Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another Dog one

107 replies

Softfresh · 16/09/2021 15:04

Took DD to the park today for a picnic lunch and a play after. I have no problem with dogs personally but DD is absolutely terrified of them.

We sat down at the picnic tables and within the space of 5-10 minutes, 3 different groups of people with 8-10 dogs between them decided it was okay to let their dogs pound up to us, off lead and jump and bark all around us. It's okay though because "they're friendly" why do people think this is okay? I don't mind dogs but I still don't want them jumping all over me when I'm eating lunch!

Every time this happened, I told them that DD was afraid of dogs. The first 2 groups were reasonable enough and took the dogs away after a few jumps and barks at us. DD was on edge by this point but I tried my best to calm her down.

Then a mother and daughter approach with yet another 2 dogs, running around our feet, jumping and barking. I explained that DD was scared so asked if she could move the dog. Of course her dog was friendly and wouldn't harm her Angry by this point DD was practically on top of the table trying to get away from them! The woman then decided to tell DD that her dog gets excited when it sees food so she should hide her sandwiches! Wtf! At this point I had enough and told her sternly to move her dog and let us eat our lunch. I've already told her DD doesn't like dogs, she seemed pretty offended by my sharp tone.

Aibu to expect dog owners to keep their animals under control around people eating lunch? Why do these dog lovers think everyone must love their dogs as much as they do? I had to pack up and take DD elsewhere to eat and she spent the rest of the time completely on edge so our lovely afternoon was ruined by selfish rude people Angry Rant over!

OP posts:
KingsleyShacklebolt · 16/09/2021 15:52

@Undisclosedlocation

Yanbu. But you know that of course, by the eleventy billion previous threads on exactly the same subject
YANBU, but it won't be long until the dog-obsessed brigade will be along saying that they are under no obligation to control their animal and that it's all your fault for "letting" your child be afraid.

Even when in most cases the fear is caused by one of those "friendly" dogs whose owner thinks it's OK to let their animal run up to people, jump on them, lick them.

KEEP YOUR FUCKING DOGS TO YOURSELF.

DaftVader42 · 16/09/2021 15:52

I don’t hate dogs. But so many people just think they have to do basic recall and walking on a lead, and that’s enough. And the number of dogs who are treated like children, and then act accordingly. I’m so surprised by the number of seemingly intelligent people who think this is appropriate. I love well trained dogs, and ime they tend not to be interested in other people because actually their world is their owner and they don’t want or need more. Pretty sad how well meaning people just don’t get what dogs actually need to be content.

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/09/2021 15:55

That's why my dogs go to an enclosed dog field. To keep away from adults and kids.

1forAll74 · 16/09/2021 15:56

Feed the dogs some unsuitable food for dogs, as in chocolate and cream cakes, then the owners might shove off.. Most dog owners don't care if you tell them your child is afraid of dogs, when they think their dogs are friendly and perfectly well behaved.

SoloISland · 16/09/2021 15:57

Two things. And I love dogs by the way. The sole reason I did not get another when the second of my two died is that I am no longer able tor the walks etc that they need. My last one was a JRT/Bassett cross who was such a live wire.... Snfff….I miss her. But there we are. But if we ever came near anyone on our walks I would call her to heel until I ascertained that the people were oK with her.

Enduring this is not the way to bring a fear under control. In fact it will only increase and reinforce it.

And enduring this should NOT be necessary among courteous, sensible folk.

The second ? Yes if this was a place where dogs are allowed to run free then best to avoid it while you are finding help for your daughter;s fear.
I have no fear of dogs but this was sheer discourtesy.

Maybe check with the local Dog Warden? They do great work here

Also ; here in Ireland many many folk got a dog during lockdown so maybe this is why there seem to be more. Now the main online ad sites are refusing to advertise dogs.

