To have ivf in this situation?

[Maybebaby111]

This isn’t really an AIBU, but not sure where it belongs really.

I went to see a fertility doctor today after 3 years of TTC my second child. (DS is 5 and was conceived naturally instantly - first try). I’m 41. Ivf, the doctor said, is pretty much the only chance we have of conceiving because of DH’s sperm.

We already have one DS, so I don’t know whether or not all the heartache and expense for something that only has a 20% chance of working is good for me?

But what if I don’t try and I could have had another?

Ds will be a minimum 6 by the time any baby came along, so a fair gap.

And I’m worried that the IVF would spiral into a “one more try” thing, and it would take years and years and maybe not even work.

My age isn’t unusual in London, where I live. But I suppose I really don’t know whether or not to try.

I look at DS’ old baby things and cry. I’m a mess.

Any experiences or advice?

£300 sounds cheap for tests. Ours was over £800
When did cycle 3 as was over year since 1&2 failed ones

Icsi is worth it as they take the best sperm and inject into egg so the best chance iyswim

Yes, I went back and looked.

I can imagine the op is worrying that it may not be successful but - it might! Nothing ventured as they say.

I wish her and her husband all the good luck in the world, whatever happens.

I have 2 children and had a miscarriage last year just before I turned 42. Since then I have been hell bent in getting pregnant again tried everything from digital ovulation monitors to pressed but absolutely nothing has worked. I had an initial consultation for IVF in May was told 5% chance with my own eggs I wanted to try but my husband will absolutely not entertain the idea. More time has passed and every month disappointment. I wish more than anything I could be settled and content with what I have. Things have got worse since my mum died in march this year. If I were 41 and had a willing partner I would try but setting myself a maximum amount of tries with my own eggs maybe twice and then look for a donor egg you can ask a friend or family member to be a donor for you or my cousin is a midwife and she says a lot of women she sees in their 40's having babies have used donor clinics in Spain. Again my husband refuses to even consider this option. I feel stuck but have no way to move forward with this and am 44 in about 4 months so I think that's probably it for me but making peace with that seems impossible. Good luck with your decision. You have to consider that if in 2 years time you will think that you will regret not trying then it will be worthwhile giving it a go with your odds are reasonably decent and 20% is a decent chance. If I had those odds and a husband who would agree to trying I'd be at the IVF clinic tomorrow.