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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another Dog one

107 replies

Softfresh · 16/09/2021 15:04

Took DD to the park today for a picnic lunch and a play after. I have no problem with dogs personally but DD is absolutely terrified of them.

We sat down at the picnic tables and within the space of 5-10 minutes, 3 different groups of people with 8-10 dogs between them decided it was okay to let their dogs pound up to us, off lead and jump and bark all around us. It's okay though because "they're friendly" why do people think this is okay? I don't mind dogs but I still don't want them jumping all over me when I'm eating lunch!

Every time this happened, I told them that DD was afraid of dogs. The first 2 groups were reasonable enough and took the dogs away after a few jumps and barks at us. DD was on edge by this point but I tried my best to calm her down.

Then a mother and daughter approach with yet another 2 dogs, running around our feet, jumping and barking. I explained that DD was scared so asked if she could move the dog. Of course her dog was friendly and wouldn't harm her by this point DD was practically on top of the table trying to get away from them! The woman then decided to tell DD that her dog gets excited when it sees food so she should hide her sandwiches! Wtf! At this point I had enough and told her sternly to move her dog and let us eat our lunch. I've already told her DD doesn't like dogs, she seemed pretty offended by my sharp tone.

Aibu to expect dog owners to keep their animals under control around people eating lunch? Why do these dog lovers think everyone must love their dogs as much as they do? I had to pack up and take DD elsewhere to eat and she spent the rest of the time completely on edge so our lovely afternoon was ruined by selfish rude people Rant over!

OP posts:

INeed2P · 16/09/2021 15:06

🍿🍿🍿

Undisclosedlocation · 16/09/2021 15:07

Yanbu. But you know that of course, by the eleventy billion previous threads on exactly the same subject

Roundearth · 16/09/2021 15:09

it will be quicker and easier to train your daughter to not be afraid of dogs than for her to manage to avoid this happening for the rest of her life..

Gatheringswallows · 16/09/2021 15:10

Of course not unreasonable but I would say exceptionally unlucky - that’s practically a pack of beasts surrounding you!

ChurchWCat · 16/09/2021 15:11

So 12 dogs all right under your feet/near DD/jumping up?

SylvanasWindrunner · 16/09/2021 15:18

Were you having lunch in the agility ring at Crufts?!

YANBU to not want that. I would never let DDog bother people like this. It does make me glad DD is growing up with a dog in the house though and is comfortable being around them as it must be quite a debilitating fear to have What a shame for your daughter. I hope she's okay now.

Mymapuddlington · 16/09/2021 15:21

Mine would never be allowed to do this.
I would say though that you need to work on your daughters fear before it becomes extreme as dogs are difficult to avoid.
One of mine is a therapy dog and has helped children overcome their fear of all dogs. Don’t get me wrong they’re not dog lovers by any means but aren’t afraid of walking past a dog in the street and don’t panic if one comes near them. Maybe there’s something like that near you?

Northofsomewhere · 16/09/2021 15:27

As a dog owner (have has dogs since I was born) I always put my dog(s) on a lead if walking through an eating area, even if its not currently in use. I don't know what could be on the floor that could harm my dog if they ate it and most people don't want unknown dogs near them when they're eating either. I certainly wouldn't want someone else's dog at my feet (or tempted onto the table) while I'm eating so wouldn't expect anyone else to put up with it.

My mum's a dog walker and unfortunately one of the dogs new the route so ran ahead (out of sight) to the picnic benches about 2 mins ahead and she found the dog on top of a picnic bench and a woman trying to defend her picnic basket. Trying to get the dog back was also hard work and she was a small terrier and could fit under the benches. My mum apologised as much as she could but it was completely unexpected. Obviously this didn't happen in this scenario but my mum is now extra careful certain dogs are on leads far sooner than others where the potential for food is concerned.

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/09/2021 15:28

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/09/2021 15:29

lol at crufts

Anothermothernamegame · 16/09/2021 15:32

I grew up with dogs and welcome dogs around me but YANBU. I would never assume anyone else feels like same, nor should they.