Hoppinggreen · 16/09/2021 15:57

@Gatheringswallows

Of course not unreasonable but I would say exceptionally unlucky - that’s practically a pack of beasts surrounding you!
Yeah, you were unbelievably unlucky there OP
pigsDOfly · 16/09/2021 15:59

@vivainsomnia

It really depends on the circumstances. If you are in the middle of park, where dogs are free to run and don't need to be on a lead, and just came close to the table without jumping on it to steal food or take it from your Dad's hand, I think you're a bit unreasonable. If you want a quiet picnic where you don't have to worry about your DD being distracted by dogs and worried, you'd be better to pick somewhere where dogs are either not allowed or expected to be on a lead.

If you were somewhere where dogs should be on a lead, you are totally in your right to be angry.

Since it was 3 groups, hopefully it was the former.

Yes, I used to live near a park that had an area where dogs were allowed off lead.

The rest of the park, a much larger, enclosed area, contained a huge, very well equipped children's play area, a large pond, various other areas for children to play and run, a small café with outdoor seating and a beautifully maintained grassed area that in itself was larger than the dog area.

Even so, you would still get people setting up their picnics in the dog friendly area and of course they'd find themselves surrounded by dogs.

It was known locally as somewhere you were going to meet a lot of dogs but people still persisted in having picnics there.

hermioneweasley48 · 16/09/2021 16:00

Ugh I hate this. I really hate it. Just today I was walking my small terrier around a park on lead and two larger dogs came bounding up to us and circling him while the owner shouted them back and was flatly ignored. It's so scary because you never know what the dogs might do despite their useless owners 'don't worry they're friendly' claims.

The amount of times I've been frightened that my small dog is going to get mauled during a walk because badly behaved dogs with no recall approach us is ridiculous. Just keep your fucking dogs on a lead it's not difficult.

Op I hope your daughter is ok. Yanbu to find this super annoying but unfortunately some dog owners are very entitled and inconsiderate.

OhGiveUp · 16/09/2021 16:01

@1forAll74 Bit unfair to kill the dog. Chocolate can be fatal for dogs.

Scandicc · 16/09/2021 16:02

Did you fill your pockets with bacon before going out?

Oh and yes obviously you’re not unreasonable to not want 16 dogs jumping and barking on you.

Scandicc · 16/09/2021 16:03

@1forAll74 animal cruelty is not a good look.

Original poster
Softfresh · 16/09/2021 16:09

Just to clarify, it was 3 separate groups of people, each group with 2-6 people and a few dogs each per group. The park isn't normally this busy with dogs or I would take her somewhere else.

The picnic area is directly beside the play park. The groups were cutting through the play park and picnic area with the dogs instead of using the path at the far side of the tables to get to the larger forest area behind.

Dd loves pretty much all animals, we have cats, fish and a hamster at home but a few occasions of dogs jumping her or knocking her over has made her very weary and afraid of them. I don't blame her tbh. I wouldn't have to teach her to be less afraid if dog owners hadn't allowed them to jump her in the first place.

I have no problem with dogs, I quite like them myself but I think it's very rude to allow them to run of lead through a seated picnic area filled with people eating lunch. I think I was unlucky today with the groups of people passing through. If it was one or 2 I don't think she would have been as bothered. But yeah, I don't care how harmless they are. Keep them away.

OP posts:
Antinerak · 16/09/2021 16:15

This is the exact reason I hate dogs and their owners. If they have no recall they should be on a lead at all times and they shouldn't approach people without being called over. I'd happily share my chocolate with them if they approached me :)

EatYourVegetables · 16/09/2021 16:17

“my dog gets excited when it sees food so you should hide your sandwiches” is as bad as “my son gets excited when he sees cleavage so your daughter should cover up” Grin

Mojoj · 16/09/2021 16:20

Of course that many dogs surrounding your picnic table is unacceptable but equally unacceptable is you allowing your daughter to grow up with such a debilitating fear.

IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble · 16/09/2021 16:24

I am probably one of the dog obsessed brigade as mentioned up thread and YANBU

I have two dogs and would never let them do that, people are just selfish idiots. They take the same approach to other dogs and owners as they did to you and your DD. It makes me furious.

DD1 was always scared of dogs, if you can work on that it would help her immensely but she should never be put in that position by irresponsible owners.

