

Kids? No chance. If you want your kids to grow up with a dog you'll have to buy a puppy, as shelters are too busy scrawling 'Absolutely bloody not' over their website and telling you on the phone no, no exceptions. If they got a basket of puppies in from the two most pleasant dogs in the nation, they'd still insist they were aggressive monsters who needed firm, experienced owners with at least 4acres of farmland, preferably retired.

The plaintive post went on about the sadness of euthanising healthy dogs that no one wants, but didn't dedicate a paragraph to the dogs that, let's be honest, will struggle to be rehomed. The shelters here contain little other than Staffies who come in cut, bitten and battle-scarres. Is it sad, yes, do we all hate dog fighting, yes, but trying to get these traumatised animals into homes is going to be an uphill challenge few are equipped to take on.

I also agree that obviously these cannot go to homes with children (my local shelters won't allow golden retrievers whose owners have died, or beagle puppies, to be adopted either. Some leeway would be sensible.)

There just seems to be a lack of suitable shelter dogs, really, and tugging at the heartstrings isn't going to make a family with toddlers adopt Butcher the one-eyed staff from Dog Fight Valley, and super-strict rules mean they aren't getting Princess the Pedigree Pup given up by idiots either.

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