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/09/2021 15:33

NC op

charlestonchaplin · 16/09/2021 15:38

Feed them. Feed them unidentifiable food from plain bags, like freezer bags, so the owners have no idea what you’re feeding their dog. The more responsible ones will quickly call their dogs away. Expecting people to be decent and inconvenience themselves a smidgeon for your benefit is a waste of time. If you don’t fight fire with fire, you will always be the victim, having to endure patronising lectures from selfish dog owners about overcoming fear.

Twinstudy · 16/09/2021 15:38

Some people are just crap dog owners. I was walking in the park the other day and a family was in the playground area with an off lead lab. I'm sure it was friendly but surely some kids would be scared (and it will piss all over the roundabout). It was also running over to every dog that was walking through the main park. My on lead dog couldn't care less and just said hello and we walked on but another lady had a reactive on lead dog that got very upset when this lab bounded over to it. There should be some kind of rule book you have to read before you're allowed a dog (obviously this would be impossible to police tho )

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/09/2021 15:39

Really Charlie

Tal45 · 16/09/2021 15:39

I would work on your dd's fear as a priority to be honest, it's not nice to be terrified of anything, especially something she is likely to see out and about all the time.

TinnedPotatoesRock · 16/09/2021 15:40

If this is true and there were that many dogs then no, you're not being unreasonable. Dogs should not be off lead in areas where families are picnicking or children are playing...and I say that as a dog owner.

pigsDOfly · 16/09/2021 15:41

Were you having lunch in the agility ring at Crufts?!

It does sound like an extraordinary large number of dogs appearing during a picnic lunch.

But no it's not unreasonable to expect people to control their dogs, regardless of how friendly they are.

I don't expect other people to love my dog or accept her getting into their food and jumping all over them; I don't allow her to get into my food.

Does seem that you were exceptionally unlucky with the type of dog owners you came across today OP.

Mymapuddlington · 16/09/2021 15:41

There should be some kind of rule book you have to read before you're allowed a dog

Definitely agree. My dogs were chased by a really big dog, I ended up picking them up and this dog was still jumping and snapping and the owner was sat on a bench ignoring the whole thing. I walked off being followed by the dog and eventually the owner came and got him, didn’t apologise though.

Tal45 · 16/09/2021 15:42

@charlestonchaplin

Yeah OP you should constantly carry around a freezer bag with food suitable for dogs but unidentifiable to their owners, that'll stop 'em.

vivainsomnia · 16/09/2021 15:42

It really depends on the circumstances. If you are in the middle of park, where dogs are free to run and don't need to be on a lead, and just came close to the table without jumping on it to steal food or take it from your Dad's hand, I think you're a bit unreasonable. If you want a quiet picnic where you don't have to worry about your DD being distracted by dogs and worried, you'd be better to pick somewhere where dogs are either not allowed or expected to be on a lead.

If you were somewhere where dogs should be on a lead, you are totally in your right to be angry.

Since it was 3 groups, hopefully it was the former.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 16/09/2021 15:42

@Roundearth

it will be quicker and easier to train your daughter to not be afraid of dogs than for her to manage to avoid this happening for the rest of her life..

Oh because "training" humans is the way to go. As I said on the other thread, heaven forbid that dog owners actually pay for dog training and get their dogs trained and keep them away from people.

Also, when you are walking along a road, what's the thing with putting the dog between you and me? Please put yourself between your dog and me!

The current proliferation of dogs is beginning to make life very unpleasant. I had to miss a sports club social event at the weekend because I knew everyone would bring their dogs. It's getting ridiculous, and it's not the non-dog-owners who need to change.

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/09/2021 15:44

wonder when the next "I hate dogs" thread comes up.

vivainsomnia · 16/09/2021 15:45

I have to add that you are indeed very unlucky. I've never seen dogs jumping barking at people sitting on a bench at our local park I go to every day, let alone three times in an hour or so.

Mymapuddlington · 16/09/2021 15:46

@lockdownmadnessdotcom

I think people should try and get help to overcome their fear of dogs purely because it’s a very difficult thing to avoid. If you’re scared of flying, don’t fly, but you can’t avoid dogs.

Honestly never thought about where the dogs are in relation to passers by, I’ll try and keep them the other side in future as I didn’t know this could be an issue for some people.

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