Knittingupastorm · 16/09/2021 16:26

it will be quicker and easier to train your daughter to not be afraid of dogs than for her to manage to avoid this happening for the rest of her life

I’m not afraid of dogs, but I’d still find this fucking annoying. I hate dogs jumping up at me, not because I’m scared, but just because I don’t want some random animal putting dirty paws on me.
Why some dog owners can’t comprehend that other people don’t love their little darlings is beyond me. I don’t let toddler DD near strange dogs (or people!), is it so hard to return the favour.

HalzTangz · 16/09/2021 16:28

@Northofsomewhere

As a dog owner (have has dogs since I was born) I always put my dog(s) on a lead if walking through an eating area, even if its not currently in use. I don't know what could be on the floor that could harm my dog if they ate it and most people don't want unknown dogs near them when they're eating either. I certainly wouldn't want someone else's dog at my feet (or tempted onto the table) while I'm eating so wouldn't expect anyone else to put up with it.

My mum's a dog walker and unfortunately one of the dogs new the route so ran ahead (out of sight) to the picnic benches about 2 mins ahead and she found the dog on top of a picnic bench and a woman trying to defend her picnic basket. Trying to get the dog back was also hard work and she was a small terrier and could fit under the benches. My mum apologised as much as she could but it was completely unexpected. Obviously this didn't happen in this scenario but my mum is now extra careful certain dogs are on leads far sooner than others where the potential for food is concerned.

And if dogs were kept on leads at all times in public areas then that incident would never have happened.

I'm a dog lover, have two dogs, always on leads in any public area not just eating areas, only off lead in the garden or private fields we hire.

There's no excuse in my eyes for any dog to be off lead at any time in public

MrsBobDylan · 16/09/2021 16:29

Why did you choose a place with lots of off lead dogs for your picnic?

It's like jumping in a swimming pool with clothes on and being angry you got wet.

Original poster
Softfresh · 16/09/2021 16:32

"Why did you choose a place with lots of off lead dogs for your picnic?"

I stupidly assumed that the owners would be able to read the signs that stated dogs must be kept on a lead Smile

OP posts:
IntermittentParps · 16/09/2021 16:33

@vivainsomnia

It really depends on the circumstances. If you are in the middle of park, where dogs are free to run and don't need to be on a lead, and just came close to the table without jumping on it to steal food or take it from your Dad's hand, I think you're a bit unreasonable. If you want a quiet picnic where you don't have to worry about your DD being distracted by dogs and worried, you'd be better to pick somewhere where dogs are either not allowed or expected to be on a lead.

If you were somewhere where dogs should be on a lead, you are totally in your right to be angry.

Since it was 3 groups, hopefully it was the former.

It's clear from the OP's post that the dogs weren't just 'close to the table' but were under her feet.

And even in an area where dogs are free to run, owners need to call them off/put them on a lead if they're near people who are obviously eating. Apart from anything else, many dogs are dustbins and would eat anything, with potentially disastrous consequences for them.

I do agree the OP's DD needs to work on her fear of dogs, just as a general principle. But in this specific instance, I would have been pissed off, and I really like dogs.

IntermittentParps · 16/09/2021 16:34

@MrsBobDylan

Why did you choose a place with lots of off lead dogs for your picnic?

It's like jumping in a swimming pool with clothes on and being angry you got wet.

She's just explained why there were so many dogs around.
SquirrelFan · 16/09/2021 16:35

@lockdownmadnessdotcom Maybe it's to do with social distancing. I quite like being "a dog away" from someone when they pass me. I'd rather be near their dog than breathe their air!

MrsBobDylan · 16/09/2021 21:09

Yes, an explanation that there were dogs off lead when they shouldn't be, but still unwise to have a picnic there, or am I missing something?

PixieLaLa · 16/09/2021 21:26

I think your energy would be better spent helping DD over come her fear of dogs. It’s not practical to expect that all dogs she meets are going to be on leads/not run up to her (especially in a park!)

DD will be picking up on your emotion too if your feeling tense/nervous/annoyed when you see dogs off leads approaching so I would try not to react at all or in a positive way.

Swipe left for the next trending thread